School Refuser

[shoes44]

Does anyone have any experience with school refusers? My son is 14 and hasn't been to school regularly for the last 2 years. What I'm hoping for is some advice from anyone who has been in this position with regards to alternative education. I can only seem to find home schooling as an alternative.

Thank you

[BlissfullyIgnorant]

Why does he refuse? Is there a history of bullying?

[creamteas]

I don't have any advice, sorry, except to suggest that you re-post your message on the SN children board. There are quite a few parents on there that have mentioned this in the past.

[GrumpySod]

Yes, I had to change DS school and he still grumps but we got thru.
Depends so much on factors why yours is refusing, though.

[Magdalena45]

I've worked with many school refusers. As the others have said, how you may deal with it depends on the reasons he's refusing (common ones I've come across: bullying, unrecognised learning difficulty, anxiety, non-academic child who'd thrive in more practical environment, etc). Good luck to you!

[Busyoldfool]

My son is refusing school. Yr 7 and hates it. Am considering Home Ed but wd prefer to give school a year. No positive suggestions I'm afraid but I have found the Home Ed boards here very helpful.

My son is anxious and finds school difficult and confusing - that's his reason. Good luck

[realcoalfire]

Changing school? why is he refusing, is there a specific problem or just generally can't be arsed?

[cory]

Dd's school attendance has been very patchy for the last 6 or 7 years, a mixture of physical illness and nerves mixed in together, unfortunately far too impredictable to organise anything in the way of home tuition.

In her case, we have had to consider that she really wants to attend school, so taking her out would not be a relief. Otherwise HE might well have been on the cards.

One thing I've learnt is that the usual parental attitude of making life at home as miserable as possible and not letting them do anything if they can't go to school doesn't work for either chronic illness or school refusal/anxiety. If somebody is already unable to function because of stress, a punitive approach just adds to the stress by making them feel guilty; it doesn't make them a jot more able to function. In our case, the consequences drawn is that we have told dd she can attend her beloved drama club whether she is able to make it to school at all. And we encourage her to get out at weekends, even if she hasn't been to school. Anything that makes her feel more like somebody leading a normal life has got to be good.