Before and after school clubs at high school

[mellowdramatic]

...do not seem to exist! Ds1 will start in September and I don't feel he is ready to walk or catch general bus. There are a couple of parents nearby but I would find it hard to do my fair share of school runs as I work full time and am on my own. Should I offer to pay them? Has anyone any imaginative solutions?

Why don't high schools offer this?

[cardibach]

I think they are not offered at High School because there is a perception that 11 year olds are able to get to/from school and spend a little unsupervised time at home at the end of the day. In fairness, I think most NT 11 year olds are. It is a bit scary when they get on the bus the first time, but in my experience (one DD, so not extensive - although I am a secondary school teacher) they adapt quickly and enjoy the freedom and responsibility.

[mummytime]

My DCs secondary does offer breakfast provision from 8 (school starts 8:30) and "Homework club" until 5 pm. However this isn't as long as Primary school but certainly by 14+ most parent's are quite happy to leave their children alone at home for a while of an evening.
Most school children around here travel alone from 11, and for some this means a considerable distance and multiple trains/buses. They really do cope.

(By 15 ish school will allow them to walk themselves home if they are ill and they have phoned the parent who agrees with this.)

[nessus]

Could he sit and read in the library until 5pm (or whatever time it closes)?

[mellowdramatic]

Library at his school is until 4pm. He is only small for his age and extremely shy so not very streetwise!

I thought childcare would get easier as they got older!

I might be being overprotective but am really worried about this!

But thanks for your reassuring comments.

[Hobnobissupersweet]

Many/most high/secondary schools do offer this, may possibly be a red flag for your school. I know of many that offer 8 am or earlier to 5 pm supervised. There will always be a number of 11 yo who are not ready for lots of unsupervised hours.

[cece]

How about paying for him to go to a cm. He could walk to a local one and hang about there till you pick him up or he could walk home in time for when you get back. I know my cm does this for a Y8 girl who is a bit nervous of being on her own in her own house.

[apoorna]

I have been in the same boat as you since my child started secondary school. I talked to the council as well and came to know there are very few options (none rather) for kids in their secondary school. I always wonder how full time working parents cope with this. Currently my husband has taken a break from work and is taking care of her.

Could you take the help of a child minder? We are planning to do the same when/if he gets into a job. This is the only option we have although I am not sure if there are many childminders who take in 11+ children. I feel secondary schools need to have after-school/ tea-time clubs for children until they are at least 14. Good luck and best regards !

~a

[Minime85]

I agree that its unusual for secondary schools to offer this, having worked in 5 myself. most, as has already been said, do breakfast clubs from 8am and homework clubs often offered if not a lot of buses. can be other sporting clubs etc too after school. is there a childminders he could walk to who you could then collect him from?

[Starballbunny]

We have breakfast and I think you can stay in the library a bit after school, but we'll over 50% of the school travel on dedicated buses some of which are so damned slow, they count as an hour's free morning and evening childcare.

DDs hate the bus, but it does reduce time alone at home, if I'm out.

[Dancergirl]

September is still 8 months away. Maybe with some practice before then, he might be ready to come home by himself?

How far is it to walk? Are there any friends going to the same school who live nearby he could walk with?

What does he do currently at primary? After school club? What time do you finish work?

[creamteas]

The holidays are equally an issue that is worth thinking about. Where I live, no holiday clubs take secondary age kids.

So if investigating a CM, you might also want to check that out.

[sherbetpips]

we will soon be facing this too, I dont know if it is just because he has been in full time nursery and then wrap around care since he was a baby but the thought of him being on his own really worries me. I am considering asking my neighbour as I know she used to child mind her sisters kids and see what sort of rate we could negotiate.

[pussycatdoll]

Yes IMO this is what The summer holidays are for
Letting him practice & getting independence
Round here kids in year 6 start walking home alone or to a place where parents pick them up if they go by car
Starts them gaining independence early on so it's not a big shock in year 7

[MissScatterbrain]

The majority of 11 years olds are capable of getting to school and back. The secondary school day is much more intense so he may be happy to get back to the peace and quiet of home.

You need to start leaving him at home alone. And a dummy run so that he is more confident about catching the bus there and back would be a good idea. You could also walk with him to the bus stop during his first week.

[BackforGood]

When they are 10/11 and in Yr6, it's hard to imagine this, but this is what secondary is all about.
Use the rest of Yr6 now to help him build his confidence, walking to and from Primary alone, having a key, going out and leaving him at home on his own, etc. You could also encourage a friendship with someone else who lives nearby who is going to same school so they can walk together.
It's scary for most parents before they start, but 2 weeks in you'll be wondering why you were worried

[17leftfeet]

Children mature so much the last term of primary -it's scary!

As soon as you are allocated a high school place start doing dummy runs with him on the bus or the walk so he's familiar with the route and if you don't already leave him in the house for short periods while you go shopping etc then you need to start so he gets used to it

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

Does he stay at home alone for any period of time now?
Does he go to school alone now?

tbh he isnt going to get any more streetwise or any less shy if he doesnt start taking small steps to becoming independant. How does he feel about this, what does he want to do after school?

you might find that he surprises you.

[ErrolTheDragon]

My DD was small for her age, shy and definitely not streetwise - but was absolutely fine getting the bus when she started secondary. DH did a 'dry run' with her in the summer hols, made sure she knew where to cross the roads etc. Also we encouraged her to do things like going to the local shop alone.

You could be setting your DS up for bullying if it became known that he was thought to need 'childcare'.

[Morgause]

I travelled on the bus to school 5 miles away at 11 and I was fine.

Practice with him a few times before he starts and he'll know what to do.

[givemeaclue]

Op what will you do in school hols?

[givemeaclue]

At 11 they are expected to get bus etc themselves.if there are others that live nearby perhaps they could walk or her bus together?

[MrsDavidBowie]

Yes, start giving him some independence now.

At our school the children can go to the canteen from 8am, and there are loads of after school clubs for them to go to.

Do some dummy runs on the bus ...does he go out much on his own at the moment?

[kernowal]

I had a huge wobble about this when mine entered year 7. Now she cycles in the dark to a friend's house in the morning (with her Dad) before walking to get the bus with her friends. After school she gets the bus then cycles home and lets herself in. She's at home by herself for about an hour with strict instructions not to open the door to anyone. We've survived so far!

[Leeds2]

My DD's school doesn't offer an after school club as such, but there are plenty of after school activity clubs. Think she did netball, swimming and badminton in Y7, and I can remember her also doing tennis, cookery and badminton. DD isn't into drama or music, but those that were spent a lot of the late afternoon/early evening in school practising for shows etc. Your son's school might offer the same sort of thing? If you look on their website, there might be a timetable of activities offered. Even if he could fill up only a couple of evenings, it might help.

[gobbin]

Yes, find a local childminder who'll keep an eye on him (school isn't a childminding service...)

My DS had a childminder until he went to high school. At the start of Yr 7 he was expected to walk home and let himself in until my return about 1hr 20 later. However, his old childminder said that he could go to her if he ever felt he needed to. He never did, but felt reassured that she was there if desperate.