Dyslexia - DD HATES school (yr2)

[lambethma]

Am peed off.
DD is bright, physically active, bubbly (when not at school), v creative and loving but becomes withdrawn, depressed anxious bundle of nerves from Sunday lunchtime to Friday pick-up.
Have seen SENCO but this has been going on for over a year now and her writing is terrible, illegible far and away from what's in her head and her spoken ideas and vocabulary... she states over and over again that she HATES writing and hates phonics and is always in trouble with her phonics teacher even though she is really trying.
She's been called lazy and says she hates herself.
I think she's dyslexic but the ed psych is going through a 'procedure' which is taking months to determine why she doesn't like coming to school. Is this normal - does anyone else have experience of this?
I just feel like I'm being fobbed off and I am sick of dragging my miserable child into school every morning. Her behaviour at school is fine as she's compliant - She zones out in class, but I feel like school is destroying her.

[crystal85]

OMG Hun I hate hearing story's like this! I'm dyslexic but didn't find out until 17 as school not only didn't want to pay for the test they didn't want to pay for additional support either!
And I can't do phonics to save my life so she's not alone!
You can privately have her tested it's about 6 hours in total and gives a final report which will say the out come and what help is needed.
Also to help her there is tons of stuff on amazon for her to try see if helps in the mean time like u can get coloured writing books and paper. Or maybe start of with a mixed pack of dyslexic rulers which she can put over things she's reading she if any colour make it easier.
With ideas try getting her to brainstom them in like a spider diagram allowing her to be as colourful as possible etc.
if she's stuggling to learn whilst listening she needs to fiddle I know this sounds simple but works so a little ball in her pocket she can roll between her fingers keeps her from drifting in to her own world.
Plus any words she needs to learn for spelling test try making songs or pointing out bits in them here's a few I still use at age 29.
FRIEND End at the end of friend
BECAUSE big elephants can't always use small exits
ACCOMMODATION a double c o double m o d a t ion.

Good luck xx

[Jonnyb114]

My Mum specialises in dyslexia this is her website

www.patconley.co.uk/index.html

[Tissie]

No matter what may or may not be at the root of your child's difficulty it is clear you cannot put up with this any more. Can you move schools? Are you at home during the day - if so consider taking her out of school. Educational Psychologist private assessments can cost between £250 and £350 but some well qualified specialist teachers can provide a detailed assessment for much less. I have just completed one for a a boy 7yrs. I am in the services section (tutors special needs) and am happy to chat to you - no cost - if you want to contact me.

[ilovesushi]

Hi Lambethma

I can really relate to your situation and would whole-heartedly recommend getting your DD tested by an educational psychologist privately and not wait for the school to take action. We paid just over £500 to see an EP and around £200 for an occupational therapy assessment and I would say every penny was well spent. Just to add we don't have that sort of money at our finger tips so I don't make the recommendation lightly.

My son is in Y2 and was very unhappy and stressed at school and would get tearful at the mere mention of writing. His self esteem was really low and looking back I think he was actually depressed which is pretty shocking in a 5 / 6 year old! I pushed really hard for the school to do a dyslexia screening test as I needed a convincing explanation for why my very bright child could not read or write at all. They did the test and said he wasn't even borderline dyslexic but could offer me no good reason for his lack of ability. I did not accept their take which was he didn't want to learn!

A very thorough assessment by an EP threw up not only severe dyslexia but several other learning disabilities. I found having a diagnosis such a relief as it meant I could take action and get the school to take my son's needs seriously. Very importantly I could also explain to my son that he definitely was not stupid, but his brain was wired in a special way that made him amazingly good at lots of things but made writing tricky.

I remember the EP telling me that phonics works on about 95% of the population but my son was not one of them and needed a top down whole sentence approach. She basically demanded he be put on the top reading level (cue huge resistance from school!) and choose his own books based on personal interest not reading ability. We do paired reading (you read in unison) or tracking (I read and he follows with his eyes) not decoding with phonics. He has gone from struggling to read two letter words to enjoying famous five books, which he reads with help from me.

His school are pretty rubbish at dealing with SEN issues so it's not a perfect happy ending but I am much more informed and in a stronger position to fight his corner.

Good luck!

[Tissie]

Agree with everything ilovesushi has said. Her costing for EP assessment is more up to date then mine.

[Lonecatwithkitten]

I have come to this a bit late, but have a similar experience of clearly bright DD struggling and being told off for not pushing herself.
I arranged a meeting with SENCO class teacher, head of key stage and headteacher. I pointed out that this was the attitude of the 1970s.
This immediately brought an awful lot of blustering from the SENCO of course that wasn't the case, but ultimately things have been better.
Girls are very good at academically beating themselves up they don't need teachers helping them.