Is my lovely affectionate DS turning into an aggressive nightmare??!

[CreepyJess]

DS has always been so affectionate. His social abilities have always been his main strength. He was occasionally a bit 'rough' (esp. with his siblings) but that was mainly down to his lack of coordination.

Today his home/school book has a message in it to the effect of '..bad day today I'm afraid.. Alex has been kicking and punching/hurting other children and finding it funny.. has been in a awkward mood all day..'

We NEVER had any messages like this is YR.. but then he only started Epilim in June and I suppose the mildly aggressive behaviour has co-incided with him starting on that if I think about it. But it hasn't been a BIG problem at home.. we have been coping with it fairly well and it has has been lessening. His 1-1 said he did it a couple of weeks ago but we had words with him and it stopped.

I hate him coming home with such a negative message in his book when it's always been full of such positive feedback. I know she has to write it as it is.. and hurting other children is no small issue and needs dealing with.. but I am wondering whether she hasn't bonded with him like like year's 1-1.. or whether I am just being stupid about this.. I mean I can't expect him to just have one 1-1 his who school 'career' just because I like that particular one and know she likes Alex!

Alex has always been known for his sunny loving nature depsite his physical and learning difficulties.. and academically this year he has already been doing great things.. but now ( and I admit) I am panicking thinking that they will be telling me that mainstream is not working out after all.. etc etc. Not that special school would be a bad thing - we have always been prepared to play it by ear, but I really don't want him to have to leave due to aggressive behaviour.. not when he has been coping in mainstream in all other respects.

And I also admit that I keep thinking his old 1-1/teacher team could have handled this better.

Any wise words (please)?

SJ/CJ xx

[CreepyJess]

Anyone? Any input at all re aggressive behaviour? (You can ignore my drivelling shit re 1-1 issues if you like!)

[SoBlue]

No wise words as i have similar dilema, ds very attached to his old 1-1 and he doesn't seem to like the new one that much and she's stricter (not so tolerant).This has increased his aggresive behaviour a little. Don't know the answer unfortunately but hoping it will dwindle as their relationship builds.

[JakBat]

Sorry to hear this. I know what you mean about the home/school book, it's like getting a school report every day and upsetting if it's negative. I don't know enough about Epilim but certainly that could be a contributory factor? Maybe the 1:1 is inadvertently triggering the behaviour? Or maybe as he's taking so much on academically and doing really well he's letting off steam? Sorry if these are crap suggestions! I must admit though, that message sounds a bit badly worded. 'Awkward' is a negative word and if it's really that big a deal I think she should have called you. Can you go in and observe a morning at school?

[CreepyJess]

Thanks JakBat and SoBlue.. JB those are not crap suggestions... they are sensible. However, this evening DS has become poorly... his mild cough has got worse and he is now running a temperature so maybe he was not feeling right at school today.

Yes I agree about the word 'awkward' and thanks for understanding about the home/school book thing.. it is like a mini-report every day and negative comments (although rare) really stress me out. Perhaps she will be a bit more understanding when I phone in sick for him in the morning!

CJ x

[SoBlue]

I will eagerly await this home/shool work book thing then lol! Might be suprised and see something good.

[SoBlue]

Being ill does make them irratable, hard when they can't tell you. Hope DS feels better soon x

[LadyFioOfTipton]

FWIW dd also started being like this last year and it is only at school mainly, she is usually ok at school. They think she isnt tolerating other children and is hitting out because she doesnt want them near her. personally, I think it is because she is defensive because she thinks they will hurt her (posesive mum syndrome) But after talking to the other mums it seems alot of the children are havinf similar sorts of 'issues'. i think maybe it is because emotionally and developmentally they delayed and they are most probably having their terrible twos 'late' iykwim