One year old gone from excellent sleeper to nightly waker - Help!!

[Nellstar]

Have woken up feeling like a zombie. My DS has just turned one. Before Christmas was an excellent sleeper (2 daytime naps and 7-7 at night). Christmas inevitably was full of excitement and changed environments and he's woken up every night basically since then. He's been ill a fair bit and I've comforted him lots in the night, and I think it's become a habit with him. Now we just lay him back down in the cot and pat his back, stroke his forehead till he's calm and walk out and go in ten seconds later, do the same, then add five seconds etc etc. He goes back to sleep after about 4 or 5 goes of these, but last night woke 4 times and I really can't handle it. We now go to bed at 9 just so we can get through the next day. I'm on the verge of trying CC, but it terrifies me having read Steve Biddulph, & Why Love Matters etc, but I really can't handle this and feel I'm a worse mother during the day for being completely shattered. DS is in a great mood and a complete smiley delight so doesn't seem overtired but I am! We used to do 2 naps - around 10am and 2pm, but am now finding his daytime naps difficult to time, he's not really tired till 4 hours after he wakes up, which is fine, but if he then does a late afternoon sleep as well he won't go to bed at 7/8. But if he doesn't do an afternoon nap he's very cranky. Sorry to be long winded and moany, I have friends whose babies wake 8 times in the night who seem to cope much better than me. He started walking 3 weeks ago, but I think I'm stretching the new skills, teething, colds excuses too far. Has anyone tried CC - is it hell, does it work? Or any other suggestions anyone?

[klover]

i tried cc with my dd, and it worked a treat. It is worth trying and for a few weeks it can be very stressful but it is worthwhile in the end. Babies can get into very bad habits, for instance they will very quickly realise if all they have to do id cry to get a cuddle and sleep with mum and dad they will do it. I started off by leaving my dd for at least 5minutes when they first wake up, just to make sure that they dont go back to sleep on their own. If after 5mins they are still awake go in and calm them down, give them a cuddle if needed and put them down again, tuck them in and leave the room for another 5mins. keep doing the same thing leaving them for 5minutes at a time, after a few days you can increase it to 6 or 7minutes. it is very hard at first but it will pay off in the end. with regards to naps in the day, try to get them down for a long sleep after lunch, if that doesn't work then just make sure no sleeping after about 4pm or they wont be tired enough for bed.

[Nellstar]

Thanks klover, will try this tonight I think. Feel utterly delirious. DH has just put both DS's legs in one dungaree trouser leg so think he's delirious too.

[JimJammum]

If it's any consolation, I think it's generally a period of change. My ds has also turned one and gone from 2 naps a day to sometimes two and sometimes one, he now wakes at 6 most days and if he's overtired he wakes in the night and can be up for 2-3 hours at a time crying until I can get him off again. I have friends who's little ones also suddenly became difficult sleepers at 1. It's the whole 2 to 1 naps, plus walking, teeth, nursery, growth spurt drama, and I think they find it all a bit much. Haven't done cc myself, as night waking not a problem (early ams are my issue - I can't function before 6.45am!!!). You have to do what's best for you - don't do it until you really can't go anymore, or you've tried everything else. There will always be people on here who think it's great as it worked for them, but it won't work for you if you've got doubts cos you'll just cave in. Do it at your own speed. Agree with the no sleep after 4pm, and try stretching your 10am by 10-15 mins each day and making it shorter until it's dropped altother and you are just having long sleep after lunch (at which point you go back to bed yourelf!!!) Hope your problems are "just a phase", same as mine!!

[hotbot]

htis happened to me too, agree lots of changes happen at this time, does your lo get a snack before bedtime, i noly ask because i statred too give dd a rusk and milk before bedding down and this seemed to help. i think she was teething and was having a growth spurt at the same time poor thing

[MaeWest]

DS dropped to 1 nap a day shortly after his birthday. It was a pain to start with trying to work out when to put him down, but gradually got him into an after lunch sleep. Some days he would have lunch as early as 11.30 and go down by 12noon.

He's now 18 months and goes in his cot pretty much on the dot of 1pm and sleeps anything from 90 mins to 3 hours . Which is odd as I was never a 'routine' person, just seemed to settle that way.

You have my sympathies on the night time sleep, as DS has never been great on this front. With sleep issues I would go for the technique that gets you the most sleep for now. We ended up having DS in bed with us for a while, I know some people don't think this is ideal, but it allowed me to get some sleep and pull myself together enough to think about other ways to tackle it.

Now we tend to go in, lie him down and give a quick shush and a pat, then out straight away. Sometimes he yells and I pop straight back in and lie him down again. It generally takes between 1 - 4 goes to get him back to sleep. However, if he's really not settling (like the past couple of nights - teeth, who knows ) we just 'give in' and take him into bed, easier all round.

Sorry, I'm rambling now (it's the sleep deprivation ) hope some of this helps.

[Surroundedbysnot]

Nellstar and JJ - snap! DD (11m) has started early / night waking since Xmas and will only have a morning nap now - imagine the hell of my afternoons .... she is so cross and tired.

I'm trying to push the morning nap back so she has one big middle of the day nap instead.

[pricklystar]

Thank you! Thought I was the only one with a 1 yr old who has transformed overnight from angelic,12-hr-a-night, 2 naps a day DD to screaming, overtired nightmare! No idea what's happening about daytime naps and nights are a mix of screaming until she's sick, thrashing around, really wired and playful with a bit of sleep thrown in. As you say, mixture of teeth, hungry, overtired, growth...... who knows. Please just let it be a phase!

[gem86]

my 13 month old has over the last week started to wake up at 3am, stood up at the end of her cot crying untill we go in. This has been such a shock as from being 3 months old she has slept most nights from 7.30-9/9.30 the next morning. This week she is waking at 3 being brought in bed with us after an hour of crying then waking up again at 7, i really am at a loss of what to do, our old routine was perfect and now she is cross and moody all day and wont have her nap utill 1 after getting up at 7

[Nellstar]

Feel bad that I haven't checked this for a few days, Thanks for all your helpful comments and commiserations to all those other tired mums out there. The good news is we braved cc - and it worked! Found another thread on mn where someone had suggested leaving lo for 2 mins, going in cuddling etc, then 4 mins and going in, then 6 mins, then 8 mins etc etc. Trying to reduce amount of cuddling time or just patting back as time progressed. We did this night one at about 1am and got to 10 mins. I was less distressed than I thought I would be because I was so darn shattered and the important thing for me was that he knew I was always going to come back. He fell asleep somewhere in the ten mins timing. The next night I did it when he went to bed at 7, got to 4 mins and he fell asleep and woke up at 7.15am!!! Amazing. The next night he must have cried for all of 30 seconds before falling asleep and slept til 7am and then last night til 6.40am. Feel normal and a much more fun mum as a consequence. I've pushed his morning nap til 10.30 or 11 depending on when he'll stretch to, he's going for 1 to 2 hours and has dropped the afternoon nap. I'll keep trying to push the lunchtime one further. Please god this will be our fourth nights sleep. Cannot tell you the difference it has made. He's all smiles in the morning so don't think it's damaged him. Good luck to all of you out there, agree that we can only do what we feel ready to do. I was just too gone and ready to try cc in a vaguely gentle form.