Have you got/had a baby who will only sleep on a person?

[Manoo]

My six week old ds is breaking records by being an even worse sleeper than his brother was. Since birth he'll only go to and stay asleep on a person - even if he's in a very deep sleep, the minute you put him down in his moses basket/cot/our bed/anywhere, he has an in built mummy/daddy radar and he wakes up after 10 mins. The longest he's managed is about 30 mins. If he stays on me in the sling, he will sleep for much longer.

Now, I'm not hugely stressed about this (yet!). I'm into the whole babywearing thing, have a great sling, and a husband who's around a lot so is able to share the carrying. But there are a few things you can't do with a baby strapped to you, and I'd love to know that it isn't going to go on forever.

So if anyone has any positive stories of how this changed for them, then post 'em!

Oh, just to add.. I suspect his problem is wind/digestion - he grunts a lot, and it seems to be the grunting and squirming (resulting in a sick, burp or fart) that wakes him up. He grunts less on a person (which I don't get?), but still wakes in the sling, but of course my warmth is right there to send him back to sleep.

[katewilson13]

I did have this 'problem'. Caused by the fact that I wouldn't put my DS down! At about 3 months I realized that I had to do something. I started by realizing that he had 2-3 naps a day and gritted my teeth and put him back in bed. The first time he lasted about 5 minutes, but I managed to build it up. After only a week he was right into this new habit and now he can't sleep on me or anyone else at all! I did use a dummy (which you may not be comfortable with) and I notice that he sleeps in the same position in bed as he did on me (i.e. on his side). I also use a babygro which seems to keep him warm and comfort him. I followed his lead in that he likes a recognizable toy near by (now that he's old enough) and a blanket to hold. I also only put him down for a nap when he actually wants one (which for him bizarrely is about an hour and half after he gets up in the morning). Hope this helps.

[BikeBug]

DS was just like this, including the wind / digestion issues. Like the rest of his sleep habits it changed by itself, very gradually.

I can't remember the exact timings now, but we went from only sleeping on someones chest to sleeping (fitfully) in a moses basket and then a crib if fed to sleep, from about 2 months. Then at about 5-6 months feeding stopped sending him to sleep (crisis!) and we rocked / shushed him to sleep on a shoulder then put him down. Then at about 10 months he got too big for that and made it quite clear it wasn't making him happy any more (crisis #2!), and we're currently going through some very gentle sleep training (gradual withdrawal) and are at the stage where he will go to sleep in his cot with a bit of stroking and ear rubbing to get him sleepy then will fall asleep with me or DH sitting beside the cot.

It has taken 14 months to get this far, and he's still waking at least twice a night, often 4 or 5 times, but his sleep habits are evolving at their own pace and I am so pleased and proud of the progress he has made! Possibly not a totally inspiring story as we've had some very real sleep deprivation along the way, but as luck would have it I am pretty good with not much sleep and he's our only one, so we've been able to take it at his pace. I think most babies would evolve their sleeping faster than this - he's got poor genes for it, as I didn't sleep through til I was five (gulp).

[shonaspurtle]

I had this. Dh and I fretted about it as we were continually being told that ds would be spoiled, rod-for-own-backs, etc etc.

He grew out of it himself really very early at around 6-8 weeks and now sleeps in his cot at night with no problems although day time naps can be a bit hit or miss (this is getting better). He still sleeps better with me if we're staying away from home but will sleep beside rather than on me - just as well as he weighs a ton now!

He still likes being held and carried rather than being in the pram but as we've used a carrier most of the time going out since birth that's just what he's used to I suppose.

I'm quite annoyed now that we spent so much time when he was tiny trying to settle him in the moses basket although I suppose that's how we discovered he was ready to sleep by himself. Looking back (with the benefit of a good night's sleep ) I'm glad I had the experience of that closeness in his early weeks.

[SoupDragon]

What slig do you have? Can you slither out of it and then swaddle him in it so he thinks he's still being held (the sling should also smell of you )? Also make the basket/cot/bouncy chair more upright so he's more in the "being held" position. The only way DD would sleep is by being in the Coorie sling and then put down, bundled up in it.

[Manoo]

Lots of interesting thoughts/comments here... thanks folks.

katewilson - useful to know that you managed to change things, but that he only lasted 5 mins at first (that will help me persist rather than give up cause I think it's not working!).

bikebug - i think that all sounds quite positive. Ds1 was a terrible sleeper and he's gradually got better and better (sleeping through most nights now at nearly 4), so at least I know that it does all resolve itself eventually! like your lo, it was all a gradual process, and I spose that knowledge keeps me sane with my six week old. great to be reminded that things do change along the way.

shonaspurtle - thanks for reminding me to enjoy the closeness.

soup dragon - we have a hugabug wrap sling. annoyingly you have to unravel the whole thing to get him off, or pull him out completely. i'll look into the coorie and being able to keep him swaddled in it. sounds a good idea. thanks also for the suggestion of upright sleeping place.

[ib]

DS is like this - sleeping on me righ now! However these last few days he has been on medication for GER and is now much better - will actually stay asleep once he is asleep, even if he is put down. I think the main problem was his GER was so bad that he could only sleep in very few positions, and it required a person to keep him in those! He even stopped sleeping in a sling at about 2months (he is 4.5mo now), so we've been carrying him in arms 24/7 for the past two months!

He'll probably grow out of it but if he doesn't it might be worth investigating the digestive issue.

[snowleopard]

We had a stage of this - I remember long evenings pacing up and down with DS on my shoulder and we have lots of photos of DP with him snoozing on his chest. As others have said it was just a gradual process to change it. We had a baby hammock and did a lot of sitting with him in the hammock, one hand on his tummy, gently bouncing him and chanting and he would finally drop off - repeat ad nauseam. I think the baby hammock did help though because when the baby wakes and moves, it rocks and bounces which seemed to reassure him.