A routine with 22mth old & 3 mth old. Possible?

[milliesmama]

I really need to set a routine (well nighttime at least) for my 3 mth old DS to keep me sane if nothing else. I just have no idea how to co-ordinate it with my DD's routine (22mths).

DD's routine is -
7-7.15pm bath
7.45pm (ish) milk/story
8pm (ish) bed

Up until last night DS was going to bed with me at about 11pm. Yesterday he went down at 7.30pm, slept until 10pm, fed and then woke up about every 2 hrs (sort of feeding) until 8am. I was only able to do this as DH was home at the weekend and could help.

Normally DH doesn't get home until late, and I just can't work out how to bath, feed, milk, story, etc etc both on my own so they both get to bed at a decent time.

Can anyone suggest a routine? Help!

[Auntymandy]

are you happy to bathe them together?
feed at same time then bed at same time?
or bath and feed baby around 6.30 so he is sleeping whilst you sort out DD. Then he will be ready for a feed around 9ish and back to bed

[Blooming]

Am struggling with exactly the same thing. Will let you know if I find anything. Also would you let your 3 month old cry at night? I don't feel I can cope with all the waking up and managing my toddler but don't know if it's too young to do controlled crying and don't want to distress my 3 month old.

[hercules]

need to be at least 6 months for cc

[SenoraPostrophe]

the gap between dd and ds is exactly the same as yours. it is hard for the first few months but...

I used to get dd to help me bath ds before her bathtime, then if she was having bath he would sit and watch in his bouncy chair. (NB neither had a bath every night).

are you breastfeeding? if so it's possible to feed baby while reading a story. then get both changed and in bed. doddle! (or so it sounds anyway).

[Ragtaggle]

Hi - I have a dd1 who is 2.3 and a ds1 of 3 months so in similar position. I'm a stickler for child free evenings so make a big effort to get them both down earlyish. My dh doesn't get back until they are in bed but this is what I do. My conclusion is that with two you just have to decide whose needs are greatest at any given time and that at some point one of them may have to cry for a bit. (Yes, even the baby. It's not ideal but it's the reality of having two)

6.00: Put them both in the bath, sometimes giving dd1 a head start so we can have a bit of fun. I don't bath him for longer than ten minutes because he is usually keen for a feed after
6.15: Get dd1 into her pyjamas and ds into just nappy all in dd's room. He sometimes has to cry for five minutes if my dd1 is playing up but I think this is the reality of having two. If he's really distressed I will bring dd's pyjamas down with me and dress her after I've started him off a bit
6.20: Give dd her milk and start feeding ds one in front of cbeebies!
6.50: Leave dd1 in front of beebies while I put ds to bed. If he isn't finished feeding I break off to get dd1. when beebies ends then put her into bed with a book and tell her to wait for me (Shutting stairgate as I leave her room!)
7.00 -7.30: Depending on how long it takes to get ds1 down I return to dd and read her a story in bed before sleep. Sometimes ds is kicking off at this point but I turn classic FM up in dd's room until I kiss her goodnight
7.40: Pour large glass of wine
8.00 Fall asleep

[milliesmama]

Thanks everyone for your help. I've lots to try now!

Auntymandy - have never bathed them together, but am going to give it a go!

Blooming - no I haven't tried controlled crying. I think that's for 6 months and over. I usually feed or rock baby to sleep (all wrong, I know!). Have only just moved DS to his cot - he spent most of his night in bed with us up until now. It really helped with the night waking and feeding (assuming you're breastfeeding).

SenoraPostrophe - yes, I am breastfeeding, but not so easy when DD wants to sit on my knee to read and her over-exuberant cuddles of DS's head turn to slaps and scratches! Ho hum.

Ragtaggle - great routine. Will give some of it a go. Have never started a bath at 6pm though...wonderful if I could and it all works that early! Have just spent an hour pacing with DS trying to get him to sleep!

[tinytotmummy]

Not sure if I can remember back that far... When my dd wad 3m my ds was 18m, but has been in the same routine since. I have always bathed them both together - take a changing mat into the bathroom to lay the younger one on while you get older one out. I started bathtime at about 6, after dinner and dd's feed, and kept it short. Then nappy and pj's on no2, and in cot/swing/chair while nappy and pj's for no1. Downstairs for no1 milk with bed and short story at 7pm. I think you have to be prepared to let no2 cry at times, really helps if you have a good baby chair or swing. Don't worry if you don't get round to bathing every night - sometimes it's just not going to happen! HTH