Please help - my 7.5 month old still waking up several times a night

[laurajaneclements]

Hi this is my first time on here and I hope someone might be able to give me some advice...
My 7.5 month old is a happy, smiley, little boy during the day but at night is so unsettled. He's never slept well but we're now at the stage of 2 hours without waking is a good session.
I don't believe he is waking because he is hungry. I'm breastfeeding and he has one feed during the night, around 2am but he is eating SOOO well during the day, milk and solids. He is active and well-stimulated so he must be tired. He has been better at napping for the last couple of months - he usually has a longer nap in the morning and a shorter nap in the afternoon (in his cot if we're at home or in the car/pushchair if we're out).
All the advice I seem to find says to have a consistent bed time routine, which we have been doing for several months - bath, story, feed, bed around 7.30pm. Then it says put them down in the cot and they'll go to sleep - like it's that easy. We've been working on getting him to go to sleep himself but I won't let him cry it out (the odd time we have tried, he has ended up hysterical). So he goes down half asleep. Hubby and I are sleeping separately (luckily we have a spare room!) and doing half a night each - one of us with the monitor, one in the spare room.
Then the fun starts - he can sometimes wake every 30/45/60 minutes which is so exhausting. Sometimes, all we need to do is pop his dummy back in, but generally he is quite upset and won't settle until he's picked up.
I don't feel like we're doing anything wrong, but equally I feel like I want to try doing something. I know "it'll get better" as I keep being told but I think it's ok to hope that by 7.5 months we might be getting a bit more sleep? Or am I just expecting too much?
Sorry that this is so long, but wanted to give the full story.
Thank you in advance.....

[feekerry]

Hi.
Ds is 7.5m too. He also wakes often at night (maybe 3-5 times from 10pm onwards, not too sure as I have given up checking times etc!)
He too eats loads in the day and bf still too. Just recently I have found boobing him does make him go back to sleep and he really takes a fair amount of milk which surprises me as he eats loads in they day. So maybe he is genuinely hungry??
I too always try dummy first then if that doesn't work then boob.
Is he napping enough at day? If not he may be over tired by bed time and difficult to put down?
Tbh I found with both my dc's 7-12 months was always the hardest due to teething and eating different solids. Neither of mine have been those put down drowsy types lol if it makes you feel any better. Both mine turned out to be great sleepers in the end past 12/13m and I have avoided any crying it out etc. mainly just doing what I had to do to get thru (bring into my bed etc) share nights with partner etc

[feekerry]

I know all babies are different but ds is a nightmare to put down and wakes loads of he doesn't nap every 2 to 2.5hrs. Just re read your bit about shorter afternoon nap and bedtime 7.30pm so maybe he is in a middle with his naps?

[ipswichwitch]

Been there with DS1 now here again with DS2 - 9mo. He won't go down drowsy, just wakes and screams. He wakes every hour until we end up taking him to bed with us.
Unfortunately, we've always been a bit quick to comfort him as he screams like he's being murdered and was waking DS1, whose poor sleep was caused by sleep apnoea, and we couldn't risk DS2 waking him. Now he can't self settle at all. We have tried waiting a few min before going to him but he gets hysterical. Also tried PUPD but again resulted in hysteria. Seems he just can't cope with sleeping alone, as whenever we've just had him downstairs with us til we go to bed (usually due to illness/teething) he's slept til about 10!
We don't really know what to do about it, so I'm sorry not to be more help!

[ipswichwitch]

Oh and shh/pat just enrages him too!

[HP21]

I could have written your post myself and I am sending you all of the sympathy in the world!

I did post much the same last week and had some really good suggestions.

Firstly, my little girl had suddenly started loving her solids and had started pushing apart her milk feeds. Someone suggested that she wasn't getting enough milk during the day. I've upped her feeds to what they used to be and this seems to have helped.

Secondly, someone told me to persevere with controlled crying. I had tried this before and, like you, had given up as my little girl would get hysterical and do panicky hiccupy breathing. All I needed was a kick up the bottom from someone else to try it again. I have been doing it every day this week and it seems that eventually she does get passed the hysteria and fall asleep. It's hard and my husband can't handle hearing her cry like that, but it has got easier every day :)

So a week on from hourly wakings and she's only waking up once or twice a night.Not perfect and not as good as she used to be; however, I put these wakings down to teething, wind due to digestive system getting used to solids and her learning to sit/ roll/ crawl.

Best of luck!

[laurajaneclements]

Thank you all so much. Sometimes it's just good to know you're not alone!
Does anyone know anything about dreams? A few times he's been fast asleep and yet properly crying, could he be having a bad dream or am I just grasping for an answer???

[sallysimpson]

My ds does the sleep crying thing sometimes. I put it down to bad dream (about milk shortage?!) Or maybe wind? If he gets worked up i pick him up rouse him slightly talking softly thrn put him back down. My 7.5 month ds is still waking up during the night too, i feel your pain

[HappyLucyLou]

laurajaneclements I really do feel for you you must be exhausted. Have you tried sleep training? Routines are so important and looks like you've got one down, but I did sleep training with my little boy and he's pretty much slept though since. I didn't do the cry it out technique as I couldn't cope with the crying, it would just upset me. Sleep training takes a good couple of weeks but is well worth it in the end. If you are interested I could give you a few pointers of what I did and you could give it a go?

[laurajaneclements]

That would be great HappyLucyLou, thank you - I'll take any advice available! :)

[HappyLucyLou]

OK so so far you've said you put him down to sleep half asleep so your first hurdle is to put him down fully awake, after his nice calming bedtime routine. When I did this I put my son down and put my hand on his chest and kept it there. If he started to get really upset I'd pick him up then once he settled put him back down and hand on chest again. Don't pat or rub him as this will stimulate him, just place you hand on him. This way he knows you are there. tell him it's sleep time and occasionally sshhhhhhh him (don't keep talking to him as this will stimulate him too) I used calm music with my son and still do but that's up to you. If he's used to lots of cuddles before going to sleep it make take awhile for him to drop off to sleep, but if you stay consistent (hand on him, sshhhhhhing him, no talking and patting) he will eventually drop off to sleep. He may shock you and go off really quick or the first few times may take forever but eventually this will become normal to him. Like I say if he starts crying loads pick him up and calm him then do the same thing.

Once you've cracked that bit the next is to get him to sleep without your hand on him, to do this place you hand on him at the beginning, then take it off. If this upsets him, place your hand back on him till he stops crying and take it off again. The aim is for him to fall asleep without your hand on him which again may take awhile but he will eventually, to the point you won't need you hand there at all.

Once you've cracked that bit and you no longer need to put your hand on him, sit in a chair away from the cot in his line of sight (i used to read a book or something as it's hard work and a bit boring just sitting there) again if he cries go to him shhhh him settle him then sit away from him again Once he's used to this go further and further away until you are in the door. Then keep leaving the room, if he cries stand in the doorway again, until he stops. Eventually after doing this I was able to put my son to bed, give him a kiss, leave the room and wouldn't hear from him until morning. I realise its a REALLY long method but it saves all the crying. If you don't like the cry it out technique I think it's the best option. Me and a good few of my friends have done this method and all had the same results.

If your son wakes in the night, which he most likely will for awhile during sleep training, do exactly what you did to get him to sleep that night. If it was holding your hand on him do that, if it was standing in the doorway, go in settle him then stand there for a bit. I really do believe it will eventually work and once your son learns to settle himself without you there, when he wakes in the night he should be able to do the same then.

Realise I have gone on a bit but not sure how to explain it otherwise! Hope if you go for it it works for you!

[carolinementzer]

My DD would wake every 1-2 hours until she was 14 months. We were so tired. In the end my husband set up a camp bed next to her cot and when she woke he just shhh-ed her or spoke softly, no touching or picking up until she went back to sleep. I couldn't do it because she just wanted milk from me. There was some crying, but she was never alone. Incidentally we did try leaving her alone once and she got so upset she vomited everywhere (never again). But with my husband there she didn't get hysterical. It took 5 nights then she slept 9 hours straight. After a few more weeks we finally got 11 hours in a row - miracle. Here's our story if you're interested - mydaughterwontsleep.com/2014/02/06/is-breast-best-when-it-comes-to-sleep-apparently-not/

I blog about my daughters sleep - there's loads of quick settling tips - like the acupressure sleep inducing point that helps babies sleep quicker and deeper. Plus I'm a firm believer in feeding sleep inducing foods before bedtime and really watching out for anything over stimulating like sugar, sweet yoghurt or anything with colourings / preservatives / e numbers etc. My daughter reacted badly to these and got wired and unable to sleep. Good luck!

[laurajaneclements]

Thank you all so much for your help, I really appreciate it. The last two nights haven't been too bad so fingers crossed!