Grammar school or not?

[brockleyma]

My daughter has gained a score that is above the historic cut off for Newstead Wood Grammar. We are delighted with this as she has been practising for the last eight or so months - though not that intensively, it must be said!

However, now that we have that option, I am not sure if it's the right school for her. It would involve a 45-min journey each way when we have a decent, yet oversubscribed school less than a mile away at which she may get a place (though not guaranteed). She is bright (though not massively self-motivated) but is very keen to go to NW.

DH is cross that I'm making a U-turn as he didn't see why we were putting her in for a Grammar School test in the first place! Now what do I do?

[violetbean]

Tricky one!

I'm not comfortable with the grammar school system so personally would avoid them, BUT am also a big proponent of letting the child have a big say in the decision about which secondary school to go to - after all, they are the ones who have to go there every weekday for 5-7 years!

Is it just the commute putting you off NW or something more?

Hope you can find a path to suit all of you. Am sure people will post further with good advice based on experience. Good luck!

[brockleyma]

Thanks Violetbean. It's the journey and the academic pressure at the school. When you consider any kind of selective school for your child, you have to make the decision when they're still in Y5 but by the time they are in Y6, it's easier to judge what kind of school will suit them IMO.

Also, in searching for info on NW, I've seen quite a bit of negativity around pastoral care, which is not helping me! What I'd like is some reassurance that NW is worth making an effort for.

[hottiebottie]

If, as you say, she is "bright though not massively self-motivated", the GS might be the better option as it would hopefully provide a more stimulating environment for keeping on track, and she would not (or should not) be allowed to "coast", which is a potential hazard at an all-ability school. The old adage that "bright children do well anywhere" doesn't always apply - the child also needs to be motivated in order to overcome peer pressure and possibly lower expectations at a non-GS. We chose to send our very bright eldest daughter to a GS ten miles away in preference to the local comp, as she needed a massive kick up the behind to stay on track. It did the trick and she is now on her way to achieving her ambition to become a vet...and is far more motivated these days! Our younger 3 DCs also attend the same school, one very similar in outlook to DD1, while the others probably would have been motivated enough to have succeeded at the comp. It's worth contacting the local school to see how they challenge more academic children, e.g. with extension work, activities, subject options, etc. Don't be swayed by suggestions of early GCSE entry, as this isn't always a good idea, in my opinion!

Regarding travelling, is there anyone you could share lifts with? Why not ask the school if they could put you in touch with other families in your area? Also bear in mind that, if worried about making the wrong decision, it's generally much easier to switch from GS to comp than vice versa. Depends how oversubscribed your local school is.

[pinktabulous]

Hi
I have a DD in year 7 at NW and so far have been really impressed.

My DD didn't get in on the first round but is by no means struggling. The homework is not excessive, especially if you do it as you go. Pastoral care seems to be good, with the emphasis on the whole of the child rather than just the academic side.

I know it is early days but I am really pleased with our decision.

[Thymeout]

I'd go for Newstead. Your daughter liked the school and she's done v well to get in. It's a superselective, not an ordinary grammar. She's more likely to meet friends with similar interests.

if your local school is Prendergast, there will be bright girls there, too, and she will do well. But there will be fewer of them, and, depending on her personality, there could be a tendency to hide her light under a bushel to fit in.

[fondofuk]

Never to offend you but I don't see why you are bothering yourself with that obvious choice. You got a place at a fantastic school which is also free. If DD goes to a School that sends 10 oxbridge a year then your DD will at least aim that level, probably ending up at a russell group univ if not Oxbridge. If she goes to a No Oxbridge school, she will never even dream about it.

So many people in this country have very low ambitions for theire children and don't even try. As someone from east Asia where education is still big way of moving up "class ladder" I am amazed to see grammar schools in my area(SW london) are full of Indian and some chinese origin (who may be British nationals though). Most of "original" brits around me just don't even try. Maybe because social mobility has got so low in britain that you can't actually move up class ladder any more no matter what you do???

Sometimes I really want to know why...

[mummy1973]

I think if she is really keen on NW go for it. You can move her if it really doesn't work out. She won't get another chance I assume (not in a grammar area). 45 min journey is not too bad. Good luck.

[CaptainSweatPants]

I agree with your dh
You practises the test with her, let her take her ., she passed, has chosen a school she likes & you're changing your mind :(
What if she goes to a school you want her to & she hates it
She'll blame you for not letting her choose

[Sthingmustbescaringthemaway]

I think if your "not massively self-motivated" Dd practised for eight months because she wanted to get in to this apparently well thought of school it would be a massive vote of no confidence in her for you to send her anywhere else. Despite your doubts she has proved that she is capable of sustained effort in pursuit of a goal.....

As I understand it your Dh did not want her to attempt grammar school entry. What was his reason?

[busymummy3]

Sorry to be unhelpful but I think if it was my DD I would have looked thoroughly into the school , reputation for pastoral care etc BEFORE I let her prepare for eight months for a test.
I appreciate that you had to take this decision when she was only in Y5 but I think that if you have let her prepare and sit the test and she has been successful you should send her there , otherwise you may be giving her a unsaid message that you do not think she will be good enough . More importantly she wants to go there what reason are you giving her for your possible u turn ? I agree with your DH why let her go through the whole process of exams etc if you are not going to take up the offer at the end of it. Also by the sound of it he was unsure why you were going for Grammar in first place ?

[Retroformica]

We have the same decision to make with our son.

For us it was important to make sure all options were available to him. He took the 11+ undecided about which school he was going to but if we hadn't of done the grammar prep, it wouldn't have been an option.

[Retroformica]

I don't think the prep will be wasted if you don't go. It's really helped my son with problem solving etc.