Request for sticky on Pregnancy board

[goodnightdarthvader1]

There have been a few threads popping up for the last few weeks mentioning this issue, so thought I'd ask MNHQ about it.

On the Pregnancy board there has been a higher-than-average influx of "Am I Pregnant?" threads. We can't tell posters if they're pregnant or not - only a test can do that - and symptom-spotting is a sketchy science at best.

Even if it is politely pointed out to posters that we can't tell them, only a test can, they get stroppy and threaten to flounce off to The Site That Cannot Be Named as they are more supportive over there. (I will admit, the politeness level is diminishing as the board is getting inundated with these threads of late.)

A lot of posters (myself included) feel the board is mostly for posters who are confirmed pregnant to discuss symptoms, emotions, baby planning, etc. A redirection suggestion to the Conception board also usually results in an angry comeback. All in all it's putting a bit of a sour taste on the board.

My suggestion is a sticky at the top of the Pregnancy board, eg "If you think you're pregnant, read this" or something along those lines, directing them to Conception. It's my hope that this may reduce some of the posts we get along this line.

And if other posters would like to chip in and tell me I can't control where other people post, I need to get over it, I have no life, why am I worrying about this, yadda yadda, please save your breath. I'm on mat leave, I have a lot of time on my hands, but rest assured all my chores are done in between posting on MN, so don't you worry yourselves

[AuntieStella]

At the top of 'elderly parents' there's a click link to the 'dementia' board.

Could something similar be done in Pregnancy, directing posters who think they might be pregnant to 'Conception' and those who want to chat to 'Antenatal Clubs'?

[maybebabybee]

Agree. It's really distracting to have these kinds of posts on the pregnancy board, when there are people who are actually pregnant who need support and advice.

Conception is a more suitable topic for them.

[JessieMcJessie]

Disagree. It's not remotely distracting- they are easy to ignore.

[JessieMcJessie]

And why would you post on a board for people who are not yet pregnant when you want to hear the experiences of pregnant women?

[Epilepsyhelp]

It's not exactly distracting, just ignore the ones entitled 'am I pregnant?!'

Being on mat leave has jack to do with your 'right' to tell others where to post. Posting. 'Am I pregnant' in pregnancy isn't exactly irrelevant and if they have done tests/don't know what's going on with their cycle why shouldn't they ask? Lots of posters do want to help and the others can easily ignore.

[goodnightdarthvader1]

Being on mat leave has jack to do with your 'right' to tell others where to post.

What I just say?

[goodnightdarthvader1]

Oops, did I*. Being on mat leave also affects my ability to proofread.

[DinoSnores]

It is all rather tedious. Sounds like a good idea.

Could I be pregnant?

Mibbes aye, mibbes naw. Do a test!

[SoupDragon]

Honestly, I don't think this is necessary at all.

Some people just need to learn to adjust the personal thread filter in their head.

[SoupDragon]

What did I just say?

Well, you said you were on maternity leave and had a shed load of spare time on your hands. Which, as the other poster was pointing out, is irrelevant to whether you should try to tell people where to post.

[goodnightdarthvader1]

Soup, I said that to forestall the inevitable "Don't you have more important things you should be doing / worrying about" comments that some posters use to try and shut down discussion. Sorry, thought that was obvious. Forgot about the whole "everything to be taken literally" thing on here. Again. I should put a Post It on my computer.

[Epilepsyhelp]

You said 'if other posters want to chip in and tell me I can't control where other people post' then we should not bother as you're on mat leave and all your chores are done - completely bloody irrelevant! Having done all your chores does not make you mumsnet police... If you say something a bit dense you should be prepared for that to be pointed out.

[goodnightdarthvader1]

Oh, dear. Reading comprehension fail. Literal. Literal. Must remember.

Anyway, back to the topic, folks. Opinions welcome.

[ThenLaterWhenItGotDark]

Oh, and what everyone else says....I like a rummage in style and beauty- am a bit of a perfume-holic. But I hate shoes. So, guess what? I ignore the shoes threads.

It seems to work just fine, and I've yet to start a thread asking HQ to Do Something to accommodate my anti-shoe sentiment.

Hun.

[goodnightdarthvader1]

Does HQ think this new Stalinesque regime proposed by DarthVader (v suitable name by the way, kudos) should be extended to other topics....?

Un-fucking necessary.

[SnackPlease]

Have posted this on the Preggo board thread but will pop it here too just in case anyone gives a fuck


I think there are a few issues here. Obviously these are just my thoughts and others may agree / disagree:

• there's almost a new 'Am I pregnant?' thread each day. They don't exactly fill up the pregnancy board, but for those like myself for whom this board has been an invaluable resource, they are annoying. There are loads of pregnant ladies here who really do need advice and although I'm not suggesting these 'Am I?' threads detract from that, they could really do with being separated
  

• we can't actually tell a poster if she's pregnant. Whether or not we are pregnant ourselves is irrelevant
  

• these threads provoke frustrated reactions from Pregnancy board regulars and inevitably turn into a bun fight of some sort
  

• new posters are put off MN because of said reaction. Which isn't fair - on them or us.
  

Personally, I'd love to see and 'Am I pregnant?' board, for the benefit of ladies wondering if they are those who know they are and need a place for advice.

for all.



I won't lose any sleep over which way this goes. The handbags at dawn is, however, unpleasant and feels wrong on the pregnancy board which is normally such a wonderfully supportive place. I just feel that both pregnant ladies and ladies who think they might be pregnant would get better levels of support if threads were separated.

[OliviaMumsnet]

Peace and love people

[SnackPlease]

and cake

[goodnightdarthvader1]

Ha, even the Conception board people don't like it:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2547701-could-i-be-pregnant

But apparently I'm totally unreasonable and a fascist dictator to think these posts are daft

Sorry, Conception board people, if you're annoyed at the suggestion that these posters come bother you!

[JessieMcJessie]

I have had a quick look back over a few pages on the mobile site and, while I agree that there is maybe one "could I be pregnant?" post every couple of days, they absolutely do not dominate the board (had to go back 3 pages to find the first one) and quite a few, if read properly, have OPs who explain their reasons for posting quite sensibly.

Sadly, however, what all these threads had in common was a great deal of mocking and rudeness from other posters. I was actually quite shocked, to be honest, as I had understood that MN policy was that it should be a supportive place, with slight flexibility for, ahem, "robust" debate in AIBU but a general expectation that posters should try to be kind and resist personal attacks even if the advice they were delivering might not be what the OP wanted to hear. Straight talking, yes, making a poster feel stupid for asking a question, no.

Having seen the abuse doled out to these OPs I do think that they should be protected from such gratuitous unkindness.

That said, creating an "am I pregnant?" Topic will just encourage this sort of post and some of the "straight talkers" will just follow them there to get their jollies telling them how silly they are.

A better solution would be an MNHQ comment at the beginning of BOTH the Pregnancy and Conception topics saying something similar like:
"Posters on Mumsnet are not in a position to advise as to the likelihood of pregnancy. If you are unsure whether or not you are pregnant, the only way to be sure is to take a home pregnancy test. Home pregnancy tests will not give a reliable result until the day your period is due. "

[StillStayingClassySanDiego]

I think an Am I pregnant topic would be a useful addition.

If other posters chose to follow those seeking 'am I pregnant' advice, and the associated general chitchat , into that particular area just to get a kick out of being a bitch then they would be seen for the twats they are.

The AIBU thread has been quite revealing about how some posters view the site and certain topics.

[Epilepsyhelp]

Reading comprehension fail?!? My fucking Christ you're arrogant.

You cannot tell people what to post where. Unless you are MNHQ.

Some people irritate you with their questions because you know more stuff than they do, welcome to the world.

[goodnightdarthvader1]

some of the "straight talkers" will just follow them there to get their jollies telling them how silly they are.

I certain wouldn't. I know I get described as "aggressive" on here (among other things) but I'm not a vindictive troll. So if you're including me in this prediction / accusation, you're very wrong and very rude.

[ThenLaterWhenItGotDark]

Jessie- yes, me too.

Charmers aren't they?

FWIW, on desktop, there are 2 nub theory threads and 1 skull theory and 1 Am I pregnant on the first 4 pages.

Totally overrun and I think the zombie apocalypse is descending.

I only read the one Am I pregnant thread and the responses from the Pregnancy Police were vile. That thread for sure should have been reported and deleted.