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Co-sleeping - should I stop?

10 replies

SarahOxon · 05/01/2007 21:28

My DS2 (10 months) has never once slept through the night and he is exhausting. About two months ago we discovered if he came into our bed, we'd at least get some sleep. But now he is crawling and is up and down continuously. So a few weeks ago tried to put him back in his cot when he woke, did some CC. Miserable failure, he screamed for 1 hour solid-until I couldn't take it anymore. So guess what, he's back in our bed? However, wonder if I am making a rod for our own back and that we'll never get him to sleep independently. Also, DS1 (just 3) has noticed and has started coming in in the middle of the night. Every morning we ache all over from clinging to the edge of the bed and not getting any sleep from active kids and stressing that DS2 will crawl of the end of the bed while I'm asleep. Help!

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FrostyTheSnowMarsLady · 05/01/2007 21:30

If you don't want to co-sleep anymore then you need a plan. Dr Richard Ferber... I can't recommend this book highly enough Sorted my DTs (twins) out in a week

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NotQuiteCockney · 05/01/2007 21:32

Yes, Ferber is excellent.

If you do want to cosleep, take steps to make it safer - is a mattress on the floor viable, so falling off isn't so much of a fear? Ideally a much bigger bed, too, so there's enough room.

There are lots of happy longer term cosleepers on here ...

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FrostyTheSnowMarsLady · 05/01/2007 21:34

(me being one of them.... though I have to confess........ I'm going to be ready to boot the DTs out soon!) Still at least they go to bed at night now.

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SarahOxon · 05/01/2007 21:39

Our bed is 6ft wide (but we get about 8 inches each!) I don't mind cosleeping if it makes him happier but I don't want him in bed with us in a years time. Should I nip it in the bud now. What is Dr Ferber's theory?

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kiskidee · 05/01/2007 21:39

I hope that it is the NEW edition of Ferber. Apparently he now does NOT recommend CC till over a year. It seems that he has changed to come into line with a lot of current sleep research in infant and toddlers that CC is not good for children under a year and ought to be put off till at closer to 3 yrs.

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NotQuiteCockney · 05/01/2007 21:39

Ah, I'm not one of them - I only did cosleeping with my boys when they were tiny.

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kiskidee · 05/01/2007 21:47

i don't intend to turn your thread into a bunfight but if you are keeping your options open at the moment, maybe you would also be interested in 'Three in a Bed' by Deborah Jackson which may also help you explore your feelings and answer some of your questions.

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MarsLady · 06/01/2007 21:17

I didn't do any real cc with Ferber. It was leave them for 1 min, then 2 mins and to be honest by the time I got to 6 mins they were completely bored and went to sleep. He speaks a lot of common sense and it's all about the cues they get at bedtime.

Anyhoo........ borrow it from the library and see what you think. Me...? I love it!

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DimpledThighs · 07/01/2007 02:03

ferber works for some and not for others. It depends if it fits your personalities, lifestyle and parenting style.

It is controlled crying and you need to front it out, but the results are quick. The fact that you are posting here makes me think that co-sleeping is not working for you. Why not give the book a read and see waht you think.

I read it and tried it for about 10mins and realised it was not for me. Read 3 in a bed - right up my street and co-slept ever since.

As I said - it all depends.... read around and see what appeals. Good luck.

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SarahOxon · 08/01/2007 21:11

Thanks everyone. Am going to order both books. What is Ferber's called? PS I got some interesting results when I googled in Three in a Bed by Deborah Jackson last night!