Does a child have to sit GCSE's is there any alternitive?

[Marne]

We are having major issues with my step son (who does not live with us), we have just found out he has been refussing to go to school and bunking off, his mother has had warnings and fines to pay as he spends more time at home than school. I year ago dh went to his parents evening and was told to expect dss to acheive A's and B's in his GCSE's if he gets his head down and goes to school every day (he had had a lot of time off due to throat infections). DSS has now given up, has got into the wrong croud, is in trouble with the police and is hardly going to school. We susspect he has Dyslexia (the school mentioned it a while ago but no one pushed for a dx, we thought his mother would have looked into it as well as the school). He's now almost 16 and due to sit his GCSE's next spring. We are now at the point where dh or i will have to go to his mothers house and drag him out of bed to get him to school (which we are willing to do if we have too), his mother leaves for work early leaving dss to sort himself out (which usually means he doesn't bother getting up).

He's just not trying at all and has given up , is there any alternitive for him? of does he (by law) have to sit his GCSE's? I know its very important that he tries to sit them and does well (god, i would do anything to make him).

I have told dh to phone the school tomorrow and see if theres anything we can do to help him get back on track but its so hard when he just doesn't care.

[PotteringAlong]

He doesn't have to sit the exams by law, he just has to be getting an education from somewhere.

If he's not attending school then you could look (with school) at alternative provision; there might be a home tutor route or another unit (EG a PRU) but there might not be the funding for it and you need to be aware of what the provision is like, esp re: PRU's and how they work.

[reallytired]

There are alternatives. There are vocational qualifications, that he could do at college. I think there is a vocational diploma he could do.

www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Schoolslearninganddevelopment/ExamsTestsAndTheCurriculum/DG_10013915

He sounds like a bright lad if he is predicted to achieve A and Bs. Is it possible he has a mental health problem like depression rather than an academic problem?

[Marne]

Thanks Pottering,
One of dss's friends is attending a unit (after being excluded), we thought once this friend was out of the picture (no longer at school) dss would start going more (as they seemed to bunk off together) but its only made things worse. I just need to know all the options before talking to the school (well dh talking to the school, i'm not sure if i can have anything to do with it).

[Marne]

reallytired- yes, theres deffently a chance of mental health problems, theres a huge family history of depression and ASD.

[cjbartlett]

If he's getting into trouble with the police and his mum isn't effective in getting him to school I'd be seriously looking into him living with you

To stop him getting into more trouble, get him away from the bad crowd

[Marne]

We are talking about moving him to us, we don't really have the room though so its going to be tricky, both my dd's have ASD so moving in a troubled teen could really effect them, also we live 2 doors away from the boy that has been excluded (we all live in the same village), his mother has been useless (which is partly why he is like he is). At the moment dss refusses to visit us as he knows that dh will come down on him like a ton of bricks, he will drag him out of bed in the morning and wont let him sit on his bum all day. Everything is such a mess .

[Marne]

Thanks Reallytired for the link, it has explained a lot of the options (just trying to explain them to dh).

[Saracen]

Are you and your dh available to keep an eye on your ss during the day? If so, what about home education? Perhaps you could have him during the weekday daytimes and he could be at his mum's house the rest of the time, so that things remain unchanged for your daughters whenever they aren't at school?

I appreciate that taking responsibility for the education of an unmotivated teen could be a daunting prospect, but it sounds like you are determined to help him. If he is not on track to achieve much at school anyway, then whatever you may be able to do educationally would represent an improvement and would mean you aren't all banging your heads against the wall trying to force him to go somewhere he is simply refusing to go. You would at least be able to keep a good eye on him to ensure he isn't in trouble with the police, and he might respond well (educationally or at least emotionally) to the extra attention he would get all day. He may feel better just through spending those extra hours a day with a caring adult who is available to chat and take an interest in what matters to him.

If you do this, he could work towards some qualification or you could simply concentrate on the actual education for the time being, either working on areas which need improvement in order to give him the life skills he'll need or else allowing him to focus on his interests which may motivate him. If your stepson's attitude could be turned around now, it will make all the difference to him and he can work toward qualifications at a later time.

[Marne]

Thanks Saracen, i don't think i'm bright enough to home ed him , dh works but i am at home (between hospital apointments with the dd's).

We phoned him this morning to make sure he was up for school but he did not answer (hopfully this means he went to school). His mum is being very unsuportive (i don't think she's that bothered if he messes up his education) and she's not really communicating well with dh to sort anything out. Dh will phone him again tonight to check he went to school.

Last week he was caught stealing clothes, when we questioned him he said ' he was pinching thermal trousers as he was cold waiting for the school bus in the morning', not sure how true this is, a few weeks a go he was caught stealing food as he was hungry (mother was at work and left no food n the house). We have told him 'if he goes to school every day at the end of the week if he needs a new pair of trousers, trainers etc.. then we will buy them for him' (of course if theres anything her really needs then we would buy it anyway).

[IndigoBell]

Marne - this all sounds very hard and very depressing.

But don't forget that not only does he not have to sit his GCSEs now - he can sit them later.

If in a few years time if he realises he's made a huge mistake, he can always go to college and get his GCSEs then. (Or get other qualifications)

So don't feel like this is his one and only chance.

At some stage everyone has to take responsibility for his own life. And it sounds like for him, the time is now........

There is a chance that him failing this year is the thing he needs.

Somehow he has to learn to take responsibility for himself.

Does he know what he wants to do next year? Does he know what qualifications he needs to do that? He may need hardly any GCSEs to get into a fantastic vocational course that will really suit him......