4mo catnapper- all advice welcome!

[Proudmummy2014]

Hey ladies,

I'm after some advice please for my 4mo little catnapper. I'm so isolated and feel that I can't get out with her as she is very cranky and cries as she is tired. I've paid for some baby yoga and swimming classes and end up leaving half way through as she's screaming because of tiredness (even though she's only been awake for an hour).

Our day currently looks like this:

7am- wake up and feed
9am-9.45am- self settles for nap
11am- feed
12am-12.35am- self settles for nap then I have to go straight to her and rock her to sleep. She then sleep for another 40mins

3pm- feed
4.15pm- 5pm- nap
5.45pm- bath and massage and feed
7pm- in bed

I just cannot understand why she is so tired after her morning nap and why i have to rock her back to sleep in the afternoon. She completely self settles.

Could someone please help me. I'm sorry of this has been covered but as it's such a long thread i haven't had a chance to read it all yet.

Thank you :-)

[mrsmugoo]

I can't give you any advice unforutnanately as my 6 month old has been a 40 minute napper since birth with no sign of any real change. We get the odd (and I mean odd) long sleep but usually it's 30-40 minutes tops leaving me with a cranky, overtired baby at least half of the time.

I've tried everything - putting down earlier, putting down later, wake to sleep, self soothing, not feeding to sleep, cot naps, pram naps EVRYTHING…he still wakes up after 30-40 minutes.

I guess it's just the way he is. There is nothing "wrong" with him - babies are hard work and we can't control them we just have to manage them!

[hollie84]

Totally normal I'm afraid!

[Proudmummy2014]

I wouldn't mind so much if she was happy and that amount of sleep was sufficient for her but she is so cranky and irritable. In public people always ask me "oh has she had her nap". So annoying because she has had a nap it just clearly not enough for her it would seem

[mrsmugoo]

Yep same! Cranky and tired. I can no more make him sleep proper naps than I can make him sleep through the night - he'll get there (or not) in his own sweet time.

Feel free to come join our catnappers and crap sleepers support thread :)

[Proudmummy2014]

@mrsmugoo- do you go to any classes with your son? If so how do you manage this with his naps and crankiness? I really want to take her to places and feel that I can't. It's not healthy for me to just stay at home all day

[hollie84]

Is she definitely tired and not hungry?

[mrsmugoo]

Yes we go to Mum & Baby yoga which is 10:30-12. If I walk there it's a 45 minute walk so he always gets a nap in the pushchair on the way there and then I have lunch after in a cafe next door with the other mums and walk home and he naps on the way home.

Tomorrow we are starting water babies which is at 12:15. He will have his morning nap in the cot (has been (9:30-10 the last few days ugh) and probably a small sleep in the car on the way there too (it's about 15-20 min drive). I'm not sure how the rest of the day will pan out as it's a new class but we'll muddle on through I'm sure.

[mrsmugoo]

I've spent the whole summer taking him out on long walks and lunches out knowing that he'll definitely have a nap in the pushchair on the way there/back - definitely don't stay home the whole time. Babies need sunlight and fresh air - it actually helps them sleep.

[Proudmummy2014]

@hollie84- she's definitely hungry as her swimming is at 11am and I feed her at 10.30am on that day and she will still cry during swimming and every other day aswell.

@mrsm- that sounds brilliant. In my case she has set nap times of 9am, 12pm and 4pm-ish. I've tried going on walks/drives at other times and she will stay wide awake if it's not her usual nap time. Which makes it awkward for my then 11am swimming lesson for her as for some reason she's sooo cranky after her 9am nap. I just can't figure it out as I would think 45mins is decent for a morning nap?!

[mrsmugoo]

If I were you i would scrap "set" nap times and just go by her tiredness cues. Sometimes she will need longer or shorter awake times depending on her night sleep, level of activity etc…

I used to be able to set the clock by his naps but as he's got a bit older his wake time is extending and his naps are mostly short but sometimes longer so it's all over the shop - I just go by when he's tired.

[Proudmummy2014]

@mrsm- her "set nap times" are actually based on her natural rhythm. I've just realised over time that these are the times she gets tired by and needs to sleep

[MumOfTheMoos]

Try 'the no cry nap solution' by Elizabeth pantley - it's got a great section on cat nappers. DS went through a terrible phase but with this books d a bit of persistence he was napping beautifully - at one point he used to have a 3 hour afternoon nap - it was bliss!

[mrsmugoo]

I didn't actually rate the section on catnapping in the no cry nap solution.

My DS already self settles and goes down awake in his cot - but he still wakes up after 30-40 minutes.

her suggestions focus on babies that are being fed to sleep, put down asleep and sleeping in bouncers/pushchairs etc…e.g. the cycle blender to use motion to transition through sleep cycles.

[hollie84]

Both of mine have started out at catnappers and eventually settled into longer naps - I think ultimately it is developmental and not something you can train them to do.

[rootypig]

How is she when she goes down for her first nap? grizzly? or content until she sleeps?

I ask because the 90 minute rule worked for us for a long time - first nap 90 minutes after waking - prevented the rest of the day being a washing machine cycle of over tiredness. If they're overtired when they go down, they sleep for less time than if they get to sleep before that point. DD quite often had a longish first nap of an hour - hour and a half.

So I would move her first nap forward a bit if you can.

[Proudmummy2014]

@hollie- that's reassuring and I hope she does settle in to sleeping longer periods. She does self settle which is one hurdle down.

@rootypig- she's quite content however I can see she's rubbing her eyes and yawning at around 8.30am so I put her down straight away and she falls asleep by 8.55am/9am.

With the 90minute rule do you mean she should be asleep by 90minutes or I should put her down for the nap at 90mimutes?

[rootypig]

asleep by 90 minutes, ideally.

[Shahsham]

DS2 is 4 months. Rarely self settles tho that is more due to noise from his big brother!

His first nap often starts 60-65 mins after waking. Its 45mins usually and after that he is very cheerful.

I find he prefers starting to nap after being awake 75-90mins rather than any longer. Except at the end of the day when he can stay awake 2-3 hours.

He has 4 naps a day and goes to bed around 8pm.

All this is his choice, Im following his leads

[Shahsham]

First nap is 60-75 mins after morning wakeup

[rootypig]

Ah yes should have said, 90 minutes max

An hour would be great too.

[Shahsham]

DS2 loves 2-3 hour naps in the sling too. Often if he only has a catnap I can get him back to sleep again after less than an hour awake (otherwise he's grizzly)

I feel your pain tho. DS1 is an awful sleeper. He rarely napped and still doesnt sleep through the night aged 3. On the other hand he's almost always cheerful - its me that is very grumpy from sleep deprivation!

[Proudmummy2014]

Thanks everyone for your replies. If I do the first nap at 8.30am and she only sleeps for 45 mins again then the next nap would have to be at 10.45am- but she feeds at 11am so how would that work?

[hollie84]

Just feed her at 10.30 instead?

[rootypig]

First nap 90 mins after waking, after that I found she could go slightly longer stretches. No, babies make no sense to me either

Don't worry about plotting out some schedule, try moving the nap forward and see how she responds.