Why won't my baby sleep on a schedule!?

[TS123]

My DS is 11 months old and his sleep is all over the place. I have tried to regulate his sleep by maintaining a schedule but this seem to get worse he is even more tired and cranky. Currently, he is very tired by 6:30pm. Most nights he's asleep by 7pm. Then he's awake and raring to go by 5:30am. He gets a bottle and usually needs a nappy change because he's soiled. Then he is knackered by 7:30am and will go back to sleep for another hour. He wakes by 9am, happy. Then he sleeps again after lunch for one hour (noon to 1pm). Every book I've read on sleep (Ferber, Weisbluth), suggests that kids should be on a sleep schedule. I should keep him up later, refuse to go to him until 6am then put him for 2 naps (midmorning and early afternoon). I have really tried to stick with this but I simply hate letting him cry so much, and his naps become more difficult and sometimes shorter. What do I do? Am I really doing harm to my child by not enforcing a strict sleeping schedule? I tend to prefer going with the flow but perhaps my little guy is truly overtired and sleeps in this fashion because he's crashing at bedtime and isn't sleeping well enough at night and so needs a very early nap to recover. (THis is what some authors ie Weissbluth) suggest. I don't know what to believe - I just want my son not to look so darn tired all the time.

[colditz]

have you tried not letting him have such an early nap in the morning? Keep him up for 10 minutes later every few days, until he is going about 3 hours between getting up and going back to sleep. He seems to be treating his first nap like going back to sleep to finish iff his nighttime sleep

[ScareyCaligulaCorday]

It sounds like he has got a schedule, but it's his, not Ferver's or Weisbluth's.

He's only 11 months, he's not needing to go to playgroup or anything is he, why not just let him sleep when he wants to? This won't last forever, you might find that in 3 or 4 months his schedule changes and he wakes up a bit later.

[disemboweledbint]

you might have read those books but your baby hasn't! it's fine to read these books to get a variety of opinion but really you have to read your baby's cues and go with them. does he get tired in the afternoon? maybe an afternoon nap would make for a later bed time and then a later wake up?

[lulumama]

"you might have read those books but your baby hasn't"

love that phrase!!!

throw the books out and listen to our instincts and your baby's cues....learn to listen to what he needs rather than what you or the books think he needs....

i let both of mine find their own routine...

[SCARErenity]

IMHO? Burn the damn books. They don't know your son, they weren't written about your son, how can they tell when he needs to sleep?

What happens when you just 'go with the flow'?

[Difers]

If your baby sleeps from 7pm-5.30am I would say that that spell of sleep at night is fantastic, that's 10.5hours in one stretch, I can't even imagine that and wouldn't worry at all. He's going to be a bit cranky if he's wet and hungry at 5.30am - just keep the lights dimmed and everything low key and let him get back to sleep when he's ready. Check out the NCSS thread to compare your baby to other babies. Your baby is a nightime angel!

[TS123]

When I go with the flow, he tends to be ready for bed by 6:30 or 7pm. He'll wake between 5 and 5:30am (sometimes even earlier). He doesn't go back to sleep at that hour no matter what we do (bottle, snuggle, ignore we've tried everything). After being up for 2-3 hours, he will go back to sleep. Then he'll need a nap right after lunch (noon-ish). The reason I end up turning to the books is out of frustration waking up so early with him. I realize I put him to bed very early, but when I try to put him to bed later, he seems to wake even earlier. I have tried stretching his morning nap and he is so overtired that he'll sleep 25 min and wake up crying. I also find it very hard to keep him up when he's tired (it almost seems cruel). I wouldn't mind going with the flow so long as I knew this was just a phase. However, if I am perpetuating a bad habit of waking in the early morning then I need to change things (for example, maybe if I persisted in keeping him up later, shifting his morning nap later he'd eventually sleep in later). Some friends with experience in "putting their baby on a schedule" say that it is really tough until the baby adjusts but I'm not sure that he will. Obviously I'm a tired and confused mother, but I suppose reading books is not how we learn to mother our children it's by trial and error and knowing our baby's unique needs and habits (even if they exhaust you).

[TS123]

I would truly be pleased as punch if DS slept until even 6am. I am simply just so frustrated when the clock sometimes doesn't even read 5am. I really cannot believe that he is finished sleeping at that hour. He doesn't really sleep that much during the day. He should be able to sleep at least 10.5 hours at night when his total naps don't even amount to 1.5 hours most days. That is why I'm worried that his tendency to wake so early really means he's overtired (despite sometimes sleeping 10+ hours per night).

[fruitful]

Well, he is sleeping to a schedule, and sleeping through the night, even if it isn't quite your night. He is doing pretty well.

Will he have a late afternoon nap? 4:30 ish for half an hour? Would he go to sleep if you took him for a walk/drive around then? Because if so, that would keep him going until a later bedtime. And that might reset his clock a bit so he sleeps 8 till 6:30?

Although putting him to bed later probably won't result in a later morning for a few days.

[hermykne]

ts123
that early morinng start would have me demented.
so shorten his first nap to 30mins, and let him have a bigger longer nap at noon (drag it out if you have too til he is rubbing his wee eyes) and try to push his bedtime to 7pm (bath etc ) or later, progressively over a week or 2, it wont happen immediatly but imo you have to break the early morning thing especially if you plan more , and need your decent sleep.

[TS123]

How many of you out there think that his bedtime is the problem? Is it too early? He falls asleep quickly and easily at that time, so I always assumed it was the right time. In fact, I suspect he would sleep even earlier than 7pm if I let him. I just can't imagine where this is all going, especially with the impending time change (when we will move our clocks BACK one hour!! Will I be faced with 4am wake-up times?).

[moljam]

what a great baby!i really dont see problem!

[danceswithbaby]

Problem?? What problem? Come and spend a night with my 8 month old and I'll show you a problem.

[TwigTwoolett]

you don't have a problem and you have a baby on a fairly good routine of his own

put him to bed 'before' he gets cranky .. if he's ready to sleep at 6.30pm he should be in bed then

you'll just have to live through the getting up at 5.30am phase ... and then grab some more sleep when he goes back down at 7.30am

listen to your baby .. he knows better than an book what he needs

and I'd thank your lucky stars you have a baby with such a good natural rhythm

oh and throw away the stupid books too

[hunkermunker]

[hunkermunker]

Sorry, that wasn't helpful. Agree with those who say he's in a pretty good routine of his own - and it might be as it gets darker in the mornings he'll sleep a bit longer?