When to move baby into her own room

[slowlearner]

DH and I can't agree about whether to move DD (3.5 months) into her own room. I want to wait until 6 months as per the official guidance which is aimed at reducing the risk of cot death, but DH wants to do it asap. One thing we do agree on is that it would definitely result in a better night's sleep for all 3 of us (DH's snoring, toilet trips etc disturb DD who then wakes for a feed when otherwise she would sleep for longer - I know this from the occasional night DH is away or sleeps in the spare room). DD normally wakes twice in the night for a feed, is up for about an hour each time but settles easily afterwards - this really doesn't bother me at this young age. What do people think? Do many people follow the 6 month advice? THANKS!

[ILikeToMoveItMoveIt]

This is a tricky one, and will no doubt end in a 'lively debate'.

I moved ds into his own room and cot when he was about 2 months old, for exactly the same reasons you list, plus ds had outgrown his moses basket.

We all got a better nights sleep, but I did spend the 1st week with the baby monitor glued to my ear (even though he was in the room next door with all of the doors open).

That was what I did, but you have to decide what is best for all of you xx

[andiemustlosehalfastonemore]

slowlearner I followed the advice for both of mine putting the baby in their own room before 6 months doubles the risk of cot death
you will get lots of people posting who say I did it an mine were fine but it was a risk I wasn't prepared to take
tbh you need to weigh up the risk yourself and make the decison based on what you feel comfortable with yes lots of babies are fine but I felt that I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something happened

[Denny185]

Can u move Dh out instead

Has to be your decision and one your comfortable with, guidlines say 6 months, I moved both of mine out at about 10 weeks with doors open and monitor) but not everyone would want to do that. Weigh up all your evidence and make your own informed decision. Good luck

[PrettyCandles]

Include other factors in your consideration of the risk of cot-death. For example are either of you smokers or have any contact with smokers? If so, then I would follow the SIDS guidelines to the letter. But if everything in your lives puts you into the low-risk category, then I would do what is most comfortable for you. The risk of cot-death is low, something like 1 in 2000.

[pulapula]

Yes, so even if putting baby in own room doubles the risk of SID as andie suggests, this is still only 1 in 1000 which is very low risk still.

I moved DD into her own room at 5 months, and DS at 4 months. Some friends have done it from day 1, but I'd rather feed LO in bed than in a chair in the middle of the night!. Both times for the same reasons as you (we were disturbing each other). If you aren't happy with doing it, then I suggest DF sleeps in the spare room for a couple of months. My DH would often sleep in the spare room - if I brought LO into bed I didn't feel safe if he was there too. If he snores etc, I'm sure you will sleep better too!

[Seona1973]

we waited till about 7/8 months with both lo's as we wanted to follow the guidelines.

[meep]

dd is still in with me (6 months) - I'm about to go back to work so don't want to move her and get her settled into nursry at same time as it might be too much for her (and me ). I know lots of mums who have done it earlier and later - it has to be something you (and your dh) are comfortable with.

[sweetkitty]

It's very personal thing, I know people who put them in their own room from the beginning and some that are still cosleeping at 2+. There are no hard and fast rules you do what is best for you and your family. And don't forget the official guidelines are there for a reason.

DD1 was in with us for 15 months, DD2 12 months this was the right thing for us but I know it's not for everyone.

[slowlearner]

thanks everyone... we're both non-smokers, and no one smokes around her at all. She wasn't premature or low birth weight, we follow the guidelines for room temperature, she sleeps on her back etc etc etc so I guess the risk is very small. 6 months seems like a short time to me but unfortunately DH doesn't agree!!

[jabuti]

as the mom of an erratic sleeper, i would not encourage your baby to wake up more than the usual, and that turning into a pattern. if you feel confident about her safety, it soudns wise to mover her to her own room.

hi pulapula! we are on the baby whisperer routine. hard work last night but we are sticking to it!

[cathshuck]

both mine went into their own rooms at 5 weeks as I just couldnt sleep as jumped up at every move they made. Have monitors on and doors open and go and check on an hourly basis. They both sleep through 90% of the time and youngest is nearly 5 months. If you are worried follow the guidelines X

[Umlellala]

Personally, I sleep much worse with dd in her own room (espesh when little) as I lie awake listening to her every breath wondering if I will have to get up in a minute. And getting up and going to her and then coming back wakes me up a lot more than shifting over to the cot, putting a hand on her and going back to sleep.

But each to their own - I think we did move dd at 6mths anyway to see if she would sleep better (she didn't and slept a lot with us but the next one will be in our room til at least a year (well, that;s the plan now anyway) - really don't like being so far from my baby.

[LittleBottle]

My DS is 23 weeks, and we moved him into his own room last night. He woke at 1am (habit, as it's when we go to bed, I think) and again at 3am - both times only for a short breastfeed (10 mins) then back to sleep again. He didn't wake up until 9am this morning, it was marvellous!

I thought I'd have an awful night's sleep worrying about him, but I didn't...I slept brilliantly

It's up to you, but it's obvious to me now that we were disturbing him when he was in our room (would wake up every 2-3 hours some nights, and I would 'shush' him back to sleep with the boob).

We are hoping he'll drop the habitual 1am waking now he's not in with us. He's not weaning yet so not expecting 12 hours straight any time soon, but this is definitely good enough for me for now!

[dd666]

dd was 6months, i hadnt found mn then

[twelveyeargap]

DD2 was in her own room at 2 weeks. Everyone slept better. She only got fed when she was actually hungry instead of at every grunt.

I stopped using the monitor when she was about 4 months. Any mother with good hearing who doesn't go to bed drunk or stoned (or actually have a condition that makes them sleep heavily) will wake when their baby is crying. You're tuned into it.

[sarah71]

I moved dd2 into her own room at 4 weeks - she was a very light sleeper as is dp and they were constantly waking each other up (we have a v small bedroom and he makes at least one loo trip in the night.)It wasn't a decision I took lightly - before she was born I was planning on her sleeping with us for several months. dd1 didn't have her room til a year but she slept like a very silent log! I have the baby monitor right next to me and I can hear her every snuffle. I think its right that there are guidelines but I don't think they suit every family/baby. She has a much better nights sleep and dp always checks on her during his loo trips

[Lomond]

Dd1 was about 7 months, she was starting to get disturbed by us going to bed.

DD2 is still in our room and she is almost 7 months now.

To be honest I wouldn't risk it before six months because of the risk of cot death but I know loads of people who have done it (my sister included) and it worked for them. I wouldn't have got any sleep with worrying.

[sarahanna]

sweet kitty
(sorry to hijack this thread)
how was it when you put your babies in their own room eventually?
would be really interested to hear how you got on. we're in a one bed flat in london until ds is 11 months so no choice (although its fine at the mo, i love having him near me - hes 4 months)
but did they go bonkers when they were finally in their own room or was it an easy transition?
thanks

[FlaminSnowball]

we put ds into his own room Saturday at 15 weeks. The first night we had 2 5.5hour stretches which has never happened before. The second night he woke up once at 3 am. And last night he slept from 6.30 - 10.30 fed then slept till 7am!!!!!!! I cant believe it! He is definately happier away from snoring dh.

[cestlavie]

I'm genuinely very curious to know the rationale for this 6 month delay period (we only waited for 3 months). All the advice sites say 6 months but there seems to be no rationale or scientific advice given for why this reduces the risk of SIDS. Speaking to medical health professionals, none of them have any idea as to the reason for it either.

The best I've found is just anecdotal evidence that maybe the mother's breathing helps regulate the infant's breathing or that she can respond more quickly if the child stops breathing. To be honest, neither of these I buy into (especially the latter)given what are deemed to be the major risk factors of SIDS but I'm happy to be proved wrong.

[glaskham]

just to add my experience....i had ds in our room till 10mths and he woke everynight without fail.....till we moved house and he got his own room, and within 2 nights he was sleeping 7pm till 7am....dd was 12wks when i put her into her own room, the amount she'd needed milk had gone down to one 5am feed in the morning so i thought she'd be fine on the lines of feeds, and within a week she also slept 7-7.

IMO (so no-one jump on me for this,.....please!!) if a baby was going to dye of SIDS then it would happen wether the baby was next to you in bed or in the next room....from what i know there is no noise or movements when this happens, so how would you be woken to help?....but as i said this is my own opinion!! dd is a happy healthy girl and she is now no different to her brother sleepwise, so i'd say just move her when you feel comfortable, as with me and my first it was much longer than with my second chid.

[Neney1]

Moved DS last night, aged 18 weeks. Cried my heart out!!! I didn't wan't to move him til 6m either, but crib was getting too small and he was waking himself up by smacking his arms of the bars). Have a cotbed, so no room in our bedroom for it!!
He's been sleeping in his own room during the day for 2 weeks now, so it was a slightly easier transition, but still heartbreaking to look at the empty crib at botom of our bed! Our boy is growing up....

[Flum]

Bung her on the landing for a week or so then put her in own room. sleep next to her for night or so, then leave her to it. i reckon

[mehdismummy]

omg i am so rubbish ds nearly two and still with me. Just trying to move him into own bed on floor next to mine. Its ok but then again i am sitting on the floor holding his hand! Admire anyone who can do it earlier. I never could

[Nessamommy]

I think that this is definitely something nobody can answer for you. It really depends on you. When we first had my son, I was adamant that he would be in his own crib by 2 months...well, I realized as time went on that I just couldn't do it. I was the one with separation anxiety problems. But, my husband and I really needed our time and our own space so I decided at 3 months to move him. It was so hard for me, but a month later, I am so happy I did it. I do believe that children need their own space eventually to learn how to sleep on their own amongst other reasons. I also believe that parents need their own space as well. I sleep way better at night, and I'm sure my baby does too. When you feel it's the right time, do it, and if it totally doesn't feel good for you, you could always move him back to your room. Good luck!