Ways to safely co-sleep with toddler and 8 week old

[kiwimuma]

Hi all

I'm usually just a lurker and have never posted before. However I'm after some advice.

I live in New Zealand at the moment, and next week my husband and I are flying to the UK for 4 weeks with our two daughters - 20 months and 8 weeks. Our 20 month old is usually a champion sleeper and will go down with no fuss for 12-13hrs at night. My 8 week old isnt too bad as it goes, she generally will have a dream feed at 10.30pm and then wake up once during the night for a very quick feed (im talking 10-15 mins') then back to sleep until about 6am.

My problem is, they can on occasion wake each other up, and during our trip there are a few occasions where we will be in hotel rooms all together.

I've never co-slept before and have always in the past been fairly strict on the girls going to sleep in their own beds. However with the jet lag and the fact that we are all in one room together, I have a strong suspicion it will be a lot easier to settle them if they are in with us.

Are there any co-sleepers out there that can give me some tips/tricks for the best way to do this if it happens? Also any other advice mums have to keep me sane while trying to get the girls recovered from their jetlag would be great :)

[CheshireSplat]

Hi.

In typical mumsnet fashion I'm starting off with "I know it's not what you asked but....". Sorry.

I went travelling last summer for 6 weeks with a 3 year old and a 8 month old. One of my husband and I slept with the baby each night (to try and stop her crying too much and waking the while campsite) and she's been an awful sleeper since, now she's back in her cot.

You know your children but it sounds like your baby is sleeping so well, is try to keep her in a travel cot in case you can't get her back in one when you get home.

As I say you know your children - I'm just bitter and grumpy from a year's worth of bad nights!

Have a great trip!

[Booboostwo]

I co-sleep but I think 4 in a bed, where one is a newborn is going to be tough. Assuming you've read the guidelines on safe co-sleeping,

Your first problem is size, not many beds will accommodate two adults and two babies. You must make sure the newborn has a lot of space and no one can roll on her. Ideally you need to place yourself between the newborn and everyone else. Then you also need to take care DD1 doesn't roll of the bed either.

I'd place the mattress on the floor, but that's not always possible in hotels or smaller bedrooms. Get rid of all sheets, blankets, pillows, etc.

If you have a travel cot will either DD sleep in it? If DD1 can't climb out of the travel cot, it's ideal for her as she'll be a bit further away from the noise of DD2 waking up. Are you breastfeeding DD2? If yes feeding lying down will probably be the quietest thing to do. On the other hand, the travel cot is the safest place for DD2 and there is no risk anyone will roll on her there.

Is there any chance of having two bedrooms? Your DH can sleep with DD1 and you can sleep with DD2.

[Bigfam]

I currently co sleep with dd3 who is 18months, her new baby sister is due to arrive 9th of Dec & she turns 2 the end of January. I don't suddenly expect her to leave my bed, so she's staying put. I'm going to be buying a sleepyhead, I think the lady who designed them originally did so with the intention to use it as a safer option than co sleeping. Quite expensive, but worth having a look.

[kiwimuma]

Thanks everyone
Just to answer some questions -
Unfortunately (another long story here) I'm not breastfeeding DD2 - as much as I wanted to it wasn't happening this time.
I've got a travel bassinet (so about the size of a moses basket) that we are taking with us for DD2, and have asked for a travel cot for DD1 in most places.

Maybe I am just stressing over a non-issue right now? If DD2 does wake up in the middle of the night and disturb DD1, ideally the easiest thing to do would be to resettle DD2 in her bassinet, and worst case if DD1 does not settle back down, let her get in to bed with us.

Like i said, think I'm overthinking things?