can't switch off to sleep

[jemmalou]

is there anyone who finds it impossible to sleep even when their baby is asleep?

i am so exahusted i thought i would pass out at any available opportunity but i can't seem to switch off enough to fall asleep. i can never sleep when my 3 wk old is asleep during the day and find it takes me ages to drop off after night feeds.

part of the problem may be that by the time i have changed, fed, burped and settled her i have about 1.5 hours until the cycle commences again so i am stressing about having to get some sleep in this time which only keeps me wired and awake.

i don't drink coffee/tea and have tried camomile tea, lavendar drops etc to relax me but nothing seems to work. any advice?

[There]

I can only sympathise. I am the world's worst sleeper and was told once the baby was born I would be sooooo tired I would fall asleep between feeds, but the stress of knowing your sleep is limited means you don't fall asleep. The worst is when they start sleeping through, that long-awaited moment, and you still can't sleep.

I count back from 100 and concentrate on the numbers to make sure any other thoughts don't creep in. Sometimes I have to do it in all the languages I know and it still doesn't work, but sometimes it works.

I also found that a long relaxing bath before bed-time seems to help, rather than rushing to bed in the hope you'll catch an extra half hour's sleep.

[oneplusone]

jemmalou, i can only sympathise, i had exactly the same problem with my first DC. Everyone told me to sleep when the baby slept but i was way too stressed out to sleep.

It was only when i had my second DC over 2 years later that i was able to sleep when he slept. I think by that time my body clock was so utterly messed up ie it no longer expected to sleep at night and be awake during the day that somehow i was able to sleep whenever i could snatch the time.

It is a big adjustment for your body to make to suddenly adapt to a completely new sleeping rythmn so perhaps instead of trying to sleep when baby sleep, why don't you just do something relaxing and restful instead? eg get in the bath and listen to some music, just lie on your bed and dream but don't try and get to sleep.

Good luck, it will get better, I promise

[gingerninja]

Absolutely at this stage. I was always on edge waiting for DD to wake and never felt relaxed. You will though with time (plenty of time!)

Are you breastfeeding? If so, how about you try and feed her laying down and try and doze as she does. You may find she doesn't get as windy if she feeds laying down and you can doze at the same time. Can you change her prior to the feed and only burp her if she's excessively windy.

Stay as horizonal as possible for a few days. It really doesn't matter if you don't even get out of bed. It won't be long before you won't have that luxury and then you'll wish you'd stayed in bed. Read a book, watch rubbish telly and curl up together on the bed to nap. You may find she sleeps better too if she can feel you next to her and you may feel more relaxed if you take the pressure off yourself.

[oneplusone]

i agree with ginger, i used to always feed laying down and it worked really well, i got to rest for a bit as well and i think it helped DS to sleep.

[jemmalou]

thanks so much to you all for your suggestions.

i guess i need to just concentrate on relaxing some other way. i'll try breastfeeding her lying down but i worry that i need to keep her upright during & after feeding as she seems to bring so much milk up but that's probably another thread...

can you guys sleep through their gurgles and coos?!

[sophus]

for me it took earplugs (best post birth purchase) and drugs - i still can't sleep if there is even a hint of DS being awake but as soon as he nods off i'm out like a light.
BF lying down is the best in the early days then you both drift off together.