Moving school in September before the start of Y10

[utka67]

DD1 who is currently in Y9, is very unhappy. She's bright, quirky and wants to learn. She's doing well academically but is finding the general atmosphere at school (being clever doesn't get you friends) is increasingly getting her down.

It's been like this for about a year and a half and seemed to get a little better when she was streamed for some subjects during Y8 and then more subjects in Y9. We've tried to suggest that things may improve in Y10 as the classes will be mixed up a bit, but she's not confident things will improve. Things are not helped by the fact that there's a lot of low level sexual banter going on - not aimed at her specifically, but just always present, making things very wearing for those who want to concentrate.

Even supposing we could find the money to send her privately, we know there might be other issues (e.g. with a single sex environment). But I'd be interested to know whether anyone else has done this, and how you got on.

[colander1]

Sorry to hear she is unhappy. I moved both mine from state to private (but much earlier - y3 and y4) and have never regretted it. Apart from brief pangs about what that money could be spent on!

If you do decide to move her, do it quick, before the start of y10. There are three main exam boards (assuming you are in England), and the chances of the new school using exactly the same exam boards for every subject is small. You would then be faced with her repeating y10 as the content or coursework or both could be different.

Although most private schools have broken up, the registrars are usually on hand for some of the summer so you may still be able to arrange visits etc. Are you in an area of the country with a lot of choice of private schools? If you are, that will help as there will be more spaces available.

I have taught in the state sector - in a school that was far more challenging than it should have been - and unfortunately some state secondaries can be pretty uncomfortable places for bright, quirky kids.
Good luck with your decision.

[Leeds2]

I moved - from state to state - in Year 10. It was hard at first but, after the first term, I was glad I had moved.

I moved because of parental job change, and we moved out of the area. My old school also finished in Year 9, so I would have had to have moved anyway. I think this made it easier for me.

My DD is at private school. They got a lot of new entrants in Year 9, but also in Year 10 too. If you moved your daughter to private, I don't think she would be the only newbie.

How does she feel? I wouldn't move her if she absolutely doesn't want to.

[beachyhead]

We moved ds at Easter when he was in Year 9, so he's going into Yr 10 in his new school. I can honestly say it's the best thing we've done so far. He was at a school from Yr 3, a real exam machine school. We kept thinking it would get better, in Year 7 and then again in Year 9, but we finally decided it wasn't for him in about February this year.

It's like having my ds back! But I did have to wait for him to want to make the move.

[poisonedbypen]

DS moved from private to state for year 10. I think if she is really unhappy you should try to move her. she may need to commit to a bit of extra study if they have different boards. Would you stay in a workplace you hated for 2 (or 4) more years?

[Happy36]

If she wants to move, then I would say you should try to do that for her, before Year 10 starts.

Regarding the sexual banter: as a teacher, I see that Year 9 is the "pivot" year when students turn from kids/tweens into adults. Whilst parents might not want to hear this, it´s the year when sexual activity appears to start, not necessarily full sex, but certainly snogging and what swimming pool posters deem, "heavy petting". For each kid it happens at a different time, usually influenced by their friends. Those with older siblings or friends might come back from their summer holiday at the start of Year 9 already "grown up", others might just get there at the end of the academic year. And as a teacher and tutor, we do often have students complaining or being wistful that they want to remain kids, they don´t want a boyfriend yet, they want it to be like the old days - often related to arguments within friendship groups, feelings fuelled by hormonal changes.

What I´m trying to say is that the sexual banter is probably not limited to your daughter´s current school and she is likely to find it, to some extent, in any school. However, a move to a girls´ school sounds wise, if this is one of the things that bothers your daughter particularly.

[Happy36]

Also, if you are going to move her, I´d advise sorting it out as soon as possible. Some schools start GCSE courses in Year 9, particularly in core subjects, so she may have topics to catch up in science or books to read for English in order to start Year 10 alongside her peer group.

[oreorocks]

Name changed for this as quite a distinctive story!
Moved a dc at the end of y9 to a small non selective independent school, so late he started off in lower sets as they had no data for him. He had been failing badly and v unhappy at previous school. He flourished at the new place, got excellent GCSE's and A levels ended up headboy, in the first 15 for rugby and gained a place at a russell group uni to study medicne.
The change process and the decision to do it was stressful but no regrets at all. I think if he had stayed where he was he would have got about 4 GCSEs!

[bigdonna]

my dd moved from a girls school in london to a mixed high school in yr 10 in newcastle she fitted in pretty straight away even though most of the teachers called her london!!!we are now waiting for her gcse results.

[Happy36]

Fingers crossed, Donna, and well done to Oreo 's son. Hope all posters' children, students and relatives have aced their exams. this summer.