Need some perspective

[Summeblaze]

I have 3 dc. My eldest is 11, DS who is 7 and has Moderate LD and my youngest who is a toddler.

I am friends with a group of ladies who I know through my eldest. They have another 8 dc between them. 5 are 11, 2 are 8 and 1 is a baby.

In a few weeks, one of them is having a get together. It is on an evening so I wasn't going to take my youngest and the other lady isn't taking her baby but all the others are going. I was going to take my eldest and DS but I've been told that they are probably going to be outside to play which DS1 can't do so it's 'up to me'. Tone of the text sounded like she would rather him not come. It's not the first time and once I was actually told that it was only the older (11 yo) ones invited and then got there and realised the 2 younger ones (8) were there. They are only months older than my DS but obviously NT.

Am I wrong to be upset about this lack of consideration or is this completely normal for friends to not get it. My toddler doesn't care that the isn't coming but DS will be and will be gutted.

[blankgaze]

Unfortunately, lots of parents of NT kids can't see past their own prejudice and do behave like this, they don't understand and in a lot of cases are so judgemental from their own narrow perspectives that they are not prepared to make any allowances for your ds' behaviour.

Sometimes those parents feel 'put on the spot' because allowances should be made for your DS, yet their kids doing the same thing results in sanctions, which leads to the inevitable 'But Muuuum, why can he do that and I can't?' type of question, which in turn they'll likely not want to answer within your earshot in case they use offensive terminology by accident.

Try and rise above it, and work on perfecting your rhino hide. It's up to you whether to try and educate them or to extend your friendship circle so you're not as dependant on this group. I know it's hard