Aspergers and Sons quirks -

[peppajay]

My son is 6 and in reception he was referred to a paediatrician for suspected aspergers - he is different, quirky and unique. He is fine on a day to day basis as long as he in control but if anything goes wrong he can't cope and suffers with anxciety. Academically he is flying behaviour is a bit hit and miss at school depending on the routine and situation.- this years teacher is fantastic and she thinks he does have aspergers but going down the diagnosis route would be more stressful than the condition himself. At the moment he is accepted for who he is and people love him but I am worried that because of his quirks later on when he gets older he will get bullied. He adores dancing and spends every waking moment making up dance routines. At play times at school he puts on little shows for his friends. He doesn't play with boys as he has no interest in football or dr who. His dancing is what keeps him calm and when he is feeling stressed he will break into a dance. He is in a dance troupe with all girls and he couldn't give a monkeys as long as he dancing. We popped to the park after school last night and there were some older boys from his school playing football and when he broke into dance they were saying such mean things but the more they laughed and took the mick the more he did it - he doesn't get that they are being mean he thinks that they are laughing at him not with him. He has been called names such as weirdo oddball by bigger children lately but it doesn't worry him one bit he is happy being him and doesn't seem to get when people say nasty things to him. We had an issue at school at the start of term where he was saying mean things to another child but he was using logic to state a fact and had absolutely no idea that what he was doing was mean. I am just worried that because of his differences life is going to get much much harder for him and don't know the best way to minimise this for him????

[Ineedmorepatience]

I agree diagnosis has helped Dd3 to be herself, she knows she is different and can deal with it.

I think you should have a word at school so that the older children can be taught that their behaviour/name calling is totally unacceptable!!

[Sunnymeg]

My DS was diagnosed at 5. A diagnosis opens doors and gets you help. It meant that DS had a lot of help and input with his social skills which has paid dividends now he is at secondary school.

[happywanderingwithdog]

Go for a diagnosis. My son is currently on the long, long waiting list (it has been 7 months since the paed appointment, we are still waiting!). He is 9 and whereas before although he was obviously quirky and antisocial, his anxiety has increased to such an extent that he is now not attending school. You need to think of the future, about what will happen when he goes up to juniors, then the big step to secondary. It is going to be a lot easier with the support a diagnosis will bring.

[peppajay]

Thanks for all your messages. The school are not good with SEN children - their provision is very low and the SENCO is absolutely useless. My DD has a friend with CP and he doesn't get a 1-1 as he is not disruptive and although he has a diagnosis he doesn't have a statement!!! He is moving to the school where I work as 1-1 TA after Christmas and he will have 20 hrs of 1-1 support!!!!! Around here though it seems extremely difficult to get a statement and your child has to be extremely severe to get a statement that is why the school are against diagnosis because even if he gets a diagnosis which they don't know if he will - he will not get a statement and without a statement he will not get help, so seems a bit pointless. I have considered moving schools and he could get a place at the school where I work where they employ 1-1's for children without statements but the school as a whole isn't as good as the school he is already at!!! So really not sure what to do??

[millimoohoo]

I stalled getting my DS diagnosed for too long, people stated to me that he should have his needs met without one but from my experience this has been much easier to achieve post diagnosis. when he did get the diagnosis for Asperger's, I cant tell you the effect it had on him. It really was a positive move and made such a difference to his understanding of himself and his behaviour. We have read all about the condition and he now knows he's not the only one who acts/feels like he does. IMO go for the diagnosis you've got nothing to lose.

[Taramara]

How about setting the wheels in motion for a diagnosis?
So ask your GP to refer you to a paediatrician?
It all takes time
So if in a year when the appointment comes through (or six months being optimistic!!) you don't want to go you can cancel or postpone
If by that point you are more sure then you will be glad you got it in place

[Ineedmorepatience]

Hi again peppa, dont let anyone tell you your child (or the other one) is too able to be statemented. The law says that if children need provision over and above that of their peers in order to make progress then they may need to be assessed and possibly given an EHCP (new version of statement).

Parents can apply for EHCP's the same as statements and there is still the option to appeal if a parental request is turned down!
LA's like to make up their own rules but the law is the same across the country!

Good luck

[frankiebuns]

This is my son exactly he is 4 and is highly intelligent and very musical we have just started the process of diagnosis but it's the best thing at the moment although family conflicts about what I'm doing to him getting him signalled out etx is getting me down. My son has to constantly drum on things and insists on having one trouser leg rolled up its turned into a fashion statement as all his friends this 's he's cool but my son dent Give a monkey's! I now don't panic or get stressed and let him do it as the melt downs aren't worth it! I have told some close friends but my mum had a go at me saying I should never tell anyone about his condition. Great