shutdowns?

[babyinarms]

Hi all! My 10 year old ds was diagnosed with ASD in Aug of this year. He is in mainstream school and he is high functioning .
My problem at the moment is his lack of coping skills. DS isn't one to have a meltdown but he shuts us out. Any bit of confrontation, frustration, anxiety and he runs off ....burries his head in the nearest cushion with his hands over his ears.....shutting us out.
My worry is that he doesn't have the coping skills to deal with any little thing that goes slightly wrong!
Did any of you have this?. If so , how did u help ur lo.?
I'm worried cos it's happening more and more. I feel he needs to find the resources within himself...or be thought these skills to get through his day.....I just don't know where to start. TIA

[LuvMyBoyz]

Bumping for you.

[Firsttheyignoreyou]

Hi Baby!

He is "coping" - he is using flight to cope. When stressed, we all fight or flight, and it sounds like his preferred method is flight. Reframing it - changing it and/or giving him more strategies: there are great books out there. I really like Jessica Kingsley publications.
Alternatively, what has worked for us is CBT. We have been going for over a year - some LAs offer six weeks, many don't offer anything. We go privately and it has been a game-changer.

[senvet]

yes, my relative cannot handle two things at once - eg the phone ringing when she is cooking.

Now she can tell us that she is cooking and that she will call back, but it has taken time for her to unravel what the issues were. It was organisational overload really.

When he is calm, can he tell what things might help (visual timetables, preparation for any changes to routine, or whatever)?

[babyinarms]

Sorry only saw replies now! Thanks a million for them and bumping the post!
I have spoken to him about it when he's calm and he says he can't help it. He feels panicky he says . So I suppose that is a flight response.
He needs to be able to stay when things get tough. It's happening more and more. It can be over the slightest things and you can't get anything through to him when he's in that state.
Afterwards he can't explain why he did it. .... hehas a bit of a language delay so expressing himself is difficult.
I have considered therapy but didn't know what route to take. I feel he needs coping skills before puberty kicks in, cos I cld imagine things getting worse not better at that stage. I will look into CBT alright.
I was wondering if social skill groups wld help with this behaviour?
Thanks again.