My DD is waking every 1-2 hours, help? Please? (long)

[fluffacloud]

Hello

DD2 is 6.5 mo and used to be a good sleeper - not any more! She's gone from waking once a night to BF to waking every 1-2 hours, this has been going on for about 3 weeks and I'm so tired that I could cry.

She's currently cutting teeth 5 and 6 (they always bloody come in pairs) and today she has a stinking cold to add to the mix.

I put her to bed at 7pm and I've had to go to her 3 times already.

The only way to settle her is to feed her and then she goes back to sleep within about 20-30 mins, only for the whole cycle to start again.

So not to drip feed our 'routine' is:

5pm - Dinner mix of puree and finger food
6pm - Bath and dressed
6.30pm - Calpol, teething powder and BF to sleep
7pm - She's asleep, temporarily at least

I'm at my wits end as I start work again in 2 weeks and I don't know how I'll cope. DP has also said that her wakings are frustrating him and that he can't stand the sucking/slurping noises she makes when she BF through the night. His opinion is that she should be in her own room....My opinion is that he should shut the Jeff up!

Any ideas or magical cures, oh wise MN'ers, pretty please? Thanks

[fluffacloud]

Ok - so maybe that was a bit long!

The highlights are:

Baby won't sleep
I'm tired
Help
Please

[EdwardtheEagle]

No advice unfortunately, but I'm in pretty much same position with dd. I'm sure she's teething but that doesn't make waking up every 45 mins- an hour all night any easier. She was sleeping straight through before!!! Help!!!!!

[Mitsouko]

Hi there, sorry - don't have a solution but just wanted to say that my DD (who has been a poor sleeper since birth) started doing this at about 4 months and I thought it was never going to end. Not sure if we're out of the woods yet but she's just turned 8 months and this week has been much better. She's done a few longer blocks of 4-5 hours in the evening with minimal resettling. I think it's a mixture of teething, developmental changes and sleep regression. Seems to be a very common problem on these boards. I have survived by co-sleeping for half the night and having a very supportive and helpful partner. Hope it gets better soon and hang in there.

[Mitsouko]

Oh, and we were able to cut down the (hourly) nightfeeding by using a dummy. I've been doing two feeds at 11 / 12 and 4 / 5 most nights. DH settles her with dummy and shush pat in between feeds, or a cuddle if she's real upset (she'll usually go to sleep on his chest as he rocks her, it's really sweet). Of course I feed if these measures fail, but I bf laying down in bed so can just doze through it.

[BartimaeusNeedsMoreSleep]

I had a bad sleeper from birth and from 4 months it became horrendous so I totally sympathise.

It started getting better around 11 months when I stopped feeding to sleep and used gradual withdrawal (Andrea Grace's method). I doubt it would have worked for DS before that age though - he went through huge periods of clinginess. Plus I had to change how I got him to sleep many times as what worked previously would suddenly stop.

[TwinkleReturns]

It sounds like a period of sleep regression which often occur around 6mo, a year, 18mo and 2yo (i think thats right off the top of my head). They often coincide with teething or other unsettling things like illness etc and are times when separation anxiety kicks in. DD has just been going through one at 18mo. The best thing you can do is grit your teeth and ride it out. Yes Im sure plenty of people will come along and suggest controlled crying and all sorts of other things but I wouldnt advise that at a time when she is poorly, in pain and going through a "wheres mummy???????" phase. Infact Ive done the opposite with DD which has been quite successful.

Ive upped cuddles at bedtime and spent more time doing stories and "together" things before she goes to sleep. I check her regularly before she wakes and whisper something or stroke her hair so that she subconsciously knows Im there. I go straight to her when she wakes and give lots of cuddles. After a few weeks we seem to be coming out the other side. 6mo is still tiny and with scary hurty things happening (teeth) she's going to need lots of reassurance. I would definitely NOT chose now to be the time to put her in her own room as this will make the separation anxiety much worse and will be too disruptive at a time when she needs reassurance that you are always there when she needs you.

It will pass. Normally the range is a few weeks to a few months. Stock up on coffee, tell you DH to button it and ride it out. You'll start to notice an improvement which will let you know the tide is turning. Good luck

[TwinkleReturns]

Also although it might seem insane make sure she is sticking to naps during the day. The temptation is to keep her awake during the day so shes tired at night but that actually leads to overtiredness which makes LO unsettled at night. So whatever naps she was having before, make sure she still has them even if it means rocking her for ages to get her to sleep. If shes struggling to settle for naps its another indication that this is sleep regression. It also shows she is overtired and therefore needs the nap so be firm and stick to it (more teeth gritting Im afraid!!)

[Jellybellyrbest]

Sympathy to you OP. My DD is 7MO & slept through from 8W-21W. Now she's feeding 4hourly at night despite being good with solids and having a dummy. She used to suck her thumb, but doesn't now she's attached to her dummy. I'm regretting this as she can't always self-settle now & I'm worried I've caused the little pet problems. So I'm often in & out between feeds to replace said dummy :-/

Sorry I can't add any more advice than the lovely people above. I have to say that when DD was as bad as you're describing, it was her teeth and she cut two quite close together and things did settle on their own. I'm dreading the next ones. I'm back at work 1 day/wk and have two older DC, and an elderly dependant sick MIL so it's really tough going on little sleep and I know how knackered you must be.

FWIW; I always feel better after I've moaned to DH and though he's not the best (forget helping out at night, despite telling me "You should get some sleep Babes"?????????????) the moral support is nice.

Hope it eases soon.

[Mitsouko]

Oh dear, just read the part about your H being an arse! He should be helping and supporting both you and baby, not making childish complaints like that.

[teacher123]

I've just posted on another thread, as my DS is the same age as yours and has had a really unsettled week, despite sleeping pretty well for the last month. I am just doing calpol, cuddles and feeding whenever he seems to need it. He self settles at nap time and bedtime so am just going with the flow for the moment. sometimes I send DH in, as he can settle him without feeding him,whereas the minute that I go in there, DS goes completely inconsolable until I feed him. It's hard if you are in the same room as you are right there, so if he stirs he knows that you're there. However don't move him unless it's what you want to do. I found that when we were all in together, none of us slept very well!

[Mitsouko]

Great post Twinklereturns!

[BartimaeusNeedsMoreSleep]

I agree with more cuddles and riding it out (and believe me I know how hard it is).

DS isn't very bad with teething fortunately but our worst night was when he would not go back to sleep for over 2 hours (and it was about the 4th time he'd woken up) and DH and I had an argument. DH wanted us to leave DS to cry (which is standard for his culture) and I refused. DH stormed off to sleep on the sofa and I stayed with DS.

The next morning DS opened his mouth and 3 new teeth had appeared!

Since then DH listens more to me and although he is frustrated that I won't leave DS to cry (and DS refuses to have DH in the night so I do it all) he is a lot more supportive of me and sympathetic.

[1stMrsF]

One of my DTs did exactly this - started sleeping badly at 6m. I eventually figured out it was wind, and that the bf back to sleep was just making it worse. I found that dentinox drops at the bedtime feed solved the problem.

I can see you've got a lot of other stuff going on here - teeth, colds, prob recently started weaning too - it could be any of them, and whatever it is will get better but you do have my sympathy it was awful at the time.

I really recommend the No Cry Sleep Solution as a guide to finding out what's wrong and trying different ways to settle in a way that can lead to self settling. It really helped me stay objective about it all.

Hope things get better for you soon

[fluffacloud]

Thanks to you all for the replies

Last night was the worst so far. I got so fed up of running upstairs every half an hour that I took her downstairs at about 10pm - BIG mistake! She was still awake at 1am, happy as Larry, the little sod.

She settled in her cot just after 1am but still woke at 2.15, 3.45 and 5.30 at which point DD1 woke up too. Although, she wanted daddy to take her downstairs - ah, Karma!

I'm not ready to do any sort of sleep training just yet, she seems a bit young for that at the moment. Wind may be an issue, I think that her latch has worsened since her teething began, I'll try and spend a bit more time winding her rather than chucking her back in her cot the moment she closes her eyes!

Thanks again for the suggestions and support

[EdwardtheEagle]

Oh fluff I feel your pain! Worst night here too - dd asleep at 7, awake at 10 for milk, awake from 1-3 yelling, gurgling, throwing dummy out of cot, me crying (helpful), then awake again at 4, 5 and finally 6.15.

[BartimaeusNeedsMoreSleep]

Oh I can remember when DS woke up every bloody hour, then stayed awake for over two hours whilst I paced the floors with him in the sling desperately wishing he'd just bloody go back to sleep even if was just for 45 minutes!

It honestly does get better. I didn't really believe MNers who told me that, and it's frustrating cos it gets better, then gets worse again (sorry) as they learn to roll, sit-up, crawl, stand, walk...

In fact, at 6 months maybe your LO is on her way to sitting, rolling or crawling? DS was bad for weeks around each developmental leap and as he went from rolling to walking in 4 short months...well, it was awful.

As I said, various things helped at different times. There were times when DS BF to sleep next to me on our bed and I waited 10 minutes Mning until I moved him into his cot, other times we co-slept, other times I gave up around 5am and put him in his pushchair to walk him off to sleep...

Be kind to yourself. Try and claw back any sleep you can (DS started to improve his sleep in the night but was waking for the day at 5am so I started to go to bed at 9pm at the very latest - really made a difference although I felt like I had no life at all as I work FT).

Sometimes I also put DS to bed, then went to bed myself for 30-60 minutes then woke up when DH got back from work, had dinner with DH and went back to bed!

[fluffacloud]

Selfish I know, but it's nice to know that I'm not alone in my suffering!

Edward - perhaps you and I could arrange some sort of time share where we take it in turns to cry, pace and sshhh with the DCs while the other gets some sleep?!

She has just started to 'comando' crawl, a mixture of slithering on her belly and rolling.

Still, I shouldn't complain, I got to catch up on hours of trashy TV last night.

[EdwardtheEagle]

Fluffs count me in! I shall include cake and tissues. I'm thinking of going to bed now so I can at least try and get a couple of hours before the madness begins.

[fluffacloud]

Good plan!

I've only just settled my DDs, I'm hoping for at least an hours peace to eat half a packet of chocolate digestives and drink a mug of hot tea for a change!

Good luck to all involuntary insomniacs out there for tonight!

[Nightmoves]

Hi guys,

Please can I pop over to share the tissues, and maybe the cake too? My DS is exactly like this. Asleep by 8 but usually awake every 40 mins till midnight/1ish. Then, if I'm very lucky, I get a few hours in a row now before a repeat of the 40 min waking till morning. The last few nights he has chucked in an episode of being awake for an hour and a half at 4am, just for good measure. Aaaaaarrrrrggghhhh... I met a friend the other day, also a new mum, who was chuckling about her Saturday nights now consisting of watching tv. I didn't have the heart to tell her mine consist mainly of lying in a dark room praying my baby will go to sleep!!! Echo comments above that it's nice to know you are not the only one who has these problems.