Co sleep/toddler horror

(15 Posts)
Strawclutching Tue 03-Nov-15 04:17:29

Our dd 2.1 has always been a pretty grim sleeper. In the summer it had improved a lot. A few nights she slept through till 630!!! But generally the rule of thumb was up 3 times, awake at 5. We could cope with that. For the last 3 weeks she wakes at 2am and wants to come into bed with us. Once she's in bed she tantrums while one of us (usually me) calms her down. She'll sometimes go back to sleep but kicks, scratches, yells, snores etc. (very restless) then wants to get up at 430. Basically once she's in bed with us I can't sleep. I'm 21 weeks pregnant and already pretty uncomfortable. I've got morning sickness which usually starts about 4am.

She goes to bed at 630. We've tried her later but she just wakes at the same time. We've tried earlier and she takes longer to get to sleep but wakes at the same time.

She dropped her nap a couple of weeks ago.

Please tell me a magic solution. We're on the sofa at the moment. when she started her second tantrum at 345 I told her she could get up and play in the living room but in the pitch dark. She chose to lie on the sofa instead. Unfortunately she's asleep on my legs so there's no chance of me sleeping.

Help help help.

Strawclutching Tue 03-Nov-15 05:58:45

Exhausted bump

Fugghetaboutit Tue 03-Nov-15 06:02:03

What time does she go to sleep?

OffMyAyersRocker Tue 03-Nov-15 06:18:25

6.30 is too early. You need to push it back but wait a week until you see any change.

Also, l wouldn't let her out of bed until it was time to get up.

I know it's hard but you have to set boundaries and stick to them. I can remember when dd1 was this age sitting for hours in her room in the dark just rocking on her chair. She didn't necessarily go back to sleep but she soon realised it was boring.

However as you're pregnant and knackered I'd put headphones in the tablets for your dd and you can sleep on the couch grin

VocationalGoat Tue 03-Nov-15 06:19:00

Sorry...no help but complete and utter sympathy. flowers It's miserable, isn't it? I love my kids. We all love our kids, but DC3 has KILLED me. Tubes tied after this one. I can't do it anymore.
Up all night and then they buzz around all day on so little sleep like nothing happened. How do they function??
I don't know... after 3 kids, I still have no answers other than separation anxiety. DC3 does the same as your LO currently... wakes up shrieking and that's it for two hours until the next round at 3am...then up for the day at 5:30. Glorious. Then I have to face the chit chat and bright eyed bushy tailed mums at DD's school gate. envy I can't string a sentence together. Poor you though! Pregnant and morning sickness from 4am. sad That is just too difficult. It will pass, yes. But what good is hearing that now? You poor thing.

How are your days? Do you get a chance to sleep?

knaffedoff Tue 03-Nov-15 06:23:03

It sounds like she isn't getting enough sleep, is she in a full size bed? if so I would be taking her back to her own bed at night and settling her there.

You mentioned she dropped her naps, I would be looking to introduce some quiet times equivalent to naps. Good luckflowers

Eminado Tue 03-Nov-15 06:43:46

I also think she is not getting enough sleep as well.

Strawclutching Tue 03-Nov-15 06:51:18

We do quiet time at lunch for an hour. We tried later bedtime for a week. Then back to 630 for a week. Then 6 for a few days. None of it worked.

She can climb out of her cot unfortunately. I'm loathe to transfer her to a bed till Christmas as we're on holiday for 2 weeks before then and she has to sleep in a cot again.

Vocation I think I'm just going to have to take it and hope the phase ends in the next 4 months. This new baby better be a good bloody sleeper.

Strawclutching Tue 03-Nov-15 06:52:09

We even tried keeping her up till 9pm one night. Never again. <shudders>

OffMyAyersRocker Tue 03-Nov-15 06:59:37

Have you tried 7, so not a massive change but just enough to get her over? 9pm is obviously way too late!

But you do have my sympathies as dd1 did one summer starting at 5 and it bought me to my knees and that was her sleeping through until then and no pregnancy!

Cymraesfach Tue 03-Nov-15 07:04:00

I would move her to a bed, let her choose her new big girl duvet cover. Then do a few nights of Supernanny style taking her back to bed EVERY time she wakes up, no eye contact, no engaging, just "it's time to sleep". It will be difficult for a few nights but then at least it will be sorted before the new baby arrives. Only do this if you will stick to it, it's not fair on a child to start rapid return and then give up and let them into your bed.

Look into getting her a ready bed for when you go away for Christmas.

It would be better to move her into a new bed some time before the baby arrives anyway.

Good luck!

Strawclutching Tue 03-Nov-15 07:19:58

Thanks for your help everyone yes we tried 7 for a week. She was so overtired it was awful!

I'll try the bed thing when we get home before Christmas!

Slugonthewindow Tue 03-Nov-15 07:39:42

What about DH/P? I think maybe he needs to step in? Take a lead on resettling? Your health needs to come first and it'll be the same when LO is born.

You would think after two years we'd be due some good sleep!

You have my full sympathy. DS is nearly 2. Historically an awfulsleeper and only settles for me after 9 months of EBF leading to a reliance on me. He too would prefer our bed to roll around in, kick, crawl, head but, thrash, sighing and grunting, shifting and writhing. It is indescribable if you haven't experienced it. Last night was the 4th night on the trot that he woke at 3am and started shouting "mummy bed". I lay and listened to him for over an hour, snuffling, calling, dozing, calling, sighing, calling, calling, dozing etc etc etc until he finally stopped at 4.30am but there was every chance that he would have escalated to inconsolable and I'd have needed to go through to him. It's grim.

Fugghetaboutit Tue 03-Nov-15 07:43:35

Sounds like she still needs a nap. Ds will wake at 4.30/5am if he hasn't napped day before. He's a refuser but I take him for a drive/walk in buggy so he gets even half an hour and it makes so much difference - the more you sleep the more you sleep and all that.

Strawclutching Tue 03-Nov-15 16:36:47

Just to say (in case he sees this) Dh does 90% of the night work as he is way better than me. I just get her at the moment as she's going through a mum phase.

I so wish I could still get her to nap. She's only ever napped in the pushchair. Unfortunately once walks took longer than 1.5 hours and still no sleep we came to the conclusion the naps were over. I think she's s lost case! But thank you for all your sympathy.

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