Painful sex 3 months after baby

[LMST]

Hi there
just wondering if anyone has experienced very painful sex after having baby.
It's been 3 months and we have attempted sex three times but had to abandon as so painful.
I had second degree tear with stitches and all healed well but the whole inside area is painful beyond belief when we try to have sex.
I am generally quite good at dealing with pain but this is too painful to even consider continuing with sex.

Things I have tried
Pelvic floor exercises (still doing these)
KY jelly
Drinking wine before hand

Nothing helping!

Any ideas or experience you guys can share?
I will have to go to my GP I guess eventually but no idea what theyy coudl recommend?

Thanks for any advice!

[AliBingo]

Early days, it will probably get better in time, mine did x

[CheeseFlavouredDiscs]

Go to GP. They have numbing cream, although I can't recall what its called.. It works well, but you will still get small tears in that area, although it does stretch over time. I had a LOT of stitches and everything down there was completely rearranged after they stitched me back up. It took about 9-12 months before we could have sex without the cream, and about 2-3 years before we could manage without the KY jelly.

[LMST]

Numbing cream. Like to put inside?

[CheeseFlavouredDiscs]

It mostly goes on the outside but can go a little inside, but not much. The vast majority of nerve endings are around the entrance and first 2-3cm or so of the vagina, so it doesn't really need to go inside. It's worth trying to see if it helps.

[CheeseFlavouredDiscs]

I used it largely on the perineum, the internal side of the perineum and inner labia. Sorry if that's TMI!

[Ohdearducks]

I had no tears and it took 5 months for me to feel no pain! 3 months after tearing is very early days imo be kind to yourself and your fanjo

[Winniethepooer]

I think you need to see your G.P. I had a 4th degree tear with dc 1. Sex wasn't painful at 8 weeks P.P.

Good luck.

[TheABC]

If you are breastfeeding, be aware that you could be a bit dry and hormonal from that too. I also struggle with painful penetration and I had a c-section, plus the baby is now eight months old!

What helps me is:

• Lots of fluids
  
• Trying when I am relatively rested (e.g. 8pm in the evening, not midnight)
  
• Lots of foreplay and oral sex.
  
• The knowledge that when the breastfeeding/baby neediness has stopped, normal service will resume (yay!).
  

It's also worth trying different lube - lovehoney has a good overview of these and KY jelly does not suit everyone.

As other posters say, it is early days. Congratulations on the baby!

[LMST]

Thanks ladies. I know it's a sensitive topic (in more ways than one) so thank you for being so open.
What is the name of this wonder numbing cream?

Will look into different lubricants too.

Otherwise this baby will be an only child!!

[CheeseFlavouredDiscs]

The cream was called LMX4, and I think you need a prescription to get it, but I'm not sure. See link for detailed info.

www.medicines.org.uk/emcmobile/medicine/24501

[KatLovesCats]

I had a 2nd degree tear with stitches, same as you, and my GP prescribed oestrogen cream to put on the scar tissue - sorted it right out!

[LMST]

Oestrogen? Interesting! I wonder how that works?
Sounds like its worth raising it with GP rather than suffering in silence.
Thanks all!

[steppemum]

I had loads of stiches. It just seemed to take forever to sort itself out. I was sore for months.

Sex wasn't good until about 9 months, but it wasn't painful as you describe, just uncomfortable for ages.

So I would say on the one side it is within the realms of normal, and on the other I would ask to be checked to make sure everything has healed properly, and get one of these wonder creams!

[KatLovesCats]

Yeah it softens the scar tissue! Made a huge difference to me as I had terrible pain when trying to have sex too. Definitely worth a GP visit

[Pixiedu5t]

It was 17 weeks before we successfully managed PIV after giving birth. It still wasn't pain free, but bearable.

Just give it time, relax, plenty of foreplay and lube. Xx