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Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler.

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler.

Sleep

Nervous about not sleeping in same room as baby

23 replies

OliviaRinHerts · 15/12/2014 23:12

Ds is 4 months old... I know the general word/advice is to have baby sleep in their own room from 6 months old but I'm not sure why. I am nervous about not sleeping in same room as him, even though we have a movement and sound monitor. In fact, I just think the honest answer is I will miss him. Is it best for him for him to sleep in his own room or can he stay with us for longer? He is in his own cot now and sleeps fairly well but I plan to breastfeed longer than the 6 months ( wasn't what i had originally planned but I've come to love breastfeeding so don't want to stop) so it makes sense, to me, for us to be in the same room,

Any advice ?

Thanks

OP posts:

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MrsHarryRamsden · 15/12/2014 23:14

He's your baby, if you want him to keep him in your room, go right ahead xx

SingingSands · 15/12/2014 23:16

MrsHarry beat me to it. He is YOUR baby, do what feels right for you. You'll know when the time is right

OliviaRinHerts · 15/12/2014 23:18

Thanks for replying. He is my first so I want to do the best for him. I think I read too many books / other advice about what to do rather than trusting my judgement.

OP posts:

MrsHarryRamsden · 15/12/2014 23:23

I think the advice is to have them in your room if possible until at least 6 mths, rather than at 6 mths they must sleep in their own room. But definitely go with your own instincts, not a book

Woodenheart · 15/12/2014 23:24

DD is still in my bed with me at 19 months, I love her being near me, she will soon want to be as far away from me as possible so Im making the most of it

steppeupunderthemisletoe · 15/12/2014 23:28

go ahead and do what works for you as a family.

I did find that once they got to about 6/7 months, then they slept a bit differently. Until then, they weren't disturbed by us putting on a light at bedtime, or talking in the room, or, alarm going off in the morning. But at around 6/7 months, those things started to disturb them and we were ready for them to move.

Hakluyt · 15/12/2014 23:31

They should be in the same room as you til 6 months at least! No reason at all they can't be there for longer- they just shouldn't be for shorter.

Needingsomeadvice · 15/12/2014 23:36

Hakluyt is correct...it is at least. My son was in his cot also my bed until he was 2 and went into his own room in a bed. My DD was at least 1. I loved having them in with me...no need to rush moving your baby

Greenrememberedhills · 15/12/2014 23:39

You are quite right. Sleep in the same room.

Greencurtain · 16/12/2014 00:21

Why do you want to put him in his own room? You have your own instincts which are telling you to keep him with you so this is what you should do. I still had my eldest in when the next one was born. All of us slept in the same room for a long time.

OliviaRinHerts · 16/12/2014 09:55

I want him in my room for the company and closeness but just worried that it may not be best for him '(my sil also mentioned that he should be in his own room, for our sakes if nothing else). That said, I can't see any reason not to have him in our room and my DH definitely thinks 6 months is too young

Thanks for all the posts and reassurance

OP posts:

Woodenheart · 16/12/2014 10:54

I get the looks from people when I say DD is in my room, add in the co-sleeping & that Im 'still' BF I then get a

The way I see it, is Ive got a baby that needs feeding, comfort & closeness, I haven't got a programmable robot that I want in a separate room and to sleep when I say.

PrincessTheresaofLiechtenstein · 16/12/2014 11:02

My niece had to be in with her parents till she was 2 as they were basically living out of one room. Same with a close friend of mine and her daughter. Both girls went into their own room at 2 and were absolutely fine, settled straight away.

mupperoon · 16/12/2014 11:17

I feel the same about my 4 month old, OP. She has a lovely cotbed in her room ready for her to move sometime around 6 months, but I am loving breastfeeding (didn't think I'd say that 3 months ago) and will miss her not being in bed with me. Even though she flails around and wakes me up with her loud grunts and strains.

It's not even about instinct, it's just me being selfish!

Twickersmum76 · 16/12/2014 12:39

Just think - they're going to spend the rest of their lives sleeping in a different room - hold on to the closeness for as long as you like!!

Redling · 16/12/2014 12:51

I can't see my 4 month old in his own room so soon either, especially as he still feeds 2-3 times a night anyway. The only issue will be if we disturb him, we put him to bed in the cot before we go up now because he was being disturbed by us downstairs, and lately he stirs when we come into the room at night, we don't switch the lights on or talk above a whisper! I can't imagine lying in bed without him there though. Also I don't like knowing he's lying awake without me (I can't leave him to self settle which will probably bite me on the arse one day, but I want to rock him to sleep right now) so I'm upstairs to check on most noises, I'd probably be lying awake if he was in his own room, just listening. That said one of my friends put her 6 week old in her own room and she was fine with it, and my cousin slept in his parents bed until he was 7 :) so there's extremes!

JuanDirection · 16/12/2014 12:55

The advice is that they should be in the same room as you until they are at least 6 months old, because there is an increased risk in SIDS/cot death if they are in their own room younger than that. However, you can keep them in with you as long as you want!

OliviaRinHerts · 17/12/2014 15:06

I've heard lots of people tell me they put their babies in their own room from even a few weeks old - one woman said it was because he was so noisy and wanted their life back. I could never do that but then each to their own. My DH said this morning that he came up and I was asleep and our son was just starring at me through the bars of the cot. He said it was so sweet. When we first moved him into the big cot, the cot was right next to the bed so I could touch it. At least I've moved it a meter away from me and against the wall now !

OP posts:

bearwithspecs · 17/12/2014 23:03

Please keep him in with you if it makes you happy and comfortable. It's a very personal choice but much easier when breast feeding - both mine stayed in until about 9mths

ZenNudist · 17/12/2014 23:10

you need to do what feels best for you. Ds1 moved into his own room sometime around six months. Ds2 is still in my room now he is nearly 11 months old. It's too far for me to walk to his bedroom in the night. Plus he is too close to ds1's and I don't want them to wake each other up.

I like to be able to hear him breathing at night. I will put him in his own room soon, but no great rush.

Kelly1814 · 18/12/2014 18:53

Totally up to you, I was nervous moving DD to her own room, but she was a terrible sleeper and as soon as we moved her we all slept so much better. We were waking one another up!

Xmasbaby11 · 18/12/2014 18:54

Dd is nearly 1 and is still in our room. I love it!

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Roxie85 · 18/12/2014 23:07

Don't move him until you want to. It will do no harm and you'll eventually get to a point where sleep habits etc change and it feels right for you to move him.
Dd went into her room at 6 months as our room could only fit a travel cot and she hated the moses basket. After 4 months of a rubbish travel cot she seemed happier in a proper cot.
A friend still has her dd in with her in a bednest at 11 months and loves it.

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