For f**k's sake. dd is now nearly two and STILL wakes up every bloody night!!!!

[Cloudhopper]

I am beyond distracted. dh and I are at our wits end.

Dd2 shares a room with dd1 (4yo) and she STILL wakes up every single bloody night, usually between the hours of 1am and 4am, although sometimes the absolute killer of 3am -5am.

Every night dd1 gets woken up - they have to share as we only have 2 bedrooms . She has dark rings under her eyes every day and is falling asleep at nursery. They need to get up for nursery at 6.30am every morning, setting off at 7am, so it is a struggle in the mornings.

I now feel like my life is a dream, because it is so long since I felt un-tired.

Worst of all I did the GF sleep training method which worked like a dream until she was 6 mo.

What do we do? I need to know if this is normal - I am going round the bend with sleep deprivation. Both me and dh are on prozac.

[funnypeculiar]

Much pity. Neither of mine slept right through til 18mths, and even so both are stil not great sleepers - although dd is much easier as she'll happily come in with us & cuddle up.
What have you tried so far?

[LadyOfTheFlowers]

DS1 is 2.4 and still wakes, usually once, but lately has been more often as he is suffering night terrors.

[fingerwoman]

what happens when she wakes up? is she up for ages?

[Cloudhopper]

thanks for your sympathy! oh gosh - what haven't we tried?

controlled crying is a distant memory. we brought her into our bed until the kicking became too violent to handle.

main obstacle is dd1 in the same room. it has meant that we have to see to dd2 pretty quickly when she wakes up.

my instincts tell me that she is now just doing it for attention. she screams the house down but stops the instant we go into the room.

[Cloudhopper]

yes fingerwoman (interesting name!)

she is up for hours - i think that is the killer. at least when she was younger she would settle off one way or the other.

we have totally lost the plot. i am so tired i can't see the plot any more.

[karen999]

Can't you just bring dd2 in with you for a few nights to see how it goes? ie, ask her to share with mummy and daddy for a few nights becasue little brother is needing help to sleep. It may take the pressure off if you feel like you are not going to disturb her? Or would this just create more problems?

[ScoobyDoo]

Lots of sympathy, don't know if you have seen my sleep thread, my dd is 22 months & wakes up every night still is well, sometimes just once or twice a night but sometimes 5 or 6 times, it is killing me.

Ds shares a room with her he is 5 but luckily he does not wake up, thank god cause he goes to school.

I have no advice as i am trying to get through it & sort it myself is well.

[fingerwoman]

well, I have heard that if you wake her up about an hour before she normally wakes, andc then settle her back down again (hopefully easier because she'll be sleepy where you've woken her) that it'll jolt her out of her regular waking pattern. does that make sense?

it does mean setting an alarm and getting up at stupid 0'clock, but it might just work?

otherwise (and this may be controversial) have you tried giving her some medised or something to get her to sleep through for a couple of nights? just to try and break the cycle?

[Cloudhopper]

i think you could be right karen999. i have thought about this a lot.

bring dd1 into our room then do controlled crying or something.

problem is space - we often end up with her in our bed while dd2 is crying - but she gets really grumpy and doesn't sleep well.

i think i will bring her mattress into our room for a few days while we sleep train the little one. good thinking.

[fingerwoman]

ahh I was just going to add the same thing about bringing dd1 into your room so that you can sort dd2 out without waking her,.

[gnu]

If you can afford it, you can get a sleep 'consultant' to come round and work outr a strategy with you.

[funnypeculiar]

What do you have to do to calm her down? Is you just being there enough? Presume you've tried some form of gradual withdrawl?
Star chart (sounds too simplistic, and she may be too young, but worked a treat with ds at about 2.5 - first week, he would think about whether he wanted stars or cuddles in the night, then next week, he would wake up & tell us he'd deicded to go to sleep

More radically, what about bringing her into your room for a bit - so you aren't constrained by dd1.

DS is a killer for the two hours awake thing too - tbh, now, I just roll with it - I get into bed with him & go back to sleep whilst he chunters away (but he wakes maybe once a week now, so can understand if you want/need to be stricter)

[Cloudhopper]

scoobydoo - my complete sympathy for you too. this is a challenge of a sort i have never come across in life. it is bl**dy hard and relentless. i will look at your thread - thanks for letting me know.

fingerwoman - i think i might give the waking up a go. maybe at a time where i have booked some time off work. the medised route is well trodden already and is only a short term (one night or two) solution.

[Nemo2007]

another who still has the same, ds is just 4 and only slept through since sept[4 in oct]. DD1 is 23m and still wakes up at the min dd2[10m] doesnt thankfully

[karen999]

I would avoid the medised unless they are poorly and need it. You may find that they build up a tolerance to it and when they really need it (ie when they are ill) it no longer has an effect.

If it were me I would bring dd in with me and deal with ds. Bring in a mattress or whatever it takes. Or either you or dh just sleep in with dd. It may take a couple of nights to sort but would be worth it.

Sorry have just realised that I referred to dd as ds in my previous post!!

You have my sympathies. My first dd was a terrible sleeper and still is. Thankfully dd2 is way better but I totally approached the whole sleep thing differently second time round.

[Cloudhopper]

gnu - sleep consultant - where would i find one - it's a great idea. money not really an object but space is.

funnypeculiar - might try the star chart. yes she is a bit young and not really talking very much. however, she does understand every word and it is worth a try. good thinking.

problem with bringing her into our room is that then neither dh nor i would get any sleep! at present we do shifts. might bring dd1 in though.

[gomez]

What does DD2 sleep in at the mo? If still a cot/toddler bed could you stick that in the hall/on the landing, we had friends who found that their DC were disturbing each other but like you only had 2 beds. They split them up this way and it really helped. I think after about 6 months they popped them back together and it was good.

It is a killer thou'.

[Cloudhopper]

gomez - it's worth a thought. although only two beds, i have considered travel cot in lounge. two bed flat means we don't have a landing or much free space. their room is next to the kitchen.

i think the best option is to split them - dd1 coming in our room, then deal with dd2, possibly by sleeping in a camp bed during the midnight waking hours.

main problem is that i have just lost all sense of reality after years of no sleep! has really helped to have suggestions.

by the way, medised was only used once or twice and not as a solution - only if poorly. the thing is that for months and months she was ill all the time. i think that was when this became such a big problem looking back. was probably too lenient during that phase.

[gomez]

Splitting them up will I am sure help. Our pals have a lovely two bed with a huge room for their girls but really stuck one of them in the vestibule for 6 months as couldn't bear the thought of having their other daughter sleep with them for months on end.

What about investing in a futon and letting DD1 sleep in the lounge - you and DH could read, watch telly, study, work in your bedroom for a few months?

[gnu]

I heard about the sleep consultant on another site. Someone with similar problems got one in London. I'll see what I can find out.

[gnu]

Here's an idea:
www.sleepnannies.co.uk/

alternatively google 'baby sleep consultant' and see what you come up with.

[Cloudhopper]

gomez - i have been toying with the idea of splitting them for a while - now i definitely will.

i think i will put the older one in our room - it is fairer to her.

it is very fraught when you are worrying about the other one while one is awake.

gnu - we are around london-surrey boundary - i think a sleep consultant would be useful now we are completely at the end of our tether. i found dh shouting at her the other night - it was so tragic because he has always been so sweet with her. it is just the desperation now.

[Cloudhopper]

off to bed now. thanks so much for all the advice and help.
x

[funnypeculiar]

Whilst I'm sure there are great sleep consultants out there, I'd get someone with recommendations, if you can - I had a mate who used one, & they were totally pointless!

[funnypeculiar]

We must be quite close, cloudhopper - maybe there's something in the water
Sleep well!!