ADD - I'm not sure, but think my DD might have it

[Glassofwine]

I've been worried about my dd aged 7 for about a year now. Most people who know her wouldn't notice anything wrong, but as her mum I think she has a real problem concentrating. It's difficult to tell if there is diagnosable problem or if this is just her personality. She is quite bright, her reading is good, her maths is good - she got 2 a's & b's in the sats last year. However her handwriting and spelling are really bad and in general she cannot concentrate and is very easily distracted, but particularly when she has literacy homework. She doesn't seem to be able to aborb any reqests to do anything ie. this morning I asked her to brush her teath and then come downstair to put her shoes on - you could tell it just didn't even go into her brain.

I have talked to her new teacher about it and she said she'd noticed it too and was going to raise it with me - so at least I'm not imagning it. The problem is she is the youngest in her class and only moved to this school last year, moving from the highest groups in the previous school to the lowest in this one. She realises she's in the bottom groups and it's knocked her confidence. She also haddn't learnt cursive writing in the previous school and all her classmates in this one could write joined up, so again she felt she was lacking.

i just don't know if she's developmentally a bit behind and this is just her personality (dh is a daydreamer too) or if there is a concentration ADD type problem. she is not hyperactive or 'difficult' in fact very sweet and caring. What does anyone else think?

[LIZS]

Could be Dyspraxia - sequencing difficulties, handwriting problems, distractibility sound similar to ds for whom we await a formal diagnosis. Have a look here and see if anythign else sounds familiar. Your gp or teacher/SENCO could refer to a paediatrician or Educational Psychologist for assessment if that is a route you decide to go down.

Good luck

[Glassofwine]

mmm have looked there, she only displays a few of the symptoms so I don't think its dyspraxia.

[MrsApronstrings]

she sounds very like my dd- who is 10 now and has adhd and a learning difficulty. Initially she was diagnosed with dyslexia - but this didn't really fit because she has always been a fantastic reader. I would recommend a book called Dreamer, dicscoverers and Dynamos. Our daughter is a dreamer - when we first read it we couldn'r believe how much like our daughter the discriptive stuff sounded. We resisted the intitial suggestions that she had adhd - but it can be very different in girls that in boys - and our dd is not the stereotypical wild child. I don't know what else to say - please ask questions I think sometimes specifics are easier to answer or you can cat me if you like. Your daughter is typically the age where this would start to be noticeable and would be picked up.

[MrsApronstrings]

Have to go out for a couple of hours - will check back later

[gigglinggoblin]

ds1s last teacher was convinced he had add, a friend of mine (who actually knew what she was talking about) assessed him as having aspergers. problem was that all asd kids are so different school refused to accept this as they kept finding things which were not typical and clinging onto that while ignoring the huge amount of evidence saying that was the problem. i had never heard of it before i was told but it did make a massive amount of sense when i started reading up it. his teacher ticked every box for add but this was only when he was having a bad day, on a good day none of the criteria applied to him. the nas website is very good and i read a book called martian in the playground (very easy to read, got it from the library) which explained a lot.

im afraid im still learning so cant answer many questions on the topic but thought i would mention it as we spent so long wasting our time thinking it was add and now we know things are so much easier.

[MrsApronstrings]

cat 64 why did you have your head bitten off?

I think there is surprisingly little discussion about adhd on mumsnet

[Glassofwine]

Thank you all for your responses, I've been look things up on the net. I don't think she has aspergers as doesn't fit most of the points I've seen ie. she's very empathetic, loves imaginative play, makes friends easily, no repetative behaviour etc.

However I am increasingly interested in the differences in ADD for girls - there's almost too much information on the net, does anyone know of a straight forward questionair type thing. Mrs Apronstrings, I am interested to hear about your dd - are there some things that she is able to concentrate on? My DD loves art and will spend huge amounts of time making Hamma bead pictures, or drawing/painting etc - if you saw her doing that you'd wonder what on earth I'm worrying about.

The parts that I've seen that fit our picture are that she often has problems getting to sleep at night, although you would not call her hyper in any way, in fact we often think she's a bit lazy (would never say it) her fav way to spend the day is to stay in pj's. She often doesn't respond when called, she dawdles, is easily sidetracked and looses things often, forgets things often. ie. left homework at school again for the 3 time in a row (not to get out of it - too conformist).

I just don't know if this is a developmental thing or ADD, but am really worried for her.

[MrsApronstrings]

my dd has adhd - properly diagnosed - spent two days with an educational psychologist, We have been told by a pediarician, psychologist, and psychiatrist that they all feel this is a 'safe' diagnosis - no-one is in doubt. She has had a statement for about 18 months.

DD gets As and Bs at school - sometimes one C. At 9 her reading age was 17. She can sit and concentrate on a book that interests her for an hour and a half - sitting still and quiet -( this does not rule out adhd - in fact adhd children often have a subject or activity that they are preoccupied or somewhat obsessive about.) she is not disruptive, naughty or willfully disobedient - basically ever.

BUT she has great difficulty staying on task, forgets thngs and loses things ALL THE TIME - make no mistake this is not like your average somewhat disorganised 10 yr old. Homework doesn't get handed in, instrument gets lost, the book gets lost, the reeds get lost, she forgets to go to the lesson etc- and she plays because she wants to. My daughter's spelling is really bad - at the end of a week of practising words am snd night at home she might well say to me on a friday morning - those arent the words this week!!! Her writing is very bad - she has trouble sizing and spacing letters - so much so that she uses an Alphasmart(mini wordprocesser) a lot of the time in school.

I hope I aam giving you a flavour of what she is like. we resisted the diagnosis to start with - she didn't seem to fit with what we thought of as adhd - but here we are

[Glassofwine]

Mrs Apronstrings there are a lot of similarities then. DD's teacher last year (2) hadn't noticed anything and obviously thought I was a pushy mother, luckily this years teacher is much more with it and already noticed. We have agreed that she's going to keep an eye on her for the next couple of weeks and then talk again. I guess the problem is that ADHD is generally thought of as a problem for naughty boys.

how do you help your dd? what about her future, is it something that gets easier with age?

thanks for taking an interest

[MrsApronstrings]

in yr 1 dd's teacher apent the year saying she was immature and very young. I approached dd's teacher in yr2 and basically said - she is really odd- not like other children what do you think...she said She was really worried. it prbably took 18 months from there to get a diagnosis and the best part of a year from then till we actually got the statemnet. We resisted medication to start with but were eventually convinced we should try them - being told this was a real condition and not doing so is like refusing to allow your child any other type of medicine - you wouldn't refuse to allow your child heart meds if three doctors said she needed them...

Anyway - for us they did not provide the miracle answer you might hope for - the ed psych describes my daughters adhd as 'partially managed'
They also desribe the writing issue as a specific learning difficulty - and say it is somewhat seperate from the adhd. She has her statement because her iq was shown to be very high - and very discrepant with what she could produce on the written page. In someways as she gets older the dofferences btwn her and her class mates becomes more rather than less obvious. But she is clever and has developed some strategies to help cope. she gets 50 mins a term of occupational therapy(don't over do it!!) and that has really helped her.

learning to play a keyboard is supposed to help, and'filling the house with classical music' was also recommended to us by the psychiatrist.

[Glassofwine]

Mrs Apronstrings - sorry to hear that it took so long, I'm begining to have a some sort of view of the road ahead. Can you tell me, all the help you've had, does that come from the school or you or doctor - how does it work?

I agree about the meds by the way - have recently had a similar conversation about depression and ad's.

It would be so lovely to think that my dd is just a bit young for her age, but too many of these symptoms add up. I think I'll wait untill parents eve in three weeks and give her teacher the time she wanted to keep an eye, but do you have any advice with regard to questions to ask etc?

[Glassofwine]

Interestingly DD has shown an interest in learning to play keyboard, so will get to work on that one straight away.

[Kaz33]

I definitely have issues with my DS1 who is just turned 5 and has just started year 1.

I think people think I am a bit mad, as he is a bright, chatty soul. But he has huge concentration issues, can be randomnly violent, has problems turning off and sleeping. The best way i have to describe it is that he is not comfortable in his own skin.

I have just started him with something called kiniesology and an organisation called the Sunflower Trust - who have lots of success with kids with learning difficulties. It is hard to describe but it is a holistic form of treatment that deals with the whole person.

So far we have dealt with in two sessions:
structural issues ie: are all the muscles of the body working correctly
neurological functions ie: are you shutting down when you go to sleep and therefore getting a proper rest
the way the parts of the brain talk to each other ie: the connections between the right and left hand sides

I would say DS1 has calmed down a lot, is sleeping better and has more energy. We have been given some excerises to do relating to the two sides of the brain.

As you can see I am a believer, both DH and I have undergone treatment for back issues which has worked.

[Glassofwine]

Kaz33 - I've also googled them and they are not too far from me. Did you self refer, pay privately or where you referred?

[MrsApronstrings]

cat64 thanks for answering - I know exactly where you are coming from - I have def. seen this. Interestingly I am a former teacher and SENCO - so we have more than one thing in common - I knew my daughter had some issues- and basically knew she was bright but couldn't work out why things were as they were - I was shocked when ADHD was suggested as a diagnosis.

GlassofWine - I am reading this through with dh we are discussing our thoughst about the process of getting help with dd - I will answer your questions in a considered way tomorrow if thats ok.

[Kaz33]

We pay privately and it is not cheap - £88 for a fourty minute session. The therapist says that it is impossible to predict how many sessions it will take but as an average predicts 10 sessions spread out over a full school year. At the start you go every week or fortnight, but it becomes more spread out as you progress.

Saying that DS1 is moving very quickly so we did two sessions in one IFSWIM.

[Glassofwine]

Gosh Kaz - that is a lot, I guess if I knew for sure it would help, then I'd find the money somehow.

DH didn't react too well when I tried to talk to him about it last night, partly because he doesn't see that there is a problem. He works long hours and so mostly see's the children at the weekend when there are less must do activities iFSWIM. He was very defensive, saying she's a happy bright child who daydreams a lot. I think he thinks I've got myself a hobbyhorse and am going to charge off on it. I had to explain to him that I don't want there to be a diagnosable problem, but I want to know if there is so we can help. I think he understood in the end, or maybe just said it to shut me up

[MrsApronstrings]

Hi
School told us to take dd to the doctor to start the process of diagnosis - the doctor gave everyone forms, evaluated them and made a diagnosis - however pretty quickly she said DD needed to see a psychiatrist and gave us a referral - the psych. gave everyone the forms again and came up with the saem conclusions. School put her on an iep and we went to various meetings before it was agreed they would get the ed psych in. The school led the precess.

I would suggest that if you really think there is a problem you get school to formally recognise this. give her an iep etc - I think it is still true that you need to do two terms at stage one before the school can bring in other agencies/help - although I may be out of date telling you that.
One thing the psychiatrist told us was to really work at keeping the stress level down for your dd in the mornings. Asking a child to clean their teeth 17 times is very maddening - but apparently when there is shouting etc it causes the production of cortisol - a stress hormone and can leave your childs levels raised all day - setting them up for a bad day at school. Also when at the same age as your daughter we were advised to help as much as possible - to help with packing school bag, getting ready etc - because it was beyond our dd to manage(we are now in the process of making her more independent)

[Kaz33]

Glassofwine - I think you know if something is not quite right. And, I think it is possible for kids to have some issues that are fine for lots of the time but as soon as they are put under stress flare up.

My favourite analogy is that we are after all machines and if something is not operating correctly then other parts of our body step in to compensate.

I am not expecting my child to change over night. I am hoping that this "health check" will give him the ability to access other areas of his life/ personality with more confidence. Also give to us as parents the skills to deal with him more confidently, he is always going to have the same personality traits.

[Glassofwine]

I'm doubting myself today, she's been great with lots of encouragement finished off her maths homework and did more than she was asked to do, didn't get it all right - but not too bad. I asked her this morning to remember her homework and reading book (nearly always forgets and has to be reminded) told her she'd get a pasta in her jar (MN incentive thing). When I collected her from school the first thing she said was I've remembered my homework - oops forgotten my book and went off to get it. Maybe I just need to pay more attention to helping her - I don't know if that's just wishfull thinking.

I think I'll wait to have another chat with her teacher at parents eve in a couple of weeks, as agreed and try not to worry just yet. Do either of you have any advice to things I can do at home? She already has fish oils.