Oh my goodness...

[eidsvold]

A friend of mine shared these experiences with me - can't believe the ignorance that still persists...

She took her ds to see the Doctor this week and our usual GP has moved to another practice, all of his records are there so she thought they'd just see a new Doctor. Said Dr looked at him as we walked in and commented "Ah Down syndrome"
She said "His name is X"
He then asked "Has he had it since birth?"
She was so astounded she couldn't even speak, she was just sitting there looking at him with her mouth open, after a few minutes of him studying her face he said "I guess so then"

My friend really, really wished she had been switched on enough at the time to say "No, he just woke up with it yesterday, is there anything you can do?" But alas she was in shock and my wit was not available.

My friend did say that she laughed when she got outside - figuring you gotta laugh or you'd cry. Needless to say they won't be going back there.

Her ds has a fabulous school bus driver who often rings on the weekend to see if he can go over and spend some time with her because she loves him so much.

When she dropped him off this afternoon she told me about what happened last time he visited:

They went to a local fish & chip shop to order some lunch and were waiting outside for their order. There was a man who had a dog and he asked ds if he'd like to pat it. Her ds said "It's a beautiful dog, I think it's got some Bull Mastiff in it" The driver said that the man totally astonished, looked down at ds crouching with the dog and said "I didn't think that 'they' could talk" Her ds promptly responded matter of factly " They can't, but they can bark"
She's still laughing.

[getbakainyourjimjams]

PMSL- has he had it since birth, good god.

I saw a locum GP this week with ds3. (He was about 80). He said to me :"do you work?" and I explained a little, but mentioned I had a severely autistic son. Bit more conversation then he said "terrible affliction autism, terrible" ok whatever, then he said "of course girls cant get it, only boys". I corrected him. Kindly, because he was so ancient.

[Rhubarb]

Perhaps he was trying to be funny? I hope so, I really hope he doesn't think that Downs is something you can just 'catch'!

[eidsvold]

i think I would have been so furious I would have lost it....

having said that - dd1 has an opthamologist at the hospital who is positively ancient - in fact he has been dd1's great great aunty's opthamologist forever - he used the phrase Down's children in conversation with me - and surprisingly I was not so angered as I am when younger people do it - suppose I was just pleased he did not say mongol. I must work on gently bringing him round.

[getbakainyourjimjams]

Eidsvold- I was showin round the other SLD school in our town by the head who insisted on using the term "a Down's" all the way round. Mind you when he asked about ds1 and we said he was like child X we had seen he said "oh veryu low functioning then".

Funnily enough we chose the other school! (and the HT who showed us round has since retired!)

[twokids]

this reminded me of when I was taking my dd to school for parents(conductive education) the "teacher" would refer to afetoids used to really wind me up as she should have know better I maean would she have gone on about spastics when talking about the children with spastic cp

[sphil]

My HV has a son with Down syndrome - she was in a queue once and two women in front were talking. One said to the other
" Of course you can always tell the parents of children with special needs. They just look a bit odd, don't you think?"

[eidsvold]

sphil - so that's what it is !! So really people are staring at dd1's odd mother not dd1. Must remember that one.

On a simialr vein - I have this Mary Kay woman who is harrassing me to buy mroe stuff etc - keeps wanting to set appt times to come and shove mroe make up at me - I mean I never wear it and when I do - not enough to warrant what they charge for it. Anyway - she went off on one on the phone the other day about these woman - really young having babies or waiting until they are in their 30's - even late 30's before being bothered to start a family - can't cope cause they are used to being selfish and then of course they have such a risk of having a child with down syndrome - you know etc etc etc.,..... you can fill in the rest.

She used to be a childcare worker and seems to think she knows what is best for children.

I felt like telling her I was in my 30's when I had my children and "ended up with a disabled child" ( to use her words) - through choice but I thought I might write to the head of Mary Kay in Aus and say how disappointed I was in this behaviour. This woman has not met dd1 as she was at kindy the first time she came... even so - she has no idea of people's lives and she is going on like that disparaging and criticising people's life choices.....

Baka - there are some doctors in a hospital that dh and I know about who call people with cystic fibrosis - cystics!!!!

[emmalou78]

Thats unreal.., better then our GP asking ds2 if he'd 'lost all his words today'

[anniebear]

sphil

that is so funny (but very rude)

Had to laugh though

sad thing is, all my friends and family would agree !!!

[anniebear]

slight change of subject

Is Downs not a nice word to use?

sorry if I sound ignorant

Only I went to a SN toy library for over 3 years and on a Thursday a lot of Down Syndrome Children went,

their Mums actually refer to it as the 'downs' group

That is the mums with the Down Syndrom Children
With them using it themselves, I would never have thought of it as something not nice to say???

[anniebear]

in case I get shouted at!!!!

can I just add, that I never reffered to it as that!!!!

[eidsvold]

in the UK our physio/ot used to call our little therapy group the down's baby group - I didn't I referred to it as the group for babies with down syndrome. SImply because for me - they are people first and just happen to have this condition which is a part of them but does not define them iyswim.

[Thomcat]

Edisvold, so nice to see your name and hreat that the first post I have read in a while amde me laugh. Ohhhhhhhhhhh some people. Better to laugh than to cry aye!

[eidsvold]

my friend's son is gorgeous and she keeps reminding me she has dd1 earmarked as a potential daughter in law

[Thomcat]

[misdee]

thomcat, what did you call your little dd2 in the end?

[eidsvold]

hijack too - glad to see you here on mn - hope all is well with your two babes... had posted some pics of my two but have taken them down - can put them back if you want.

[Thomcat]

Hi Misdee - she's an Eve.

Edisvold - do you hav e to ask?!! Yes pleeeeaseeeeeeeeeeee

[Heathcliffscathy]

yo thomcat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

[Thomcat]

MY girl Soph! Yes YES. Alright mate XXXXX

[eidsvold]

okay TC - sorry had to go out for a bit - here are the links to the dds.

\link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=1700&threadid=154612&stamp=060313093017\dd1}

\link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=1700&threadid=154613&stamp=060313093052\dd2}

[JakB]

Eidsvold and gorgeous pictures!
My favourite, I'm sure I've mentioned it before, is when DD's ENT consultant asked us if DD was a 'little bit' autistic!

[KarenThirl]

What beautiful girls! You're very lucky - but you knew that already!