Bedtime for nearly four month old

[hinkyhonk]

We are having difficulty in getting our nearly four month old down in his cot at bedtime. Every time we put him in it he kicks off and gets really wound up crying. We end up bringing him back downstairs where he gets fed again then jiggled by DH to sleep at about 9.30-10. DH then transfers him upstairs to the cot at around 11 where he'll sleep until between 3 and 4, up for a quick feed then straight back to bed and sleeps until 7 or 8 depending on whether it's the weekend or not.

Daytime naps are good - we are probably moving to a four hour schedule from a three hour and are on top of getting him to have at least 90 min naps. He occasionally wakes after 30 mins but we resettle to make sure he gets enough rest.

He has two older rather noisy brothers who are rather exuberant at bedtime which I'm trying to make calmer but are a little limited. We do some sort of bedtime routine every night as he fits into the others bed time routine except for him it doesn't end in bed at the moment .

I think he is really tired so needs to go to bed earlier and DH and I need our evenings back. So the question is any ideas how to get him to bed at bedtime? How long between the end of his last nap and bedtime?

Self settling is not even an option at the moment! I can't remember what we did for the others or when apart from just plopping DS2 into his Moses basket and he just went to sleep. DS3 is clearly different.

[Skiptonlass]

We did this:

Ds was going down for his longest stretch (4-5 hours normally) from 11pm, but was grouchy in the evenings. We started a twenty ish minute bedtime routine at that time (bath, cuddles, pjs, milk) and then put him in his cot. From that point on no coming downstairs - we've brought him down once only when he was a bit poorly after his jabs.
Then we moved it forwards a bit each night so now bath time is 6pm and he's down for 6:30 ish. Again, no coming downstairs. After bedtime all feeds are quiet/dim lights. Plenty of cuddles but no playing. Resettle as needed but be totally firm on the no coming downstairs

[graysor]

I'm having similar with my 3.5 month old (although daytime naps are dreadful and no other dc to work round ).

When we put her down in her crib she just howls and no amount of shushing calms her down. We have to hold and rock/ sway till she falls asleep and then attempt a transfer to the crib. This only works once she's in a deep sleep, otherwise she just wakes and wails again.

We do all this in the bedroom, dark and quiet, and don't bring her back downstairs. Usually it's about half an hour to get her to sleep this way.

In terms of a routine, we're trying to do: upstairs, nappy change, close curtains, lights down, sing bedtime song, feed to sleep and transfer to crib.

I try to make sure it's not more than 2 hours from end of last nap to bedtime, as she is definitely tired / overtired by then. But it's hit and miss depending on how naps have gone.

Not sure that's helpful, I don't think it's a great system. But is at least kind of working for us at the moment!

[hinkyhonk]

It's all a bloody nightmare isn't it? Bedtime is 8 is this house but DS3 has only just fallen asleep for his third nap argh! Everything goes a bit to shit at the weekend when we don't have the anchor of school runs... Hopefully 30 mins now and then we can try putting him to bed around 10.

Tomorrow is another day and we'll try again. If we are up at 7, he has his first nap at 9 for hopefully 2 hrs, then up at 11, next nap at 1, needs to be up at 2.30 to be able to feed him before the school run. Nap at 4.30 for up to 2 hrs so that takes us to 6.30 and he should then be ready for bed at 8. Does that sound like a good ideal day for this age? Would mean he would have up to 5.5 hours for naps and would feed around 5 times during the day plus (hopefully) one feed overnight. Does that look right for this age? Seems like a bit too much sleep in daytime naps. But not sure how else to structure it.

[G1raffe]

Wow not sure mine managed such long baps in the day. Maybe just keep them up with you until 9 if thats when they are feeling tired and it seems to work?