Thinking of seeking an assessment

[SweetPeaSoup]

I don't really know what I want from this thread, but the idea of approaching the fixture about DS1 is a huge thing in my mind.

He's highly intelligent, very (extremely) verbal, has a great, if unique, sense of humour, and yet something isn't quite right.

The thing is, my DB has Asperger Syndrome, so I sort of know the things to look out for, so I don't know whether I'm projecting into DS (especially as my mum is convinced that he's on the spectrum, and is very vocal about it).

DS lives for order - insofar as if someone says something will happen, god help them if it doesn't. An example - he was told that he could have some cake when we got in. But that says interpreted as literally as it could possibly be, and then the mother of all meltdowns ensued when the first person through the door didn't get it for him the second they put foot on the doormat.

There are many things - insistence on watching YouTube videos over and over of buswashes /road sweepers /train washes, very very limited food choices, doesn't seem to 'get' friendships, copies things he hears in a strange voice through gritted teeth, does not cope with touching slimy things, will walk along in public making an alarm noise when he (for example) sees a red traffic light, can't stand the noise of hand driers, makes loud repetitive noises when the baby cries. Oh god the list just goes on and on.

He's 5 years old, and it breaks my heart that I've got to go to the doctor and say that I think there's something wrong, because there's nothing wrong, he's just himself.

Sorry for the immense ramble - I think I need to seek an assessment because we need the school to help him if help is needed, and to find new ways to help him ourselves if there are things we could do.

Anyone who knows us will know exactly who we are from this!

I guess I wanted to ask for stories of what prompted people to seek an assessment, or reassurance that it's the right thing to do?

[Notgivingin789]

Hi SweetPeasoup, you are right to seek an assessment. How is his language/communication skills?

[SweetPeaSoup]

Thank you Poulter, I think that I kind of already know what might come of an assessment, but it's almost as if actually seeking one makes my concerns real.

NotGivingIn, his language has always been incredibly good - people say it's like talking to a teenager. It seems to me that he memorises little phrases and repeats them at opportune moments, usually to great effect.

Communication as opposed to language though, I'm not so sure. He is very literal - so when asking (Every. Single. Night) what he should do with his clothes, we have to specify every time that his underwear has to go in the washing basket because if we said 'oh put it beside the bed, you can wear it tomorrow', that is taken to mean every item of clothing. The blanket direction that underwear always goes in the basket doesn't seem to sink in.

Also, he talks to people rather than with them - not so long ago, he'd approach groups of kids who he wanted to play with and address them as "Children...". It's not so noticeable with adults because they tend to indulge him with whatever he wants to talk about, though if he has a phone conversation, I have to prompt just about everything or conversation stops.

This is just the tip of the iceberg and I don't know how much is average 5 year old behaviour though - or even where to start with the GP.

[Youarentkiddingme]

I agree seek support and assessment if you have concerns.

I also knew from when ds was a toddler he wasn't nt. I wished I'd ignored all the blaming me comments (or rather lone child, lone parent, boy, summer born etc).

My ds is actually very social but doesn't know how to socialise. He certainly stands out against his peers and even children a few hears younger than him now. And yes to talking at people - that's my ds speciality!

With regards the needing each step explained I found visual cue cards good for my ds.