9 months old and little sleep

[spinnergeologist]

My little one has just got to 9 months old and on a good night will wake up 3 to 4 times. On a bad night it will be every hour. He has never self settled and I have no idea how to get him to do it. Although things have improved vastly with his sleeping, (now he is in his cot in his room) it is a real fight to get him to sleep, involving a 20 min bf, walking for about 15 mins then cuddling for a further 20 to 30 mins for him to be asleep enough to put down. If we try before this he wakes up as you lay him down and screams. We have tried leaving him and patting and reassuring, but the screaming can go on for over a hour. He also rocks backwards and forwards and slams his head on the cot and/or kicks off the covers and our house is cold so leaving him is not a option. The big problem is that his screaming seems to have a very strong affect on me so I can only take around 20 mins before I start to break down, even if I am in another room. Several people have told me to leave him to scream, but it really is not a option if I want to keep my sanity. Is there anything else I can try other than controlled crying?

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

The reason that his screaming has a very strong affect on you is its meant to

Please don't leave your baby to cry, he will have no idea why the people he loves and usually care for him are suddenly not helping him. He needs to trust you. Leaving him to cry might help you in that you might get more sleep but all he will learn is that if he cries nobody will come.

Lots of 9 month olds are poor sleepers, have a look at this on the 9 month sleep regression.

There are things you can do though. Have you read 31 ways to get your baby to sleep and alternatives for the all night nurser?

The book the No Cry Sleep Solution is good too

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Almost forgot, have a look at this on normal infant sleep. This website was developed to give parents evidence based information that they can easily access and read before making any decisions on their child's sleep

[Littlef00t]

Can't offer many suggestions about sleep training, but have you tried a gro bag to stop him kicking off blankets.

My dd could kick off a swaddle from weeks old so blankets weren't even a challenge. Gro bag fab though.

[processedbeats]

Can't offer much advice but my 9 month old is the same...we co-sleep, he wakes up 5-6 times a night, sometimes nurses but other times just needs to be cuddled...he also talks to himself in sleep and last night laughed?? My only solution is lots of coffee during the day, sorry

[Hallloumi]

Again no advice but we managed to get our 9 month old to learn to self settle at around 7 months BUT she still wakes multiple times a night and often needs patting, singing etc to get back to sleep. I'm actually more tired than when I was bf 3-4 times a night but getting 2-3 hour blocks of sleep in-between feeds. So self soothing hasn't really worked for us.

[spinnergeologist]

Thanks for the help and support all, I will look at those links JiltedJohnsJulie. I thought grobags were working for a bit Littlef00t but now he hates them and its actually more of a challenge to get him to sleep in one than out. I think its going to be a case of waiting it out and ignoring everyone who tells me leaving him to scream is the best way.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Yes, sounds like listening, smiling, nodding then doing things your way is the way forward