nearly 7 and pooing in his pants.

[Mytwopenceworth]

ds1, who is autistic, will be 7 in about a fortnight. until last year he was in nappies at night as he refused to poo in loo or potty. he then refused to wear nappies and for a bit he used the loo. however, now he wont use loo or potty and if you say well you will have to wear a nappy then, he has a meltdown! result - he poos in his pants then washes it off in the bidet! every night. i have tried everything, including holding him down on the loo and on the potty, but this just triggered KABOOOOOOM!! as i am sure you can imagine!

i am so sick of scraping a full poo out of his pants and cleaning it up from everywhere he's smeared it or dropped it and all the sheets, clothes, towels etc he has wiped his bum on. im sick of him smelling all the time, - i have to force him to bend over and then i clean his bum with a soaped up finger!

ds2 is out of nappies for about a year also, but he usually uses the potty, unless he doesnt feel like it, then he goes (wee or poo) in the garden, on the windowsill, behind the sofa, name it, but at least he usually goes somewhere appropriate, so i feel theres hope. ds1 just wont budge no matter what i do. im still going to be cleaning him with my soapy finger when he's 35, i can feel it.

i am so sick of poo. has anyone got any advice? or messages of hope?

[Anoah]

Is he constipated? My ASD son was having this problem at age 4.5 after he had been potty trained for about 6 months. Turns out he was constipated, and had a blockage up in his bowel. Softer stool was leaking around it, and was coming out daily without giving him the normal "I need the loo" sensation. It was sorted out with lactulose. Could it be something like that?

Sometimes when they don't like the loo they withhold it as much as they can and get a blockage.

I don't really have any words of advice, just hugs to you.

[Mytwopenceworth]

i dont know. its def worth ruling it out. can i get this lactulose from a chemist?

[Anoah]

I took my DS to the GP. He had a feel of his tummy and diagnosed constipation. GP then prescribed lactulose. I think for kids it needs to be prescribed by a GP. Probably safer that way.

My poor DS was pooing himself at school, he is in mainstream. They sent him home when it happened. One time it happened in PE, and he decide to spread it around the gym. My poor baby. I was mortified. I hope that the other kids were young enough to forget!!

[Seahorse2]

My ds had this problem. He's not autistic so I obviously don't know what difference that makes in how you handle it but I saw my GP who was no help other than to give us lactulose. We ran out and I also got some from the chemist. It's only a sugar solution I think and I don't think it can do them any harm except rot their teeth! My ds took 11 months to get over it. I know exactly how you feel. I was so sick of it all. It takes over your life, doesn't it? Sometimes you just want to not think about poo for a day!
Anyway, I read that they can make themselves constipated by holding it in, rather than it being diet related and that they then lose the natural sensation of needing to go. So then they can't make it to the toilet in time, even if they want to. The lactulose softens it up so the poo doesn't hurt and comes out more easily again.
My ds would poo in his pants up to 12 times a day! With me cleaning up each time. I tried all sorts to solve it, all the caring nice ways to no avail, but eventually I just told him if he pooed in his pants he had to sit on the toilet until he did one there. This way he at least got used to going on the toilet which he hadn't done for months. The longest it took was an hour of sitting. He screamed and shouted but I had a new baby and just couldn't take it anymore. He was also taking the lactulose. After a while it got shorter and shorter and now he goes normally. It took about a month. He was nearly 4 so I don't know if this would help you with your older child.