Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler.

1 2

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler.

Sleep

Help! dd 2.5 getting up 2-3 times a night

28 replies

cardy · 22/08/2006 09:36

This is getting progressively worse. DD started getting up in the middle of the night and coming in to our bed. Usually after a drink of milk she would go back to her own bed and go back to sleep. However now she is coming in 2-3 times a night and even after a drink isn't settling unless me or DH sit with her until she goes to sleep - as you can probably imagine this is exhausting. We have tried just putting her back in her bed but she just cries then gets back up and comes back into our room, this can go on a number of times. We haven't pursued this for very long because of the fear that her crying will wake up dd1 (aged 5).

Does anybody have any experience of this? Any advice?

By the way, this all started shortly after we made the transistion from cot to bed (about 4 months ago). When we ask her why she does it she says 'to see mummy and daddy'.

OP posts:

Report

cardy · 22/08/2006 09:55

bump - I am very sleep deprived!

OP posts:

cardy · 22/08/2006 11:49

Final plea....can anybody help this sleep deprived zombie

OP posts:

izzybiz · 22/08/2006 18:23

Hi, I dont really have any answers im afraid. Am sort of in the same boat though.
My dd is 2.3 she was waking 2-3 times a night for milk!
Iput her in a bed last night for the first time and took her bottle away, she has a stair gate on her bedroom door though to stop her coming in to us.
She went off ok, but when she woke early hours for her bottle there was hell to pay!

Just wanted you to know you arent alone. Hope we get it sorted soon!!

spinach · 22/08/2006 18:33

oh god i know how you feel. dd nearly 3 and still wakes 2-3 times. Doesnt want anything...except 'a cuddle'. Have moved through various stages of having to sit with her till she nods off again... now i can usually send her back to bed if i give her quick cuddle. She seems mainl to need reassurance that i'm still there (recently was called away in middle of night, spent few days away and dd has been insecure ever since). Most nights she ends up in my bed by 4am.... at which point I'm too tired to argue.... am slowly making progress, some nights she sleeps in own bed but not without getting up.

Only advice i can offer is:

provide a cup of water in her room, say that theres no milk at nightime.

When she gets out of bed take her back to her bed, calmly explain that she has to go back to sleep... tuck her in and leave (this took me ages to do and dd didnt like it... I couldnt leave her to cry so kept going back to soothe her)

Its really hard isnt it! I'm trying to get this sorted before dd2 arrives later this year!

Hayls · 22/08/2006 18:34

My guess is that she loves yur company! My dd (2.7)does this occasionally- she used to do it almost every night. IT was more of a problem when we put her down rather than during the night, although she went through a phase of getting up once or twice in the early hours. It is hard but we just led her back to bed without talking to her. Her record was about 50 times one night and it took us about 90 minutes from when she went to bed but persistence really paid off as she soon got the message that there was nothing to gain from getting up (i.e no communication). However, when we put her back during the night she would happily go back to sleep and she didn't need milk so our situation is a bit different to yours but I think the same logic applies!
My advice is to have a couple of upset nights(apologies to dd1 but you wil all benefit in the long run!)and keep puttin gher back to bed. My dd would try all sorts, saying she loved me, she had a sore tummy etc but we were firm. Held her hand, tucked her in and gave her a kiss so she didn't feel insecure then left her (until she got up again 1 1/2 minutes later

HTH. IT is horrid. I am now frantically touching lots of wood in case dd starts doing it again!
What we also now do is put a classical music cd on in her bedroom when she goes to bed as I think it distracts her a bit and she forgets to get up before she falls asleep. She then stays in her bed all night unless there is something wrong (CD lasts about 45 minutes and we go ina nd unplug it when she's asleep) This might not work for you during the night tho!

spinach · 22/08/2006 18:34

other thing that i havent yet tried.... apparently, some people just prefer sleeping in a particular direction.... is her bed in the same direction as her cot used to be? Is her bed in the same direction as your bed? I may try this soon, I'm that desperate!

Hayls · 22/08/2006 18:35

Hmm, my idea only really works if your dd keeps getting out of bed, as mine did. If she would just lie there and cry that is a bit different as I'm not sure I could have left her without going in and soothing her, which kinda defeats the puropse!

cardy · 23/08/2006 11:17

Thanks for these suggestions. It's also reassuring to know that she isn't the only one but for you too. I realise that we'll just have to get tough with her and the sooner the better. DD1 is on school holidays so it's proabaly the best time for her to have a few disturbed nights. Also my mum has offered to have dd1 for a night or two.

The stange thing is is that she was a good sleeper until she went from a bed to cot. I've even threatened to put her back in a cot. I've also tried leave milk and water for her to help herself to during the night, she just doesn't.

MIL suggested that we give her a little smack (I'm not going to get into that debate now) or sedate her! Was she serious?!?

OP posts:

Hayls · 23/08/2006 11:50

I would hope she wasn't serious! It's just a case of retraining her i think. She has just realised she can get out of bed and enjoys practising! Hope you get it sorted- it took us quite a while but it does work. Let us know how you get on!

cardy · 23/08/2006 12:15

So do I, not sure though! I think we'll give it a go this weekend...I try and prepare her by talking to her first.

OP posts:

cardy · 05/09/2006 15:50

Was just wondering if anybody had made any progress with this. We have slightly, but are by no means there yet. DD still gets up every night but instead of letting her in our bed or staying with her 'till she goes to sleep we put her straight back in her own bed and do not stay with her. This seems to work sometimes however other times she cries and cries (we end up doing the controlled crying thing which eventually works - anthing from 5 minues to an hour). The problem is that she has been waking DD1.

The thing that I think is going to be more difficult to acheive is to stop her getting up in the first place. She must recognise by now that is achieves nothing and she just gets put back in her own bed, yet not a night goes by with her getting up. Any advice appreciated.

OP posts:

bakedpotato · 05/09/2006 16:04

have you tried starcharts?

cardy · 05/09/2006 16:16

I haven't, I wasn't sure she would understand at 2.5 but I'll try anything!

OP posts:

littlemadam · 05/09/2006 16:18

Can't offer any advice, just sympathy, we are in the same boat!! DD is 2.5 and just going through the milk/wee/teddy/kiss going to bed delaying tactics, and waking 2 or 3 times in the night...put her bed in with DS which seemed to help, but am now concerned about her waking him...think have made big mistake, anyone with good bribe to get her in her own bedroom???

cardy · 05/09/2006 16:23

Funny you should say that. Last night I put DD2 back into bed for the third time and left her to cry for 10 minutes in the meantime DD1 got up and went into her room, it went quite after I minute or two I went in to find them both cuddled up going to sleep. I guess it would have been easy to leave them but I told DD1 to go back to bed. DD2 cried but eventually went to sleep.

DD1 seems to have more effect on DD2 than DH and I do!

OP posts:

Redlorry75 · 05/09/2006 16:30

I stumbled on a tactic, completely by accident and it works a treat. DD (3 at end of month) loves Ladybirds, so I gave her my fridge magnet ladybird for her radiator. But I say it is only there for good girls to keep them company and talk to (was going to say look after - then thought what happens if we loose it and she get scared without it). If she wakes in the middle of the nigh I tell her to ask the ladybird not to wake her up again- otherwise I'll have to take it out of the room. Works a treat!

bakedpotato · 05/09/2006 16:42

I'd definitely give starchart a pop. worked with dd around this age. key is to talk and talk about it in advance.
get her involved, let her choose the stickers at woolies, see you drawing up the chart.
and talk about it some more before you start -- to grandparents, visitors etc. let her hear you banging on excitedly/proudly about what a big girl she is, how she's giong to stay in bed quietly all night long, like her big sister.
then if she manages it make massive hullaballoo, stickers, trumpets, celestial choirs etc.
ring the grandparents etc to tell them the news when she is in the room, get her to talk to them about it too.
basically big up every progression, and try not to respond to failures (quick return, as you are doing) so she realises the way to get your attention is to do what you want her to do.
also ladybird idea is great.
i didn't bother with any reward other than stickers. the sticker is enough of a treat at this age I think.

bakedpotato · 05/09/2006 16:44

also, someone on MN advised giving children coping mechanisms for night waking... ie, it's fine to wake up a bit in the night, evyerone does it, but it's not fine to wake everyone else up.
when you wake up, hug teddy/thumb in mouth/turn over and go back to sleep.

cardy · 05/09/2006 16:59

Thanks BP. I'll give that a go. The one night that she just went straight back to bed was helped by cuddling a teddy (the next night she threw it!). I've tried lots of praise about being a big girl etc. so perhaps what she needs is somthing more visible like a starchart.

OP posts:

littlemadam · 05/09/2006 20:36

I'm going to try a star chart tomorrow!! Think she might understand it...if not, then radiator magnets are go!!! I would give anyting for a weeks unbroken sleep

cardy · 06/09/2006 15:21

me too, the thought of 8 hours sleep without getting up 2/3 times and night would be heaven!

The thing I don't know how to change is that when she does wake up for her to manage to go back off to sleep without getting up, crying, needing someone with her. I talk to her about it everynight before she goes to sleep and she agrees that she won't get up....but does.

OP posts:

littlemadam · 06/09/2006 16:39

That's the problem isn't it?? They are so tired and teary that it seems impossible to get them back off. Wish I had an answer....

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

cardy · 06/09/2006 16:49

A friend of mine went to sleep clinc with her 7 month old and was told 6 months and 2.5 are notorious ages for sleep problems. What I don't know is how to solve it in a 2.5 yo. The only thing I've been doing in reassuring her, putting her back into bed and going back at 4 minute, 6 minute, 8 minute intervals etc. however this doesn't solve the problem of waking and getting up nor is it easy at 2/3/4am!

OP posts:

littlemadam · 06/09/2006 17:38

Amen to that!! Well cardy, will be thinking of you when I am up at 4am tomorrow morning. It does seem sometimes as if nobody else is going through it, all my friend seem to have good sleepers!!

FrannyandZooey · 06/09/2006 17:55

I know people who have dealt with this by putting a small mattress on the floor and saying "If you want to come in and see us in the night, you can come and sleep on this little bed here, but you must tiptoe in and not wake Mummy and Daddy up." It is normal for them to not want to sleep alone - it would be a shame to make a discipline issue out of normal and natural fears and her desire to be with you.

Flip

1 2

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.