Motivating asd child???

[CardyMow]

HOW do I get my 11yo DD to understand homework deadlines, and motivate her to do the work? The other confusing thing is that at primary, Maths and english were the hardest to get her to do, now it's her French and bloody history project about Marco Polo that she was given in september, wasn't told to me until 2nd Dec and was due in on the 4th...AND why is it, no matter how many times I tell her head of year that if her teachers write her homework in her diary, I will understand what she's to do and be able to help her, only 2 teachers bother (her maths and english teachers...). If she's left to write it in, I often get 'do homework' written in the diary with no clue as to what homework, or even which subject??!! She's got LD and ASD, she's not gonna manage it on her own

[Goblinchild]

You need to sort the school before you can sort the child.
So get a meeting with the SENCO and your daughter's form tutor and get some written agreements organised that all the teachers comply with. Homework to be written down with deadlines for you to follow up.
I have email and telephone communication with school, plus visits and meetings.
When you've kicked the school into a routine, you can then work with your daughter on coping with it. It's a lot of relentless effort, but worth it in the long and short term.

[CardyMow]

I try but Senco has to teach and can only see me at 2.30 in afternoon, right when I have to pick up DS1 & DS2 from primary, and DS2 WILL NOT leave school with anyone except me, not his dad, not his grandparents, not my friends, he goes into meltdown, hugging the table legs, just not possible for anyone else to pick him up, it changes HIS routine too much (OH the joys of having 2 ASD kids...), I'm finding it impossible as a single parent to deal with booking appointments with a constantly busy SenCo, to try to deal with my asd DD's needs, whilst also being able to pick up ASD DS2 and deal with his needs, there's only me to go around....

[gigglewitch]

have just read everything - does your dd have classroom support?

[momijigari]

Could you keep ds off school/collect him earlier and take him to the meeting?

Can you arrange a telephone appointment and address the issues re hw?

Can you arrange to see anyone other than the senco to discuss the issues?

Is there anyone else, including friends/relatives who may be able to be your dd's advocate at school re homework?

[Goblinchild]

Then the SENCO must get cover for the class she teaches so she can see you for a reasonable amount of time at a time that suits you.
We do it all the time, do you think the PALM/EP/SALT meetings and such that she must have with important, professional people
all take place at 2.30 because she can only be freed at that time?
Start being stubborn and vocal.

[CardyMow]

Think I'll have to be more vocal. Primary school won't let me collect my DS's early ('too disruptive'). I've no relatives to help. No my daughter doesn't have 'extra help' in every lesson, she gets one lesson a day in the 'learning zone' (when she remembers she's meant to go there that is!), she's on school action plus, has been since 3 1/2, tried twice to get her statemented, but her primary school 1) refused to back my application and 2) actually lied to prevent her from showing the boundaries needed for statement (it's been proven, as she wouldn't have slipped back from lvl 3 to p scales in the 3 months from when the school said she was working on lvl 3 til she was (finally after 5 yrs of me begging the senco) assessed by the EP who said she was still working on p scales...she was only seen twice by the EP in ALL her time at primary, from the age of 3 and a half until she was 11 and a half, despite me having 2 reports that states she should be seen every 6 months. SenCo has to put the child forward, if she don't then EP CAN'T see, SenCo was refusing for 5 years...so the secondary don't REALLY know how bad she really is. I think I'm just gonna have to split myself in 2 and try to be a bit more pro-active on this.

[CardyMow]

Think I'll have to be more vocal. Primary school won't let me collect my DS's early ('too disruptive'). I've no relatives to help. No my daughter doesn't have 'extra help' in every lesson, she gets one lesson a day in the 'learning zone' (when she remembers she's meant to go there that is!), she's on school action plus, has been since 3 1/2, tried twice to get her statemented, but her primary school 1) refused to back my application and 2) actually lied to prevent her from showing the boundaries needed for statement it's been proven, as she wouldn't have slipped back from lvl 3 to p scales in the 3 months from when the school said she was working on lvl 3 til she was (finally after 5 yrs of me begging the senco) assessed by the EP who said she was still working on p scales...she was only seen twice by the EP in ALL her time at primary, from the age of 3 and a half until she was 11 and a half, despite me having 2 reports that states she should be seen every 6 months. SenCo has to put the child forward, if she don't then EP CAN'T see, SenCo was refusing for 5 years...so the secondary don't REALLY know how bad she really is. I think I'm just gonna have to split myself in 2 and try to be a bit more pro-active on this.

[VirginPeachyMotherOfSpod]

Homework is a nightmare for asd kids- aftr all school is work, home isn't...is it?

The as unit we'relooking at doesn'teven consider homework until GCSE yeras. And wedon't consider it ehre because the results are nasty

SENCO must get PPA time scheduled, so she can do it, she dopesn't want to

A lot of what you are being told doesn't add up LL. not unsual, like you we werelied to as well. I would suggest a chat with SOS!SEN though (google) to get their take on it all,and make a complaint to the LEA about the SNCO's lack of availability. Then write about every tiny thing to them, and keep copies of it to use as evidence in a future statement application.

[CardyMow]

Thank you, I'll try that, IPSEA aren't interested and neither were oh god, there was someone else as well, can't remember who. I wouldn't mind, she does do the homework if I help her with it (for the first time, H/W at primary resulted in meltdown after meltdown it was given up on in Y3). I think as she sees all her friends do it, she knows it's expected, but if I don't know what she's meant to be doing and she can't remember, then I can't help her with it lol. Secondary SenCo doesn't want to help as she's a family friend of the primary SenCo (her child's godmother or something) and to give my DD extra help would prove that primary SenCo wasn't being truthful about my DD's abilities....TBH I was going to give it a full term at secondary, then re-apply for a statement again anyway, it'll be that time of yr again lol, and the school will have a very good idea (whether they wish to admit it or not) of how far behind the rest of her yr group my daughter is. Just wish it wasn't all such a blimmin fist fight to get the help your DC's need....gets exhausting after 8 yrs of fighting the LA with 2 SEN kids out of 3...

[VirginPeachyMotherOfSpod]

I know LL_ I have 2 with SN,one with SEN and an inkling the baby might be an Aspie.

I'm sure you;ve tried the route but BIBIC? I found their assesments massively useful in getting the statements and DX's.

We have nepotism issues with our old SENCO and it sucks. Good luck.

[CardyMow]

My local LA is apparently (to all SN mums I've spoken to, anyway) completely rubbish, unless your DC has behavioural problems that disrupt the class, you get squad all help. My DD just sits quietly NOT learning, so they do nothing cos it costs too much. I hate Essex.

[VirginPeachyMotherOfSpod]

That's fairly normal though sadly LL, i've not yet met an LEAthat will happily statement a child unless they are an active issue for them.

Beleive it or not, it wasn't until the school hinted they needed fencing to keep ds3 safe that we had an SNU place offer: becuase you see the fence as well aslong encircled an area of special interest (our school has an odd location), and would cost a fortune as ahd to be amde of willow IIRC.

they never said that was why they moved then, but you know......

I really would look at BIBIC: they produce reams of paperwork and goes such a long way to prove what you are asking for is needed.

[Inkpen]

Hi. We also had exactly this problem. From my experience - you need one person at the school who will take on this problem. If form tutor/HoY won't help, then go up a level of authority (KS3 Lead Tutor in our case) and up again if necessary. Our Learning Support provided a laminated sheet saying, 'Please write down the homework for X'. If they don't - can you do one and get your dd to show it? Better with a SENCO's name on it, though.
In the short term, if you don't have info on h/w, then I would simply return planner/exercise book with a note stating that your DD couldn't do it and why. Keep notes. I suspect this is more likely to show up on the school's radar. At each meeting I had last year, we were told my ds had no problem with h/w because he had no 'consequences' - and I kept saying, 'That's because he has one-to-one support from me every night'! Just this w/e, I forgot to check his bag and today he had two homework marks and a consequence for forgetting to hand in two bits of h/w and an exercise book ... but he is a heck of a lot better than last year! Good luck.

[CardyMow]

They automatically get a detention for every piece of H/W that isn't handed in on time. And for being even 2 mins late to a lesson (she gets lost a lot, map-reading isn't one of her better skills..). She even got a DT for not handing in a bit of HW when she was off sick...PLUS they automatically get DT for forgetting their PE kit, and today she got a DT for not having shorts for indoor PE (in a cold hall with no heating, when she has a heart problem that causes circulatory issues leaving her vulnerable to hypothermia, I'D packed her tracksuit trousers). I AM phoning her head of YR tomorrow to sort that one out, the school know of her medical issues...

[Goblinchild]

Go for it, be a pro-active pain-in-the-bum parent who knows what your child's needs are and is prepared to back them up.
If you become a consistently high profile parent, it is surprising how much better teachers' memories become.

[Inkpen]

LL - I'm probably telling you something you know already as you're obviously experienced in this whereas it's all a bit new to me ... but have you been onto your school's website? I have only just discovered my ds's school's SEN policy on their site and reading that has been enlightening. I have highlighted all the stuff they promise which hasn't been done and I'm taking that with me to the next meeting. Any SEN policy should surely cover exactly the stuff you're talking about.

[CardyMow]

Yeah, at least the secondary actaully publish it on t'interweb, her primary I had to actually send them a solicitors letter just to get to look at it....Just seems like I'm constantly having to remind most of the teachers every week about it all, and we had plenty of meetings about her additional needs before she started...There are two teachers who are excellent, and guess what...it's those 2 lessons that she always does her homework and has never had DT from, as those 2 teachers cut her a bit of slack for getting lost, and they write her HW in her diary for me. Shockingly enough, those are the 2 subjects that she is actually improving in...Hmmmm, wonder why?

[CardyMow]

Well, hust before the holidays, I saw her head of year,who had said that her sen file was 'patchy' (and made a comment about how it wasn't the only one from that particular primary to be like that) and didn't include all the information that they obviously should. She has booked an appointment for me to see the SenCo & LSA on 6th January. Has anyone got any advice for me. I know I need to get across about her ASD, and the difficulties it causes, her hearing loss, her heart problems and her difficulties due to her GDD/MLD. Anyone got any advice on what I would be reasonable in asking them to do for my DD? (who is on SA+ ATM,has been for 8 yrs, but am looking to test the waters on how the SenCo feels about me trying for a statement...)

[CardyMow]

OOps, forgot to mention her epilepsy as well, which seems to be getting worse due to the keppra not being enough, that should be sorted mid-jan when she sees the neuro though, but the meds DO make her 'dopey' after an increase...