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YOWZA

Hours of sleep: FOUR
Hours taken to clear security: TWO
Sightings of Channel Four News anchors: TWO
Police in high-vis jackets: hardly any actually. This event is really, really lightly policed.

NOT REALLY, THERE ARE THOUSANDS

Security clearance involved being bussed to a deserted industrial site in docklands. It felt very much as though we were all going to be shot.

ExCel is weird massive bunker. We are in with 'written media' in great long banks of desks with hellishly unflattering overhead lighting, so I can only hope you won't be able to see me today.

Morning PolicyWonk! Have been watching your progress. Have a very good day

<<waves to Docklands>>

HELLO THERE PESTO

What this situation calls for is more caffeine. Off to check out the free refreshments. Important for background colour I feel.

excel is spooky.

Yes it is a bit spooky. I keep expecting Bob Hoskins to appear.

I've spilled coffee down myself! Hooray!

OMG there's an entire area with free pastries and bacon sandwiches. It's a dieter's bad dream.

I've just walked along Victoria Embankment and passed loads of big cars with blacked-out windows flanked by hundreds of motorbikes with their lights flashing, heading to Excel I presume. It was all very exciting.

Have fun PW,
keep us posted
(waves from Dubai)

Press conference with Obama at 17.45 apparently. Just over there! <points>

Brown at 15.30.

Youre not sleeveless like Michelle Obama are you?

Sheesh, that woman just likes to show off her arms. Just cos they're all toned and silky.

Have 3/4 length sleeves as it happens.

Combover fans: still have yet to see any. It's all journos in here, so more buzz cuts and pink shirts.

How on earth can we keep it real with thread titles like that! We need live pics today so we assess the quality of the attendees purely on how they look - will any of it be streamed today?

Hi there, I wasn't around to read you yesterday but this is all very exciting. Are they high quality pastries or more the Greggs variety? What is happening this morning?

Pastries all come with cheese (even the apricot ones) and are an absolute river of grease. <goes back for more>

Gah, apparently we will be livestreamed today. PLEASE bear in mind lack of sleep, overhead lighting and greasy food factors.

LINK, LINK, LINK!

There's going to be a 'family photograph' in a minute (I assume this means the leaders) but I can't get into that - photographers only. But one of the G20 bloggers is a photographer so she's probably in there - will try to post her link when she's back.

Then they all go off into a big conference room, lock the door and do nude wrestling or something. We don't get to see that either.

Apparently, from the media's POV, these things are all about the body language of the delegation officials. So when I see some delegation officials, I'll let you know.

Lenin, you perve, it should be in the same place as yesterday. Don't think they've got it going yet though.

I'm right there in a new tab ready to furiously tab back and forth.

So, when do you get to talk to people and post about maternal health?

I have a theory that most of the super large conference venues are built to double as nuclear bunkers. They are all weird, and as an international afficianado of the conference centre, I note that they all seem to have mega underground rooms. And never, ever any real light in the exhibition halls

And the buffets are all grease fests with bad coffee.

Looking forward to your blogs today

What do Michelle, Sarah, Carla and co do while their husbands are nude wrestling?

RIGHT

Victoria Derbyshire, Five Live, midday - me and Robert Peston

(honest)

ROBERT PESSSSSSTON!

OK, now I am a bit jealous. He's not that sexy, but entertainingly bright.

I'm not here, by the way.