High Needs Baby Support Group (thread V)

(351 Posts)

A new thread for a new year! smile

The original thread was to support those of us with babies fitting the following criteria:

1. Feeds frequently daytime
2. Feeds frequently nighttime
3. Needs to be constantly held
4. Wont sleep alone
5. Hates the car seat/pram
6. Short naps

Some of our babies have grown out of some of those now, but we're still here to support each other through the sleepless nights and noisy car journeys and to offer hugs, chocolate and wine to anyone who's struggling.

So if that list sounds familiar then come and join us as we delight in our active, inquisitive, curious and restless babies or toddlers!

Hugs Joyful (don't care we're not supposed to 'hug'). I hope you feel better soon.

Nightmoves Sat 12-Jan-13 21:23:58

<lays out new york vanilla cheesecake and wine for joyful and exits as baby has woken up again>

Nicknamenotavailableeither Sat 12-Jan-13 21:36:30

Can I join in please? I definitely have a high needs baby and have been all over any books I can find by Dr Sears, I love them! Such a big help with my ds who is 8 weeks.

It was a bit if a shock after my dd who slept through from early on!

I feel a bit at odds with a lot of my other mummy friends. A lot if them do Gina Ford style routines hmm and don't really get the whole ap thing...

Hopefully I can chat on here about it instead! grin

Natmu Sun 13-Jan-13 04:45:18

Welcome Nickname. This is the perfect place to chat about ap and HN babies! Support and advice here couldn't be better. I'm extra lucky as I have a friend in RL who also has a HN baby but it can feel very isolated at times when all around you are spouting Gina Ford. Load of old nonsense IMO.

Tell us about your LO. How are you coping? I was still in meltdown when DS2 was 8 weeks but you sound pretty chipper. What strategies have you found?

<sidles in>

<scoffs cheesecake and wine>

<replaces with cinnamon apple crumble and custard>

<sidles out>

ticklemyboobsofsteel Tue 15-Jan-13 09:29:25

<wanders in, in a daze>

<spies crumble and custard>

<scoffs a piece> <licks fingers>

<spies leftover brew from days ago>

<guzzles>

Any caffeine will do right now, I'm not fussy! DS has been DREADFUL the last two nights. He's 18 months in two days and seems to have hit the 18-month sleep regression/developmental period bang on time. He refused his afternoon nap with a vengeance yesterday - never heard anything like it! He's been up every two hours again, just like his entire first 13 months. Argh! Plus he has canines, a cough and cold and I suspect 2-year molars on the way too. Poor little fella. Spent the last two nights with him in his nursery. This too shall pass... <repeats ad finitum).

I hope you are all doing okay - have a lovely Tuesday!

<leaves out freshly brewed brew and tray of naice biscuit>

Blimey, he doesn't do things by halves does he? confused

We're puttering along the same as usual here. I tried introducing small amounts of dairy back into my diet as DS is now one (I even had a creme egg - it was bliss!). Sadly after 48 hours he spent the night crying with cramps, wind, writhing and nasty poo, just like when he was tiny. So I'm back off the dairy again.

Nightmoves Tue 15-Jan-13 20:30:17

<pours big brew coffe and adds lots of sugar>

Joyful!! Good to see you. Too bad about the dairy. Hope you made the most of it. At least you got to sample a cream egg, 'tis the season apparently.

Tickle at least your DS is punctual with his regressions. Hope it passes quickly. We are still in 9 month hell with 2hr 'up and want to play' session added to our list of nightly complaints. Mainly 3-5. So so hard to get him back down. And the rolling, standing, sitting, lying, rolling!! It is almost like a compulsion. I swear he could be fast asleep in my arms and I think I have cracked it, when he wrenches himself away in an attempt to sit, still half asleep. Mental. He also has a bad cough. We co-sleep
So can't raise the bed and am wary about pillows. Any tips ladies?

Hope you are all muddling along.

Natmu Wed 16-Jan-13 03:29:02

Oh my fucking GOD!! I have been struggling with a writhing screaming baby for HOURS! He is driving me INSANE!!! I don't have a clue what's wrong. Had wind, burped, did a big poo, changed nappy, gave Calpol for teeth, walked up and down ad infinitim, now feeding again purely because he can't cry with a boob in his mouth. So I'm crying instead.

ticklemyboobsofsteel Wed 16-Jan-13 09:39:00

<hug> Natmu. I hope you managed to get some rest. Had our worst night yet here. Was awake for an hour and a half from 9pm refusing to go in his cot after he coughed himself awake, wouldn't settle in between DH and I, so again I ended up with him cuddled up with me on the sofa. Got him in his cot eventually (fast asleep) at 11.30pm but then from 3am onwards he was with me again. Poor little fella - it's so hard seeing them ill, and it feels like he's been poorly for weeks now. He was just shouting and shouting, even though we were right next to him - when are they old enough to understand that shouting that loud with a sore throat is only going to make it worse?!

I feel shattered, but at least I work from home mostly so don't have to get up to commute. I do tomorrow morning though <prays for a better night tonight>

DH and DS cuddled up on the sofa with Ceebeebees on. It's about all we can muster for now. Seems to distract DS from his cough/cold/teeth though, so I'm not worried about too much TV today.

I hope you ladies are doing okay this morning. Work beckons. Sigh.

<re-inserts caffeine drip>

Natmu Wed 16-Jan-13 13:17:00

Sorry for shouty capitals and sweary post in the night blush Thanks for hugs Tickle. Sorry to hear DS is ill. Hope he improves very soon. Ceebeebies perfect for times like these. Anything goes as a distraction when they're ill. Good luck with the sleep tonight <hugs>.

(((hugs))) and brew for everyone

Nothing new to report sleepwise here. However we're currently waiting to see whether DD develops chicken pox, as there's been a case at her preschool. And this morning I saw my GP for a medication review and for the first time in my life was absolutely honest about my mental health. As a result I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and am being referred to a psychiatrist. confused

Natmu Thu 17-Jan-13 20:04:46

Oh my word joyful. What a momentous day. How do you feel about it? It must have taken a lot of courage to open up like that. I have just started a thread in mental health today about my BIL who has undiagnosed problems. What do you think led you to talk about it all today?brew or wine for you depending on how you're feeling!

Thanks Natmu. I started a thread the other day about TimeToChange's new campaign, about being open about mental health and it got me thinking. So I wrote down all my symptoms and it was a rather longer list than I expected. DH suggested that I give the list to the GP (I really struggle to talk face-to-face about this stuff) so I did. And voila, I'm even more nuts than we thought! grin

Nightmoves Thu 17-Jan-13 20:25:37

That must have been really difficult joyful. Well done. Sounds like you have a good GP too. Hope your referral doesn't take too long to come through for you and that you're feeling positive about the whole thing.

ticklemyboobsofsteel Thu 17-Jan-13 21:26:33

I think I'm going to go fucking insane if DS's cough/cold/teeth/sleep regression combo doesn't fuck the fuck off soon! He's beyond shattered and so are we. Please, please, please let him sleep a while so we can!

(sorry about the swears. It's been a long, long, long week)

Joyful You know how proud I am of you for what you achieved today. I hope you'll be referred quickly and you can begin to feel better.

MIL taken another downturn, but won't talk too much about that.

Sigh. DS coughed awake for the zillionth time since he crashed out at 6.15. I'm struggling sad

Natmu Thu 17-Jan-13 22:00:19

tickle I'm really feeling for you. It's got to start getting better soon I'm sure. Not much I can say other than I feel your fucking pain and ((hugs)) Find some strength inside. You will make it.

Joyful I saw your other thread and wondered if that had jogged you into action.

ticklemyboobsofsteel Fri 18-Jan-13 00:56:56

Wrote a message but MN ate it.

Thanks Natmu. Appreciate the hugs.

Something just happened with DH, and as a result I feel completely and utterly shit. Completely unreasonably probably, but I don't think I've felt as unvalued as I do right now. Just tired, probably. I was trying to give DS some nurofen and he spat it out (granted I tried to give him it when he was screaming, so bad idea but was desperate for him to take it and try and sleep) and so I came downstairs to our bedroom as I needed a break (I've dealt with 90% of his night wakings since he's been ill, slept holding him, etc). DS cried more because I left the room but I needed just a little bit of distance. Told DH I'd had enough, which was probably a bit overdramatic. He threw back the bedcovers, got up and told me in what felt like a not very nice manner to 'go to sleep'. I asked why he was being like that and that I'd dealt with DS for the last three awful nights and just needed a break,and he just said 'I'm not getting into an argument with you, tickle' and went upstairs and turned the monitor off.

So now I'm sat here, fucked off, worried, sad and wide awake, and in tears.

Natmu Fri 18-Jan-13 02:44:20

Oh Tickle sad

Don't worry. I hope you jumped back into bed and left him to it. However D our H's are they don't seem to appreciate the phenomenal pressure it is to have one of these little ones reliant on you all the time. I would have been the same in your situation except I probably would have hurled the syringe across the room and come storming back down screaming and crying hysterically. Go easy on yourself. You don't need yourself as another critical judge. DH will get over it and hopefully experience for himself what a difficult job you've been doing and therefore show a little bit of appreciation.

Hope you have managed to get some sleep.

((((Hugs)))) and brew

ticklemyboobsofsteel Fri 18-Jan-13 03:56:21

Thank you lady. Managed an hour or so, couldn't keep my brain from racing. Just been up to feed the wee man and the atmosphere was fine, so perhaps a tiny overreaction on my part. He's told me to go back downstairs to sleep, bless him. So here I am. He's got DS sleeping on the sofa while he lays on cushions next to him to stop him rolling off!

DH is who DS is most reliant on during the day so he does know how it is. I think we were both a bit tired and frustrated earlier. Thank you for your kind words though.

It's drs for DS tomorrow though, his cough is atrocious.

ticklemyboobsofsteel Fri 18-Jan-13 03:56:57

I hope you are having a decent night Natmu

Natmu Fri 18-Jan-13 04:54:05

Sorry, bit unfair of me to your poor DH! Mine doesn't take much of the strain from me baby-wise although does lots of cleaning etc.

We're having a rubbish night again because of DS's eczema. Poor little man is so itchy he keeps trying to claw at his neck. We've got a paed's appointment on 12th Feb to start ball rolling for allergy testing. It can't come fast enough.

Glad you're feeling a bit better tickle. Hope the GP is helpful.

Just been reading a controlled crying thread, and once again I'm confused by the term 'He just grizzles'. I have never heard DS grizzle. He goes from 0-60 full on screaming with tears in seconds. I have never heard him just moaning.

Natmu Fri 18-Jan-13 13:10:32

Same here little! I know some babies do it because DS1 did but not number 2. Oh no!

Nightmoves Fri 18-Jan-13 20:25:45

tickle hope you have a better night tonight. Last night was horrendous for me too. Waking every 45 mins to an hour. All sodding night. Was like a zombie today. Thank god managed to get my head down for an hour with DS at lunchtime. Haven't felt that bad for ages, was like early days of bf all over again. Took him to gp today for cough and as his ears seem to be bothering him in the vain hope I would be given some magic pills to make everything ok but no infection so just carry on with the calpol. I really wish DH would sleep somewhere else sometimes as watching him be sound asleep while I sit up rocking a coughing/crying/sitting/standing DS multiple times in the middle of the night drives me insane. We have also had harsh words this week. How did you get on at doctors?

natmu hope you have a less itchy night.

little likewise with the CC. DS could outlast me with this approach definitely and think he knows it too grin

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