Feeling like I'm failing already - 5 week old

[lissy1980uk]

I'm new on here and thought I'd join to get some advice and reassurance from you lovely people :-)
My eldest DS is 6 and we never had a sleep routine in place. I guess we were younger and life was different back then, we were the first to have a baby in our friendship group so being young and naive we kept on with normal life and DS fit in. He still won't settle easily at night but sleeps through fine. I now have a 5 week old DS too and am determined not to fall into the same trap. However, I feel like I'm failing already :-(
He won't sleep more than 2/3 hours at once and is sleeping on or next to me which is not what I wanted(although I am following all safety guidelines to the letter!) I have bed side co sleeping cot but can't even get him to settle in that. He's Bf and likes to fall asleep on me feeding (again not what I had planned). I'm so worried I've cocked this up already :-(. How is everyone else's 5 wk old, is it too early for a routine? I'm exhausted and feeling down, this concept of 'putting a baby down' to sleep keeps alluding me :-(
We do bed time at 7 - bath, dimmed lights, books etc etc but I end up having to stay upstairs and don't see my HB at all.
Any suggestions, reassurance or ways others are managing their 5/6 wk old!?
Thank you xxx

[Heirhelp]

That is perfectly normal. Babies that age need to feed every 2 to 3 hours.

Look up Isis safe cosleeping leaflet. Co-sleeping is not considered the evil that it once was.

Also look up fourth trimester which will explain why your baby needs you.

Babies can't understand a routine until 4 months.

This phase is hard but it goes quickly even if it does not seem like it at the time.

[Badgoushk]

You are doing exceptionally well!! Well done!

In my view, any routine is difficult before 3 months. Babies want to feed loads in that time to establish a fantastic supply.

However, I coslept with both of mine so it made life easier as I just lean in for a feed when it's needed.

[Bellaposy]

It sounds to me like you have a very normal 5/6 week old! My little one wouldn't be put down for the first few months and I would let her sleep on me downstairs so I could spend some time with DH. As she got older, she got better at going down and by 4 months was in a regular routine of going to bed at half 6. It will come but 5/6 weeks is too early to expect baby to be going down IMO. I know it's hard but we saved ourselves a lot of stress and upset by adjusting our expectations and not trying to force her to go down.

[Reiltin]

Yup, like the others said, you're doing perfectly. Your baby sounds about right and yes, it's far too early for a routine. All babies are different so don't compare your second with your first. TBH, if your baby is sleeping for 2-3 hours at a time, you're pretty lucky! You're giving your baby exactly what they need so good for you. Keep responding to their needs. Good luck 😊

[kiki22]

Keep a diary for 3/4 days of when he eats, sleeps and is awake then have a look for a routine he might not have any yet (ds1 never did but ds2 did at 2 weeks) but if he does try to nurture that natural routine and shape it into what you need over a good bit of time weeks/months not days.

Ds2 slept with me until about 3 months now I'm slowly moving him to his co sleeper as much as possible this has been 6 weeks and is now sleeping alone 7-3ish most nights.

[Aliveinwanderland]

My 11 week old won't sleep for more than 2-3 hours at a time. You get used to the lack of sleep!

[0hCrepe]

Mine is 15 weeks so a bit older. I did and still do keep her downstairs with me till I go to bed. At 5 weeks at my bedtime I fed her and put her in bedside cot, usually awake and made it dark. I ignored her noises (not cries, she just has a whingy wiggle).
Now she's older she lies in bed while I read and goes off. Then I transfer her. This is just so I can read in bed.
If you want to have him in the cot just keep trying. Saying that my dd1 would never sleep in hers really. This baby dd2.
Don't stress about routines though. Having them sleep on you is so lovely.

[Heirhelp]

m.huffpost.com/uk/entry/9607642

[Heirhelp]

www.isisonline.org.uk/where_babies_sleep/parents_bed/

[lissy1980uk]

Thanks everyone. Maybe I'm being a bit unrealistic and hard on myself. It's hard not to get fixated on something if you want it to happen so badly!! I think I'll chill out for a few more weeks but keep going with the routine for DD1 and hopefully DD2 will slot in :-)

[kiki22]

I've been the opposite I was a bit obsessed with ds1 having a schedule it got me so stressed and anxious I couldn't sleep and would lose my shit if someone fucked with the routine this time I'm playing the long game its so much easier to go with ds2 instead if fighting him. My goal is sleeping through in his own bed by 18 months.