Toddler sleep problems 24 months +

[clarina79]

Dear friendly folk

I am desperate for help! Since a period of illness a few months ago I have been co sleeping with my son in mine and hubby's bed.

This is the first time I have done this since birth and it requires significant compromises in our household and can't continue.

Son slept through the night and self settled in own room from 14 months to 2 years. We moved from cot to toddler bed at 21 months, and he was fine for a while.

He now won't sleep in his own bed (new bed - bought to help solve problem!), go to bed on his own (only in our bed with me lying next to him) and if I sleep in the other room he wakes and wants me to come in to cuddle, give milk etc etc. foolishly I have then just been sleeping there...

I want to transition him back to own bed. I know I need to persevere but need some tips.

For example should I start by letting him fall asleep in our bed then moving him and trying to settle in own bed to start with? Or should I go straight in and try and get him to go to bed in own bed and stay there?

any help super welcome!!

[FATEdestiny]

I think you were too soon to move him into a bed and he wasn't ready to leave his cot. A surprising amount of unconscious comfort is derived from being surrounded and "protected" on all sides with the cot. A bed can feel quite exposed and open, giving a vulnerable feeling.

My children have been 3-4 years old before they were emotionally ready for a bed.

If it was me I would step back to baby times and start again. Put the cot back up and use the same familiar bedding he used to have in his cot.

This serves several purposes. It brings back the baby security. It stops the negative associations with his own bed and own room. It physically stops him from getting out of bed. This in itself makes any sleep training easier.

Whether you choose to do this or not, you will still need to train him to sleep in his own bed and it will result in lots of stress, upset and tears.

He must go to sleep in his own bed/cot in the first place or this will not solve any problems. You should try to keep him lying down, not picking him up unless absolutely necessary. Do all of the comforting sitting next to him while his is lying down in his own bed/cot, until eventually he falls asleep where he is going to stay asleep.