Mumsnet Talk

Done.

Dunnit

done.. but I forgot to click a yes I'm happy for the survey thingy.

bwt they are pretty grim jokes.. but I want sympathy points.. because I have to hear them all the time

done

Does winnie the pooh wear slippers?
No, he has bear feet!

if you are 5!

oops, didn't read properly

What counts a too rude? All my kids love one particular joke and they're all under 11...

I'll give it a try <heh heh heh>

Bugger, they have to be in categories.

Oh well, I'll just post it here.

3 kids go to the park. There they meet a fairy who says 'if you shout whatever you want to eat as you go down the slide, you'll land in a big pile of it at the bottom'

First kid shouts 'ICE CREAM' and whumpf! lands in a giant bowl of strawberry ice cream

Second kid shouts 'Chocolate!' and lands on a big mountain of chocolate

Third kid forgets, and slides down going 'Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee'...

DS1 [10] likes to add a rider to this also.

Fourth kid comes along, see the icecream etc and decides to have a go. As he's going down the slide, he sees kid 3 at the bottom swimming in a pile of wee. 'Oh poo!' he shouts...

'Scuse my stupidity - what's a teacher/parent joke? One contributed by a teacher or paretn? Or one about teachers or parents? Must have been a missing chapter in my Puffin Crack-a-Joke book...

dd age 4 tells this one a lot
"have you heard the joke about the dustbin lorry"

"no"

"that's because it's a load of rubbish"

oh no....must read whole post befor replying

Oops, I have had to submit twice as DD1 noticed I had not entered her age. Is it possible to cancel my first submition (the one where age 10-14 is not ticked?)

Thank you very much!

did you hear the one about the magic tractor?

it turned into a field!


also......

what do monkeys and chainsaws have in common?
they both f* up trees

yup I should'a read the thread..

another Mnetter taught dd a joke about what was Tiger looking for when he looked down the toilet dd has just turned 4
dd tells a joke was a PG version of a cracker joke

-one day a polar bear goes into Starbucks and says
I would like.......................................................
a smoothie please

and the barista says why the big pause?

- because I am a polar bear <he says waving his paws

she then laughs uncontrollably I have video eveidence

wasn't in the the categories but they both make me laugh

What's the last category supposed to be - about teachers/parents or by teachers/parents?

So, where do you put the joke which has had me in stitches more times than any other I can recall but which is vegetation based? Its clearly not an animal, but it cannot be left out. It would be wrong! So, I shall await a reply

What has a trunk, two grey legs and two brown legs?

An elephant with diarrhoea.

My nephew loves it.

My kids like it when their Grandad always asks in restaurants for tigers balls on toast...then when the waiter says they dont have it he asks if they have run out of bread...

DD has done it. They are bad!

What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper

courtesy of ds1

Why do birds fly south for the winter?

Because it's too far to walk

A man lives on the tenth floor of a tower block and every day he takes the lift down to the bottom to go to work. When he comes home he takes the lift to the fifth floor and then walks the rest of the way. Why?

Because he's not tall enough to reach the number 10 button

Sorry, they're awful, but ds1 thinks they're funny