Anyone else's LO used to be a good sleeper and then regressed?

[mamadoc]

From 5-7 months DD used to sleep 7-7 no hassle at all and even before that only one wake up, quick bf and back down.
She is now just turned 10mo and is waking every 2hrs some nights. Plus sometimes she is awake for hours at a time.

Oh where did it all go wrong!

I hoped it was a phase and made all kinds of excuses; teething, developmental phase, separation anxiety, coughs and colds but now I'm beginning to think it will never get better.

We can't go out in the evenings any more as I don't feel its fair for a babysitter to have to try to settle her. I feel like we never have any fun anymore as we're always trying to catch up on sleep.

All the books seem to suggest its about teaching them to self settle but obviously she used to be able to do this. Did she somehow forget? Even now she will sometimes put herself back to sleep but then wake up properly later.

At the moment I have no strategy except to hope this will pass and that is wearing a bit thin. Usually if it is >3hrs since last feed I will feed her otherwise DH or I will rock her or if all else fails and completely knackered bring her in bed with us.

Anyone else been here and can offer me some hope/ideas?

[galina]

this happened with my ds around the same age and all we could do to settle him was to feed and feed and feed him (I remember giving him 5 full bottles one night!)- I think he was going through a growth spurt combined with being able to move around more
Sorry I can't help with any more advice, but he did settle down again for us and went back to 7-7 sleeps again after a few weeks.
Good luck!

[mamadoc]

Thanks galina perhaps there is hope?

I am very mixed up about whether to feed her or not.

On the one hand she is very small and not a good eater so I feel she could be hungry but surely not every 2hrs!

On the other hand the phrase rod for your own back is echoing round my head. ATM I'm just doing whatever to get through but after 3 months of it gradually getting worse and worse I'm wondering if I should be doing something to deal with it.

When she used to sleep through before we didn't have any kind of strategy it just happened so I was hoping the same would happen again.

[deezee]

My 8 month old is doing something similar. she is even waking between 7pm and 11pm (we still feed at 11) which she NEVER used to do. i thought it might be sep anx so have started putting her fluffy bunny against the bars of the cot, within arms reach. i read that little props like that can help 'replace' mum when they wake in a panic. not worked yet but only started two days ago! i am resisting feeding her as much as poss as agree about the rod for own back thang. i sent my hsbnd in last night (well, this am, 4,30) and that failed entirely as she associates him with playtime. one wide awake little girl. she only went back to sleep at 6 when I rocked and sang to her for 30 mins...Not sure what else to do!

[Natasha0307]

The same thing happened with my dd - she used to be such a good sleeper (12hrs in a stretch) but from about 8 months she started waking frequently and unfortunately at 11 months she is still waking frequently - have already been up once to put her down again.

She wakes up and either sits or stands and can't work out what she needs to do to go back to sleep. We have resorted to co-sleeping as generally we get more sleep that way and she only wakes a few times and goes back to sleep quickly.

I'm hoping too that it's a phase although it's lasted a long time. We're going through it if it's any help.

[NK49c6648bX1181c877b81]

Hi there - I too am having exactly the same problem with my 13 month old and not sure what to do. I think he is teething but he seems to be teething about 75% of the time and I rarely have a full week where I feel he's 100% in himself. This is having a bad impact on his sleeping with him being up either increasingly early or with him having quite fitful sleep through the night. I sometimes hear him every couple of hours and often he lets out the most terrible screams. Although often he settles himself back to sleep, sometimes he doesn't and then he just seems up for the duration. And anyway, even if he does settle I can't get back to sleep and feel increasingly jittery and unable to sleep myself as I'm almost nervously waiting for the next scream. Have in the past used controlled crying which is horrible to do but has really sorted out some issues. However, now I really don't feel ths is right and am feeling increasingly guilty for the times I've done it, especially several times more recently where, with hindsight I really felt it was the wrong thing. This isn't helped by my mother-in-law interfering and telling me "don't abandon him". I now feel awful but really wonder how you find the balance between being firm (increasingly important now I think) and giving them the reassurance they need. Does anyone have any views on the controlled crying thing and do people think that this is all to do with separation anxiety making teething all seems worse??

[mazzystar]

yep

got this going on just now with dd who was 1 last week

we are just weathering it, she sleeps in our bed so its not a big hassle

ds did same, we did softies version of controlled crying, ie not much crying and not sure who was in control at 16 months, when his language was a bit more developed and he just seemed "ready". it was sorted in 2 nights and we are kind of hoping for the same with dd. i wouldn't dream of trying it yet, she's got classic one year old clingyness going on and think it wouldn't work for that reason.

[mamadoc]

Well its good to know others are going through this too but it looks like we may well have a few months more of this on our hands

I am going on the theory that its teething as she is sort of rubbing her gums with her finger a lot lately and dribbling but it is frustrating when no teeth actually appear. She is also just learning to crawl and pull up and I went back to work pt 3weeks ago so she has had a lot of change. For all these reasons I don't want to do controlled crying but the day may well come.

deezee we are also trying the bunny thing. I got the idea from no cry sleep solution. The book recommends having the bunny there whilst feeding to create nice association but so far DD has no affection for it and beats it up!

I think I might be able to stand a couple of nights of crying IF I run out of excuses for DD being like this and IF I thought it would sort the problem in the long run but would be gutted if it was something we had to keep on doing.

NK if you want to do something but not controlled crying no cry sleep solution has some ideas. I don't know if they work as I've just not had the energy to be consistent with trying any of them but might be an idea?

[Nellstar]

Have woken up feeling like a zombie with a similar problem. My DS has just turned one. Before Christmas he was an excellent sleeper (2 daytime naps and 7.30-6.30/7 at night). Christmas inevitably was full of excitement and changed environments and he's woken up every night basically since then. He's been ill a fair bit so l I've comforted him lots, and I think it's become a habit with him. Now we just lay him back down in the cot and pat his back, stroke his forehead till he's calm and walk out and go in ten seconds later, do the same, then add five seconds etc etc. He goes back to sleep after about 4 or 5 goes of these, but last night woke 4 times and I really can't handle it. We now go to bed at 9 just so we can get through the next day. I'm on the verge of trying CC, but it terrifies me having read Steve Biddulph, Why Love Matters etc, but I really can't handle this and feel I'm a worse mother during the day for being completely shattered. Sorry to be long winded and moany, I have friends whose babies wake 8 times in the night and who co-sleep who seem to be in much better moods than me!

[JimJammum]

My ds sometimes wakes in the night moaning and then proceeds to stay awake for a couple of hours (4 hours one night!!! aaaaaagh!)and it is always related to tiredness - he's had too little sleep in the day and then is so exhausted in the night he seems unable to settle himself ,bizarrely. I wonder if this is the case with any others above - he was about a similar age when it started. I have to monitor his daytime sleeps obsessively, as if he has only an hour at lunch, I'm usually in for a bad night. TBH I just do whatever I have to on those nights (co-sleep, cuddle, rock) to get him back off, and he tends to find too much distraction makes it worse and screams to block it all out. Maybe it's worth reassesing the daytime naps of these babes?
It does seem to co-incide too with lots of other activity - walking, separation, nursery, teeth etc which happens at this sort of age, but does seem to sort itself out. I know those nights when you lie there waiting for the next cry, and wondering why you don't just sleep as you're shattered. Big hug to everyone who's in the same boat.