Our baby is driving us insane

[funstuie]

My son is 8 months old this Friday and he still not sleeping through the night.

At about the 6 month mark when we switched him to solid food (using the baby leg weaning method) he started showing signs of sleeping through the night. Usually one night a week he would sleep from 7pm to 7am (or thereabouts) but over the past month his sleeping has gone mental.

Whereas before he would wake up occasionally through the night one of us would go in and it would take about 10 minutes at most to get him settled and back to sleep. Now when he wakes up it takes up to 2 hours to get him back to sleep and he cries almost the whole time and over the last two nights he has been hysterical. It's driving us mental. He seems to be getting worse rather than better and we don't know what to do.

We can't really do the "pick up, put down" method as picking him up doesn't settle him and my wife doesn't want to do any kind of controlled crying (I am more open to this, although it will be horrible I want him to sleep).

He has had a really bad cold/chest infection and his first teeth have come through over the past month so these could be (and probably are) affecting him but he has been fine for the past week and as I said he seems to be getting worse at night time rather than better. We could handle him waking twice a night if it only took a little effort to get him back to sleep but at the moment we like Zombies walking his room for hours trying not to cry through the screaming.

So any advice? Is this normal?

[FluffyMummy123]

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[FluffyMummy123]

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[AwayInAMunker]

Are you giving him anything? Teething powders/gel, Calpol, Medised? Not advocating drugging him to sleep, but if his teeth are sore, don't feel you can't!

[FluffyMummy123]

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[ChubbyStuckForAFestiveNameBurd]

OK, I have no experience of 8 month old babies (mine's 4.5 months) but I DO have experience of surviving with a baby who won't settle to sleep.

Have you thought about taking him into bed with you when he wakes? What do you do when he wakes (ie lights on/lift him/shush him etc). Is he looking for comfort (ie does he just want to be close to you) or does he need fed? AFAIK just because he has slept through in the past doesn't mean he won't be hungry now if he's having a growth spurt.

PS at baby leg weaning

[callmeoverchristmas]

You need to agree a plan. And stick to it. IMO it sounds like teething and the Cold have unsettled him and if that is the case CC won't work anyway. A LO needs to be well and happy for it to have the right effect.

DD went through various stages and every time I would think she was regressing only for her to suddenly go back to sleeping through of her own accord. I know it is hard but give it time and you should see an improvement.

One last thought - is he warm enough/too warm? DD woke up last night because it got too hot in her room - I had put her rad on as it was so cold outside, she needed a Drink and then settled again but it took an hour or so.

[FluffyMummy123]

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[callmeoverchristmas]

LOL Cod

Mine is the WWIBFU - Whatever Works is Best for Us.

[FluffyMummy123]

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[WhenScoobyGotStuckUpTheChimney]

Only read op, my dd is 22 months & not sleeping through the night you have lots of sympathy from me.

[orangina]

that's my favourite method cod. am sure i am better at it than you.

[FluffyMummy123]

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[BroccoliSpears]

Cold + chest infection + teething. If he's had these one after the other and all on top of each other, plus a growth spurt possibly, plus who knows what else (ear infection? Too cold?)... I remember a time when dd seemed to get one thing after another. Individually they were all understandable ("Ohh, so that's why she's not sleeping") but one on top of the other it was just relentless. Then, of course, she got into a habit of not sleeping well.

Do whatever works for you. Take him into bed with you. Dream feed. Whatever it takes. Get through this bit and remember that it really is a phase. He won't be waking up and screaming for hours for ever.

[wilbur]

Have you propped the head of his cot up a bit? This really helped my lot when they were sick with chesty coughs. Is he in a sleeping bag so he can't throw off covers? 8month babies move around so much more than 5/6 monthers, sleeping bags are brilliant for keeping them cosy ans sleepy. It is getting colder at night, and yes, I know, I know, the baby thermometers all say 19 deg or something like that, but in my experience, all 3 of mine were much happier when warmer than that.

And agree with cod - have a plan and both stick to it, do the same thing every night an give it a chance to work (whatever it is) don't chop and change methods each night. Then just take it in turns for night shift (unless your DW is feeding in the night, in which case divvy up each night to suit feeds) and hang on in there.

FWIW - I do think it's worth doing something just because not every baby will sort themselves out on their own. The NCT have a good gradual withdrawal method which is like Controlled Crying lite. [wilbur ducks for cover as the anti-CC crowd throw copies of The Continuum Concept at her]

[edam]

It's not surprising he's been sleeping badly when he's been ill. Thing is to help him get back into better sleep patterns now he's OK. Some good advice here.

Next time he's got a cold, as well as raising the head of the cot, boil a kettle in his room or buy a humidifier to create lots of steam - makes a big difference and makes it less likely they will get out of the habit of sleeping through.

[DaddyJoseph]

funstuie, congrats on your little lad and
sorry to hear you've hit a rough patch.

'Now when he wakes up it takes up to 2 hours
to get him back to sleep and he cries almost the whole time and over the last two nights he has been hysterical'

Even now that he seems to be over his cold?
He is crying while you are holding/rocking him back to sleep?

If he is crying for 2 hours anyway,
sleep training is way off the agenda.
It sounds like he is in pain.

As someone else said, can you rub in bonjela
(i.e. teething gel) and then try and settle him?
We had a similar scenario about half a dozen times
in the last 10 months and the gel always did the trick.

If no joy: could it be an ear infection?

[funstuie]

Hi all thanks for the advice. I will try fill in the gaps and answer some questions.

We are giving him teething powders which he seems to like, not too sure if they are working or not though. We have raised the head of his cot as he was getting quite bunged up with snot. It has worked a little and we put some Karvol on a muslin at the end of his cot. He sleeps in a growbag and we usually put a blanket over him later in the night as it gets colder.

To be honest he never really slept through the night before but he did have a pattern. He gets a bath and a feed before bed (between 6 and 7 depending on how tired he is. He is generally in bed asleep by 7pm most nights), most nights he falls asleep while feeding, if not he will settle in our arms and then fall asleep in his cot with a little shushing bottom patting. Most night he slept through till about midnight when I would go in and settle him again (I pick him up settle him on my shoulder, sometimes I have to rock him to get him to settle. When he is settled he goes back down in the cot), this usually takes about 10/20 minutes. He would then wake again between 3 and 5 and my wife would go in and again this would take at most 20 minutes to settle him.

He goes to bed by 7 fine and he still wakes about midnightish and I settle him but its the mid morning wake ups which are the problem. He won't settle and he gets progressively worse with his crying turning to screaming/screeching. We can't tell what's wrong. My wife usually ends up feeding him to get him to settle.

At 6 months we stopped feeding him after 7pm (dropped the dream feed) and we would not feed him when he woke up at all. This worked fine until he got his cold/teething/chest infection and everything has gone out the window.

The problem is now when he wakes up at 4am (or whatever time) we can't settle him, he doesn't settle in our arms, rocking makes no difference. He just screams until my wife feeds him and even then he is just comfort sucking. His crying/screaming is horrible, the neighbours must think we go in during the night and stab him.

Another problem for us is he is still BF and he refuses to take a bottle now. He used to take it no problem but for some reason about 6 months he just refused to take it. My wife is so tired that she doesn't get time to express and he wont take formula.

Also just for completion I must point out he doesn't sleep much during the day (never has). He gets up at 7 and he will then have a little nap about 8.30 for about 45 minutes. If my wife is lucky he will then go for a longer nap mid morning. Sometimes he will have an afternoon nap for about 45 minutes but that's it. Some days his morning nap is all he goes down for. He is too active to want to sleep and when she tries to get him down he screams blue murder. But this would be fine if we could at least get him back to his night time routine (what there was of one anyway).

Stu

[ChubbyStuckForAFestiveNameBurd]

I think from what you've said he's just needing extra comfort and nutrition after a spell of illness, which will be provided by breastfeeding. In your shoes I would take him into our bed and feed him when he wakes in the early hours. As he gets older you might find he doesn't wake so early/drops it altogether, but for now as he's probably still recovering from a bad spell and your wife is so tired I would definitely suggest the cosleeping path of least resistance!

[AwayInAMunker]

I used to dreamfeed (fully breastfed) DS2 till he was one. Meant I could be (usually) sure of a good chunk of sleep before he woke up again. Perhaps try that? Don't see it as a backwards step, see it as helping for the moment you're in now.

[AwayInAMunker]

Also, Stu, my DS2 was very like you describe - massively active, didn't sleep much, but had a voracious appetite (still does) for food, milk and general stimulation.

Bright kid, he is - so I'm banking on him being a Nobel prizewinner when he's older and treating me to a manor house

[morningpaper]

I would bring him into my bed at 4am, feed him, and sleep for another 3 hours. Is this the solution?

[ElfPolarBear]

I have this, though not as sever with my nearly 8 month old. I used to be able to just put him in his cot when he was either sleepy or asleep and leave him, now it can take up to an hour of rocking and then putting him down very carefully. I used to sleep with him when he did this, which worked but now he's too active, he'd crawl and wriggle away (even though he is tired). He's been really bad recently, we think because of teething as he has 2 little ones through, but I'll be keeping an eye on this thread.

[ElfPolarBear]

Sorry, meant to say he's been a bit better in the last 2 or 3 nights

[gingerninja]

I agree, if a feed settles him then just do it. Honestly don't worry yourself about steps backwards and all that stuff, my theory is if you go with it and don't fight it, it's less stress for all involved and it'll resolve itself in time. If he settles well after milk then he's probably genuinely hungry (PS there's nothing wrong with him needing comfort either) I second the co-sleeping advice. In the short time you might find it difficult but you soon get used to sleeping with another body.

My DD is 15 months and has been ill on and off for a few weeks and is cutting a tooth too and the last four nights has been awake between 1-2 hours. very upset. She gets calpol, milk, water, watever it takes to settle her in situations like that and it doesn't impact how things work when she's well.