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would you go?

8 replies

2Shoes · 18/11/2006 17:56

my db has invited us to stay but he just doesn't "get it"
he has a smallish house. the sleeping arrangements would mean me/dh and dd(who has cp) will be in the same room.so no sleep for me as I know she will not settle.(he did ask if we had a cot.......she is 11!!!)
then you have all the lifting up stairs and toileting issues. on top of that their house is not child friendly let alone disabled friendly.
I have told him this. think he thinks I am just making excuses but I won't put myself in such a difficult position.
I just don't get why he can not realise our life is different. we can't just doss down at someones house.

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tobysmumkent · 18/11/2006 19:28

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FioFio · 18/11/2006 19:50

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2Shoes · 18/11/2006 23:19

he knows all about it. has stayed with us loads. but he is of the children should be seen and not heard brigade. not a good start.
he lives about 250 miles away. has no kids and no understanding really of what the bring with them. he asked me if she had a travel cot(she is 11)
last time we stayed in a holiday place which was lovely but expensive.

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2Shoes · 18/11/2006 23:23

i think my original post was a bit misleading. I have already decided nnot to go.
but need to know how others deal with telling people in a nice way that it won't work.

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tobysmumkent · 19/11/2006 09:16

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Fattymumma · 20/11/2006 00:40

think i would say the same - its a bit difficult but its such a kind offer anyway, maybe you could come stay with us instead as we would love to see you but this is much easier.

i get this a lot though, there was a family party in a hall. the hall was situated in a busey main road with a small car park at the front. my family is huge and there are a lot of children, the doors would be open as some of the odler ones would undoubtedlt be playing in the carpark (the teenage ones like to clique up in their own space)

so obviously DS would have been straight out the door and into the road. if the doors were closed he would have been A)freaked out by all the people that were there or B) used his defense mechanism of getting over excited and running about like a lunatic licking them all.

i tried about 30 times to explain this to my family but i still end up looking like the miserable unsociable one.

sometimes you just resign yuorself to the fact that you will be seen as a grump.

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Jimjams2 · 20/11/2006 08:40

no I wouldn't go. I say "at the moment it is impossible for us to stay with you as it wouldn't be safe for ds1 (he needs all doors locked with a removeable key and all windows locked for starters). We hope to be able to come in a few years time when he's a bit older.

The 2nd bit is unlikely tbh but it helps to say it I think.