how long do I persevere?!

[Tumtitum]

So I've previously posted about my DDs reluctance to nap. I'm currently trying really hard to have a bit more of a routine to the day and to get her napping in her cot so that she has a consistent place that she naps. This morning I had to go out so she napped in the car about 90 mins after waking, for 45 mins. I think she could have done with more but she was woken up by street noises as we had to walk home :( for the past hour I've been trying to put her for another nap in her cot. She is shouting but not crying (cried once and I picked her up, I know she's too young to for Cc/CIO and I don't want to do them anyway. In that time she also decided she wanted to feed and almost fed herself to sleep but not quite. So I know she's tired!!
My question is, how long do I keep trying to put her down in her cot?? Am I just making her overtired by now? Do I just give up and take her out in her sling?? The later it gets the more it's going to affect her bedtime and nights aren't good at the moment either :(
Help please!!!

[Diddlydokey]

How old is she?

[Tumtitum]

14 weeks
I just put her in her sling but trying to stay in her nursery with white noise, blinds drawn etc. She's wailing :( is this as bad as controlled crying?!
I know she's tired :(

[Diddlydokey]

It isn't controlled crying, she's an overtired baby.

So hold her and do a long slow calm shhhh noise, pretty much constantly
Then rock gently
Also pat her bum gently

You're trying to recreate a heartbeat sound

[Diddlydokey]

I've responded to two of your threads! Try the dummy too if she'll take it but don't worry otherwise

[Tumtitum]

Thanks Diddly :) think she's finally falling asleep in the sling. My God this whole sleep stuff is a nightmare

[Tumtitum]

I was wondering if it's OK to give her the dummy when she's in the sling? She tends to suck on my chest or her hands if she can find them! I tried the other day but obviously it's difficult with her so close and I was worried it might be dangerous

[Diddlydokey]

It is a nightmare. These links might help

Shh-pat worked great for us at this age www.mybabysleepguide.com/2009/01/shhpat.html

I used this chart as a guide www.mybabysleepguide.com/2013/02/average-sleep-charts-by-age.html

[Diddlydokey]

I never used a sling so I'm not sure about that one

[Tumtitum]

Thanks for those links. I've heard a lot about the shush pat stuff. I've never really gotten into swaddling her, I'm crap at it so she kicks out of it really easily and the swaddling things with zips and Velcro etc just seem extraordinarily tight!! maybe I need to reconsider tho...
I kind of do the shush pat thing with her over my shoulder, but maybe I should try propping her on her side.
Thanks for the tips!

[Diddlydokey]

I didn't swaddle when I did it and I wouldn't introduce it at this age, just a sleeping bag as i think they're a good sleep cue.

[Tumtitum]

That's a good idea... I have been putting her in her sleep bag but didn't today for some reason!

[Tumtitum]

So it's another nap time and I'm trying this whole shush pat thing!! The thing I'm stumbling on is that after 20 mins of sitting shushing and patting her she isn't relaxing at all, just wriggling around and fighting me!!! So I've just put her down... Is that right?!

[heyhulahoop]

Just go with the sling naps if that works, that's all that would get my dd to nap at that age and any attempts to get her to nap in the cot just stressed us both out.

I've always used dummy in the sling, and sometimes I would have to do VERY exaggerated jiggling up and down to get her to nod off.

Good luck! I found that age very trying sleep-wise, they're suddenly interested in everything and don't fancy sleeping but it got better fairly quickly!

[Tumtitum]

Thanks hula :) good to hear! My SIL is a big fan of routine and napping in cot from day one and she's got me terrified that she'll never sleep anywhere but the sling! I think you're right though I have to preserve my sanity as well as getting her to sleep!!

[heyhulahoop]

Nah just do whatever works at the time I reckon! Dd self settles for naps and at nighttime now (6 months) and has done for a while, but at that stage I thought she'd never nap anywhere but the sling! I desperately wanted her to nap in the cot so I could have a nap myself tbh but once I accepted that sling naps were the way it was for now and stopped trying the cot I felt a lot calmer and just sat and watched telly in a bit of a zombified state while she slept in there.

[Tumtitum]

Ha ha that sounds like me this afternoon except I was in a zombified state surfing mums net looking for sleep tips!! ;)

[Coconut0il]

My DS2 is 9 months and has never napped in his cot! If we're at home he has all his naps on my lap. I love the cuddles.
I would do whatever works, I find the better DS2 naps in the day the better he sleeps at night so I would go with whatever gets the most daytime sleep.

[Diddlydokey]

I do think that persevering can be worthwhile. After a week or so he was napping in his cot and I would nap myself for the first one, get lunch or do stuff in the next and the last would be a pram nap unless we had other plans.

When they nap so much it's restrictive to have them on you

[dinodiva]

My DD didn't nap in her cot until 6.5 months. Before that it was the buggy, the bouncy chair or on me. Really whatever worked at the time! 14 weeks is still very little, and try not to listen too much to other people, just do what works for you. (I know this is easier said than done - I'm constantly comparing!)

[Tumtitum]

I think I would be working myself up into such a state if I knew she would reliably sleep somewhere, even if it was on me, it's more than its a fight getting her to sleep anywhere! So I figure I may as well tackle the cot at the same time to save that fight further down the line! ;)
I'm happy to do naps in her sling as I know it does work after some tears, but I can't do them all as its hurting my shoulder and I would love to have a nap myself sometimes too! :)
Also think I wouldn't be stressing if her night sleeping hadn't gone tipsy turvy too!!
She's finally asleep in my bed now, and typically I can't sleep!!

[Coconut0il]

The sleep fighting is the worst. I find DS2 will sometimes do this if he's been awake a little too long. I try to settle him after 2 hours from wake up, 3 hours from next wake up and 4 hours after that is normally bed.
I've never really thought of it as restrictive diddly. I love having sleeping DS2 on my lap. DS1 is 12 now and this phase really does go by so quickly. Do whatever works and when it stops working try something else!

[tittysprinkles]

What about putting her in a pushchair for naps? That way you can rock her until she's asleep - after a few days she'll get the message that going in her pushchair means nap time and you won't have to rock her at all.

Also means that when you're away in holiday etc (provided you take pushchair with you) getting her to nap should be no problem - same familiar environment rather than a strange cot.

[Tumtitum]

Titty - we've actually just been on holiday and we bought a foldable buggy to take away with us for this very purpose!! It never worked tho occasionally we put her in it when she was asleep but she wouldn't fall asleep being rocked or pushed anywhere!!
In other news though... We had a 30 min then another 45 min nap in her cot today... Followed by a sling nap as we were out, then a failed final nap in her cot which went straight into bath and bed time... She slept for 30 mins, woke and was fighting not to go back down... I had to put her down as the oven was on and needed turning off... Came back up and she was awake but not crying so I just stayed outside... An hour later with no crying (just a few small grizzles) she fell asleep!! HURRAH!!!
Am now a bit stuck though as she still sleeps in with us and we don't yet have a baby monitor so I'm now in be anyway (would usually be in with her!) with the iPad and my door and her door open to keep an eye! Even if she wakes before long I'm so proud of us both!

[Diddlydokey]

That's amazing!

[Tumtitum]

Thanks Diddly! for some reason she is now wide awake and seems to think it's morning...