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Ds 4 months not sleeping at night and cannot settle. Some help needed desperately!

14 replies

Nbg · 21/04/2008 09:29

Ok ds2 is now just over 4 months.
From 8 weeks he was sleeping through from about 8pm to 6am.
Great.

Then from about 14/15 weeks ish he started waking again.
I'd put it down to the famous 4 month growth spurt even if he was a bit young and possible hunger.

Well all these weeks on and its got worse and he's doing exactly what my ds1 did.
He's waking about every 40 mins ish through the night.
I feed him but he will either refuse it or have a little bit and nod off.
Most times he just wants to be held so I do this until he nods back off and then he goes back into his cot but then he's up again in less than an hour. This then continues through the night.

Its not like him at all. He's not a clingy baby. In fact he is very content, feeds well through the day and is just generally a happy baby.

Admittedly he isnt well atm with a chesty cough. We've all had it and sadly he was the last one to catch it but all this was going on before he was poorly.

Does anyone have any tips or advice?
I went through this only last year with ds1 and that was bad enough. I cant do it again.

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Nbg · 21/04/2008 09:56

.

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Nbg · 21/04/2008 11:18

desperate bump

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vicky11 · 21/04/2008 11:20

I find when my dd is poorly her sleep pattern goes out of the window. It's just one of those things that will hopefully improve as he gets better. You could try a really good feed when he first wakes and that might keep him going through the night. 4 mths is still very young and he might be hungry.

I sometimes give Calpol Night when dd is poorly, it helps her to sleep and gets her back into her routine. I try not to pick her up as it seems to wake her more. However she does end up with us sometimes!!!
(my dd is now 16 mths so Calpol Night is ok--check the label)

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Nbg · 21/04/2008 11:47

He has been waking before he was ill though.
Weeks before actually.

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weasle · 21/04/2008 16:03

hello, my 4mo has started waking every 30mins unless out in pram/car.

we have been co-sleeping as it is the only way i can get any sleep as i can feed half wake and nod off again. am tring to do the no cry sleep solution, but no luck so far.

does your ds fall asleep in your arms? maybe when he gets into lighter phase of sleep he is disorientated as now in the cot and then cannot self soothe.

i think the options probably are: co-sleep, leave him to cry, or try ncss ideas (which take time).

good luck, i know how you feel!

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mostlymay · 21/04/2008 16:09

Oh hurrah !! My DD is doing exactly the same thing!! I thought I was being a bad mother or something as she was doing so well only waking once a night for a feed now its every hour to hour and a half if I'm lucky. Sorry I have absolutely no solutions but at least you know you're not alone - not much help I'm afraid but lots of comfort for me

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MrsBadger · 21/04/2008 16:12

DD's sleep went haywire at 4m - NCSS made a huge difference but we are still cosleeping from about 1am cause I am too knackered to do NCSS techniques after midnight.

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puffylovett · 21/04/2008 23:31

mnaybe teething already ? DS cut first two teeth at 4.5/5 mths. Also is he on the verge of doing something developmental = that often throws their routines out because they wind up trying to roll / sit / stand in their sleep.

I would just keep perservering. I wound up co-sleeping with my 6 month old DS and at 14 mths we're still doing it. It was easier at the time, and I've loved doing it, but there have been times (of utter exhaustion when he's fed for the 5th time in the night) where I've really regretted it. Decide what your longterm sleep goal is and stick to a plan - if you want him to stay in his cot, have you tried shh patting him back to sleep and / or getting your DH to help out and doing the odd settle to give you a break ?

I really feel for you

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Nbg · 22/04/2008 08:14

Thank you for the replies

What is the NCSS about? I've heard people talk about it but dont actually know what you do.

Last night I bathed him before 7 with the aim to get him down at the same time as the dd and ds1.
He had a little feed and then nodded off whilst I was holding him so I took him up.
He then woke up as soon as laid him in his cot. I then had to pick him up twice and settle him before he went on his own.

In the night he woke just after half 11, he fed and fell asleep but again woke when laid down.
I decided to leave him to cry it out and he settled himself after 15 mins.
Might not have been the right way to do it but I had to do something!

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MrsBadger · 22/04/2008 08:41

NCSS

worth buying or borrowing (the no-cry refers to you as well as the baby )
mostly it's suggestions for building sleep associations that aren't linked to your boob...

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Nbg · 22/04/2008 09:05

I'm not even breast feeding though

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MrsBadger · 22/04/2008 09:49

all the same things apply though

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jkklpu · 23/04/2008 15:27

Oh to find sleep associations not linked to boobs. I feel for you, weasle, nbg and the others. My 6-m-o ds2 still feeds about 4 times/night, only going down after about 9.30pm, waking at about 11 for a ff, then again from2ish and regularly thereafter.

Feel a bit guilty, esp. vis-a-vis dh, that co-sleeping has been the only way to survive. Have no idea how we'll ever get him to go back to his own bed - he starts there when finally goes down but then wakes up if we try to put him back. Doesn't sleep much in the day either, except on my knee or in pram/sling. Have started taster weaning, but no difference so far on sleep patterns.

So different from ds1 who still loves being in bed - morning or evening - and chats, sings and plays quite happily for ages. My Mum says it's pay-back time for me as I didn't sleep through the night properly until I could read ....

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Nbg · 25/04/2008 09:58

I have started weaning. Not because I think it will help him sleep but because he's showing alot of signs and after I tried him, he actually really enjoys it. Plus he is almost 5 months.

Last night he woke at 10pm, 1:30am then 5:30am.
But he has started to drain bottles now so he must be hungry.

If there was a pattern of waking it wouldnt be so bad.

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