Cot screaming Prevention Ideas

[DadDude]

Hi

Anyone got some novel ways of getting a toddler not to stand and scream at their cot, other than the controlled crying lark please?

Ours have been so far:

1. Lie them down, show them , then switch to audio of in the night garden theme.
   
   Worked for a bit, doesn't now.
   
   
2. Lay them down with head on little pillow. Put Ducky (www.jellycat.com/images/products/large/BRD444S.jpg) over eyes. Put bottle in their mouth. Let them fall asleep on milk. Remove bottle, pillow, ducky from face.
   
   Worked till we had to get them off the teet bottle thingy.
   
   
3. Cuddle, talk a bit, tell them to lay down. Sit in their room and ignore them, periodically cuddling them to calm them, then laying them in cot again.
   
   This doesn't work.
   
   
4. Play music
   
   This worked for a couple of nights.
   
   
5. Use music/light show combo
   
   This doesn't work.
   
   
   
   Best regards
   
   Daddude

[FATEdestiny]

All five of those involve stimulation in some way (talking, music, light, videos). The youtube clips are an especially bad idea IMO - encouraging screen time right before bed is particularly not sleep inducing, regardless of what is on that screen.

How about trying calm, quiet, dark alongside comfort and reassurance?

Comfortable
Make sure your toddler is comfortable - doesn't need a wee, isn't hungry or thirsty, not too hot or cold etc etc.

Calm
TV/screens off half an hour before bedtime (at least). Calming story & cuddles before bed. Low, whispering, even toned voices.

Quiet/Dark
Blackout blinds. Maybe a night light or leave the door open (and landing light on) for reassurance, but no stimulating light show things. No music, videos, noise (maybe apart from white noise, which some children like).

Reassurance
The only method you mentioned involving your presence there for reassurance is one which means you ignore the child. How about you stay and give reassurance? Sit next to the cot and stroke his face, pat his back, tickle his hand - whatever to provide reassurance of your presence. Stay until asleep. Gradually, over time (we are talking months, not weeks) reduce the reassurance you need to give until just your presence is reassurance enough. Then just knowing you are upstairs is enough. Until the child feeds secure enough to sleep on own.

^ All done without any crying.

[DadDude]

Thank you! :)

Comfortable
Make sure your toddler is comfortable - doesn't need a wee, isn't hungry or thirsty, not too hot or cold etc etc.

--- Yes, all good points, and most of the time covered off I believe.

Calm
TV/screens off half an hour before bedtime (at least). Calming story & cuddles before bed. Low, whispering, even toned voices.

--- He doesn't watch TV other than the single 2 minute youtube clip on occasion. Cuddles, story tick tick. Was anti even using youtube but it does seem to snap him out of the angry state like nothing else, and he doesn't just go straight back angry again after. I am pretty anti TV (like my Mum was/is), but I'm not so sure these youtube clips are a bad thing... they seem to calm him.

Quiet/Dark
Blackout blinds. Maybe a night light or leave the door open (and landing light on) for reassurance, but no stimulating light show things. No music, videos, noise (maybe apart from white noise, which some children like).

---blackout blinds tick. landing light tick, light show on or off doesn't seem to make much difference, but i agree i don't think it is a help.


Reassurance
The only method you mentioned involving your presence there for reassurance is one which means you ignore the child. How about you stay and give reassurance? Sit next to the cot and stroke his face, pat his back, tickle his hand - whatever to provide reassurance of your presence. Stay until asleep. Gradually, over time (we are talking months, not weeks) reduce the reassurance you need to give until just your presence is reassurance enough. Then just knowing you are upstairs is enough. Until the child feeds secure enough to sleep on own.

--- yes sorry, we have tried all combinations of this. sometimes he gets so angry that it makes him more angry to be patted, or stroked!

Thanks for all this

[FATEdestiny]

You talk about so many different things that you have tired.

I would just pick one approach and stick with it. How old is your toddler? Old enough to understand reward charts? (you get a sticker for every five minutes you stay in bed quietly - in morning "look you've got 30 stickers, aren't you amazing!"). That kind of thing.

[returnofthehumanegg]

I don't know how old your toddler is but my daughter always hated the cot (and 16m sister going the same way) so we did a toddler bed from 18 or 20 months. It did cause some other issues with getting up and down but on the whole was easier and was also the first time she slept through. Depends on the practicalities of keeping the room safe i guess.

[DadDude]

Yes, we are actually talking about the same thing at the moment. He hates the cot. Thinking about it, before cots were invented I'm sure babies slept with their parents in caves. Seems very un-natural if you think about it. Probably why so many people are incarcerated later in life...

Thanks for replying :)

[DadDude]

He is 18 months. Not sure about reward chart yet. Would probably get hold of it and destroy it :)
Works well with 4 year old :)