baby led weaning and sleep training.

[louise66]

Hi everyone. Ds is 8 mths. Was able to settle self to sleep until 4wks old when developed colic. Unfortunately we got into v bad habits to get him to sleep so as not to wake DS1 who'd just started school - ie driving round in car at 11pm at night, DH walking round the block with him in pram whilst I put older son to bed..At moment he's basically bf'ing self to sleep on my lap at night. Tried putting him down in cot/pram(which worked with older son a treat, at first anyway !!) but he wakes immediately and can't be comforted back to sleep, also tried bf'ing him in our bed but wakes after 10 mins with a jolt. Currently sleeping in bed downstairs with him as he wakes frequently if co sleeps with both of us and wakes 5- 6 times a night for a feed. I'm going back to work in 6 wks and will be expected to work nights some of time. I know very soon we will have to go down controlled crying route again as obviously dh won't be able to use bf'ing method ! (tried it 2 wks ago but sprouted 4 teeth at once so had to stop 1/2 way through.)Was partially successful in that slept for 30 mins in cot for 1st time in 7 mths !! Unfortunately he is just not eating enough during day. Have had to do baby led weaning with fingerfood as he's just not interested in spoon feeding/purees. Most of food ends up on floor plus he's very reluctant to sit in high chair for longer than 5 mins. Ds1 was on 3 good meals a day by this point so I felt more confident about sleep training, knowing he probably wasn't hungry at night. I am mid way through weaning him off breast during day - has 1 bottle formula mid afternoon.Just wondered if anyone could give advise or reassurance.Felt so much more confident with 2nd child at first but now it's just all gone to pot. Thanks Louise.

[krc]

Could you give him a bottle at night? At least you'd know he wasn't hungry and may be able to cut down his night feeds. I'm in similar situation, though not as bad - poor you. ds now waking 2 or 3 times only but needs bf. to settle and know he won't be able to have reliably when I'm back at work. Unfortunately he's refusing bottle, and is younger (only 5 months?). It's tough, isn't it? I feel quite cruel in a way, especially as he's so young still but think I have to get it sussed before childcare or it'd be a double whammy. Good luck

[jellybelly25]

There is something called the no cry sleep solution by Elisabeth Pantley that has advice on how to get them out of the habit of bfing to sleep (Pantley pull-off she calls it), and creating good sleep habits etc. i've seen a lot of people have been using it as an alternative to cc if they can't cope with cc, but it does take a bit longer.

We've been doing blw as well and I think it takes a while for most babies to really eat so dont' worry about that, as long as he gets milk during the day it will work itself out and in six weeks everything will be completely different as it is with babies!

When he naps during the day where does he nap? She was younger, but one of the things I did to try to get my dd (now 10mo) out of our bed (she'd been very ill and the only thing i could do was co-sleep and bf her ALL FLAMING NIGHT) was to try to get her into the cot for some naps during the day, they started off only lasting a few minutes but gradually got longer and I think it helped her to get used to sleeping in there again. HTH

ALthough right at this minute I am sitting next to the monitor and she is clearly not napping at all "BLAAAAAAAAH BLAAAAAAH MMMMM MMM!"

[naomi83]

i can't recommend the book healthy sleep habits, healthy child more strongly! its a huge read though, so often too much for sleep deprived parents, so here's a summery of main points:
always put baby in cot for naps
wake baby around 7, don't let them sleep in too long or they won't nap
put them down for first nap around 9 (earlier if sleepy signs are earlier), here's how:
soothe baby for 20mins or so in same way before each nap-reading, lullabies, bath, whatever until they are very chilled then dark slightly the room and put them down and leave them for an hour. yes. even if they cry. don't go in. i hated my DH when we tried this, but DS settled after 15mins the first time, and after 5 mins second time and slept for ages! just don't go in, however tempting! if baby doesn't sleep go get them after an hour and try again at 1, although most babies fall asleep well before an hour.
great, your baby got some sleep. now play until 12/12.30, and then soothe again, putting baby down before 1pm. same thing. leave them for up to an hour. great. baby is asleep-let them sleep as long as they need.
have a fun afternoon, playing feeding etc, and when baby starts to make tired signs (eye rubbing, ear tugging, yawning) soothe for bedtime. we do bath after dinner, grobag, bottle, story, bed, every night. whatever you like, but keep it consistent every night, whenever you see sleepy signs. this should be done between 6-8pm, don't let baby get too tired.
its amazing, and our grumpy son became gorge and we got our evenings back to be a couple! the best thing was, an earlier bed time meant a later wake up! bonus! only try this with babies 6 months or older. for babies 1-3 years do the same but without morning nap and earlier bedtime-6-7pm. good luck!