My 5 month old is a textbook high needs baby that demands 110% of my attention, all the time, day and night. He's a frequent feeder (bf), hates the usual baby entertainment toys other kids his age enjoy (he's OK with the playmat, though only for about 15 mins). If he misses his nap window he is overwhelmingly cranky, yet he is also a nightmare to get to sleep (doesn't sleep in sling or stroller, only fed + rocked to sleep day and night, often fighting it). I've becom a former shadow of myself, my day revolving around making sure he's not awake for more than 1 hr 45 min (otherwise it's a disaster) -- unable to have lunch with friends because he doesn't let me sit still for more than 5 minutes.. I feel like I have a toddler trapped in a baby's body.
Because he's so difficult and because I am alone with him 90% of the time I need some perspective. As wonderful as attachment parenting is, and I'm following it as much as I possibly can, there are moments when I feel it is completely unrealistic and particularly draining on me.
Sleep is one of those things. I need to be able to get away from my baby at least once or twice a month, for a dinner or a movie, otherwise I will lose all sense of self. I'm already afraid that I may be depressed. But he doesn't sleep without me. My husband can rock him to sleep (it's a battle) but after a 30/40 min sleep cycle he will wake up and if there's no boob in sight he will be wide awake and freak out.
Cue desperate want to sleep trains Pu/pd just doesn't work on him, he gets more and more annoyed (tried it for an hour). So last night , I rocked/ fed him to drowsiness and put him into his bedside crib (we have a Snuzpod). He naturally woke right uo from his drowsy state and after about 10 mins began to wimper. I lay next to him, with my hand on his tummy, stroking his hair, telling him to sleep and Ssshing..he began to properly cry and I just kept going, not picking him up but cuddling him. He would have moments he would quieten down the cry but he never stopped crying. I lasted about 20 mins and then picking him up and rock/fed to sleep...
I just want to know whether letting him cry whilst cuddling is the same as CIO?? It feels just as awful really but I am so so so desperate to have him learn to nod off by himself.. He wakes up 3/5 times a night right now because he can't self soothe, his naps are entirely dependent on me, I feel trapped and absolutely shattered. But I also don't want to traumatise him.... Don't know what to do!
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Is this considered CIO? Am I being cruel? Help!
12 replies
cosmicdancer89 · 25/09/2015 15:54
OP posts:
shiteforbrains ·
25/09/2015 17:11
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