Does autism "go away"?

[Thaigal]

I have always suspected that my younger sister may have autism, she showed all the classic signs as she was growing up, from nursery she would always sit on her own and avoid the others, she could never make any friends and became obsessed with material objects instead such as a certain fluffy toy, a certain out of date games console and even other peoples toilets. The fluffy toy she would carry around everywhere, she would talk to it and have 2 way conversations with it, she would blame it for things, laugh at it and generally revolve her life around it...not too strange for a little one but this went on until she was about 9-10 years old and it the end it was forcefully removed from her to make her act "more grown up". She was also obsessed with a games console, she would spread all the games all over the floor in a certain order and then sit and stare at the screen swaying from side to side laughing at the screen...never actually playing the games. She also had 2 way conversations with the games on the floor too, this went on until last year when she was 12.

There are loads of other examples but my mum is too proud to admit that anything is wrong with her so she has never been diagnosed with anything, just lately however she doesn't seem too bad, at 13 she is now acting more or less normal however she has replaced the old fluffy toy with a new one and I've noticed she talks to it when she thinks nobody is looking, I saw her pretending to feed it the other day and "wind" it, she will also put it in peoples faces and just stand there laughing with it in your face. She is also having 2 way conversations with herself in her room and she is still organising all her possesions to the point where she knows if anything has been touched.

So, she doesnt seem "as bad" anymore but she still doesnt seem 100% 'normal' if that makes any sense? does autism become less obvious as children grow older or is it more likely that she never had autism to start with?

[2mum]

Hi Thaigal. My son has low functioning autism and although your sister sounds as if she shows a couple of signs you cant actually know unless she is assessed by a professional.

[worcestercaroline]

u don't grow out of autism, u have it for life. have teachers at school ever commented on her behaviour, does she flap her hands, or hold things up really close to her face, or tap things onto other objects. My guess is that she was probably not autistic. she may just feel more comfortable with toys as she knows that they r not going to hurt her feeling by saying nasty comments to her, she may have just been a shy child and not wanted to be near people. Probably not much help-sorry

[MrsForgetful]

my eldest is 13 next month...he has Aspergers and ADHD.... and i suppose as he gets older he is managing better...he has learnt strategies to cope...but he is and always will be autistic.

the best way i can answer your question is with me....in that having learnt so much about ASD cos 2 of my sons have AS...i have come to see many of the traits in myself,my brother,my dad and his mum....sowho knows we may all have some degree of 'it'.
As a child/teen i felt such an outsider...and as an older teen rebelled badly...i ended up needing counselling etc....now i am under the watchful eye of a psychiatrist...and recently diagnosed with OCD.

basically ...i believe with high functioning autism...the person does find ways to 'fit in' and 'appear normal'....but inwardly...i am the same person i was then... i still find much about life does not come naturally...but i do manage...but it is all a conscious effort...i have to consciously think through many of my actions and still frequently insult people without realising till its too late. i therefore find friendships hard...i am suspicious of peoples motives....i hate changes to my plans...i have to consciuosly remind myself to look at people as they talk to me....and so on.

now...i may not ever get an autism diagnosis...i may not be autistic....i believe i am...so i read up on strategies and explanations to help me.

however...i agree that your sister should be assessed...its one thing me at 39 self helping myself as mum to 2 autistic lads...as i believe it is hereditory...and life has been better for me since i tried living this way.....but for your sister she is young enough to still be taken seriously as a child/teen ...whereas as an adult all the specalists want to do is lable us with anxiety,OCD and depression... which are funnily enough often experienced by autistic individuals.

so not sure whether i have helped....but hopefully someone else will have more experience.

[SoupDragon]

"my eldest is 13 next month...he has Aspergers and ADHD.... and i suppose as he gets older he is managing better...he has learnt strategies to cope...but he is and always will be autistic"

That's exactly how things have turned out with my distant cousin. He's now late 20s and autistic and has learnt how to deal with potential flash points before they happen. Yes, he can remove himself from a situation now before meltdown but he's still autistic.

[MrsForgetful]

my son asked me if he will always be autsitic...hard one to just say YES to so i explained to my son that when he is a man...he will LIVE WHERE HE WANTS....EAT WHAT HE WANTS....WORK WHERE HE WANTS....TALK TO WHO HE WANTS etc....whereas now as a 'child' he is constantly in situations which can trigger his meltdowns...but once he lives independantly (as i am confident he will...in his own way...probably next door to us...me cooking etc for him!)...then he will simply avoid the triggers.


best way to explain this is to describe him....

he 'copes' at school in mainstream with no support...he is gifted at computing...gaming etc...so i am sure he will work with computers... so he will suit the image of IT workers. He pops in and out of his room to chat to me about the latest internet virus...or other trivia...which in his aspergers way leaves no room for my input! Then he goes back and plays some more..then he has a chat.....so he is not what i'd call a recluse. But as far as i am concerned he is with others his age at school from 8.30- 3 ...as he will eventually be as a working man....and if he chooses to be alone every evening...so avoiding triggers...then i have no problem. I would worry if he withdre w completely. I can imagine him going to tesco every night to buy what he wants to eat that night...and thats ok too....not ever expecting him to be able to plan way ahead ...but equally i can imagine him buying a months worth of a particular pizza...for every night...if that is what he fancies!!!!

So he will always have to try harder to do what appears to be natural...and many people may not realise the effort he has to make- nor appreciate it...
but he will still be autistic.