So here starts the process

[Sirzy]

DS is 5 and in reception. Had concerns for a while. Was touched upon in nursery but not a lot done (was reffered to the early years specialist teacher who was as much use as a chocolate tea pot)

Just had an hour and a half meeting with his class teacher and the SENCO to do a caf for him, mainly based on his health needs (brittle asthmatic) but the process allowed us to really look at his wider "issues"

Now we are at the point where a refferal is being made for an ed psych assessment for ? ASD/generalised learning and development delay.

He has been seen by the children's centre SalT but the school aren't happy with that so they are trying to get him over the the NHS salt team. They are also sorting a referal to physio for his gross motor skill delay and arranging for his hearing screening to be done early. He is already getting some 1-1 time to help with his social skills so school are going to look at increasing that too.

As happy as I am with the fact that school are being so proactive I am currently feeling very overwhelmed by everything. Going over the whole history has made me hyper aware of his "problems"

[2boysnamedR]

Don't think of everything all at once, one step at a time or you will get burn out.

It's great your getting help now, let these people work for you

[Sirzy]

Thanks both.

It is overwhelming. I'm so pleased school are good but can't help but selfishly thing about how we are now going to have even more appointments to juggle (he is already under 3 consultants for his chest)

I know it's nothing compared to what so many are going through but still so daunting.

[hazeyjane]

Just wanted to say hello, and good luck with it all, Sirzy - it is overwhelming, but it is great that school (and you!) are on the ball.

[Sirzy]

Thanks hazey

[senvet]

Diagnosis is such a strange time - some of it is relief to have a plan for going forwards and some of it is a desire for a magic wand to make it all go away.

But nothing can stop your dc being a brilliant amazing addition to your life and bringing extra qualities to your life that you weren't expecting.

When my legs stopped working it was all pretty overwhelming and (sorry if you have seen this before) here are the thinigs I found helped - in case they help you here they are:-

I set aside chunks of time where I just enjoyed times with my dcs and family - disabled-admin was not allowed

I found techniques to deal with pity from other people - mostly saying 'enjoying life' did the trick. Pity, including self pity, I found out, is a nasty destructive thing

for self pity I had a friend who told me that most of the planet would swap places with me just for the certainty of a roof over my head and a meal a day. So that was me told. Counting my blessings became a useful habit

I divided my friends up into those who were good at telling me distracting stories, those who really were good for a heart-to-heart, and then the New Zealanders who were good at night!

We had great support from family, friends and people we scarcely knew, and that helped us, until we were used to our new normality.

Now we are there, I wonder if other families can really appreciate life the way we do. We have a different family life from the one we expected, but it is somehow richer and we are stronger. I usually say "the rose tinted glasses are off, but after an initial blur, the colours are brighter and clearer"

I hope this helps

[Sirzy]

That's really helpful thanks senvent

[Sirzy]

Quick update - had a call from the school nurse she is arranging a referral to a community paediatrician. She said that they would look to diagnose if a diagnosis is needed - can anyone shred any light on what happens at these appointments? I assume numerous appointments are needed before getting anywhere?