DS2 is in 4th year. He missed getting a praise card with his report this time as he only received a 4 for one subject (on a scale of 1-6 for effort) a 4 means Good. 5 is Very Good and 6 is Excellent He got 4 x 6s, 2x 5s and the 1x4. As I understand it, he only received a 4 for that subject as he failed to hand in a piece of homework and he admits that he could definitely be working harder. It's a subject that he wasn't that interested in but the columns sort of led him to do. He has had a praise card for every single report up until now.
The missed piece of homework resulted in a letter home. We all talked about it and agreed that he was letting himself down and whilst we didn't expect him to suddenly become enthused, he needed to ensure that he was meeting the requirements and that he was capable of easily getting a pass with a little effort. If he wanted to channel his energy into getting a better grade in his other subjects we were fine with that, but not doing the work wasn't acceptable.
Since then he hasn't has an issue and he was pleased that he scored very highly in a recent test after he had done the self study/homework that was asked of him. The teacher seemed to give him a telling off before the test as she seemed to think he hadn't done the work, he had, as the results showed.
Anyway, not achieving a praise card seems to trigger a "voluntary" programme which entails the pupil getting a signature from each teacher at the end of each lesson to confirm he is trying (or something).
DS decided not to volunteer for it since it is voluntary and he doesn't feel he has an issue anymore. However, he and some other pupils were pulled into a special meeting today basically being encouraged told to volunteer.
DS doesn't think this is very fair as he would be asking teachers who rated his effort as Excellent or Very Good to report on him every lesson. He feels that he's got the message and doesn't need this programme.
I agree with him and have said it's up to him to do it or not and that if he doesn't think it would help him, he should go to the teacher who held today's meeting and tell them that he isn't going to do it and why.
I've suggested that a compromise might be to do it only for the subject that he got a 4 in.
Am I being too soft and should I be telling him to go and sign up as the school so clearly wants?
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4th year support plan thing, am I being too soft?
WankersHacksandThieves · 25/10/2016 18:19
I'm 
at the amount of unnecessary admin that this would involve the school/teachers in, even in the subjects where by their own admission his effort is excellent.
I don't think you are being too soft. You've talked to your ds, the issue had been addressed - and the scheme is supposed to be voluntary.
Doesn't sound like a particularly supportive scheme. Sounds like a "tick box" exercise rather than support where there is (or might be) an issue 
Ds had one subject last year (French) that I don't consider he put in the required effort - and surprise, surprise he only got a C in it.
It wasn't helped by his teacher being off for a large part of the year (although he actually started to be enthused more by one of the supply teachers ) and the fact that we never got a report home for the subject (because she was off ill).
But as it wasn't essential for his university aspirations (even though it's the subject I have a degree in 
), I wasn't going to get too uptight about it. The fact that I have a ds who is enthusiastic about 4 out of his 5 Higher subjects (he'll thank us for forcing him to do English in years to come 
) and working hard for them is good enough for me.
Keep looking at the long term picture. What does he need for his Highers? What will keep him enthused? Is he enthused by the "important" subjects?
That's what matters in the long term.
he's not been totally let off it: I've told him I know he was capable of getting an A in his French....
Strangely enough it French that is the subject in question...
He is enthused and working for the other 6 (well 5, he isn't enthused and keen on Maths but he is trying hard and got a 6 for effort).
He can be lazy so he is planning on doing the subjects for Higher that he has the best chance of getting a good grade in. He is clever. At the moment History and Modern studies are his favourites, he'll do English as he finds it a breeze, I'm not sure what else, he's talked about crashing RMPS (as an atheist) as he sees it as an easy ride given that he only needs to be able to write a decent essay . I guess it depends on the columns really and his prelim/exam results. he now has not a clue what he wants to do,thinks he might skip 6th year and go to Uni at the end of 5th, he'll probably change his mind. DS1 is only one year ahead so effectively i could have the two of them starting Uni together.
at the system of a getting sign-off on effort at the end of each lesson because of one bit of missed homework. It would be totally unworkable at my DCs school - three quarters of the class would be getting sheets signed each lesson.
I don't think you have been too soft at all. I can't see any gain for your son in participating. He already has modified his effort and participating is probably quite embarrassing for a 15 year old.
At my DCs school letters home only for failed unit assessments or failure to complete compulsory coursework. Sign-off sheets are only for truancy and serious behaviour issues and rarely in S4. At most pupil support teacher may call parent with concerns or feedback on improvements or otherwise.
Agree with prettybird as long as my DC concentrate on the subjects they need and aren't distruptive to others in subjects they don't need then I'm relaxed about their effort.
Even As a Modern Languages graduate, I don't see the point in forcing him more than he's doing already.
I also wonder of him participating would actually be counter productive: instead of getting on and getting settled in his next class, he's having to wait around to get his "effort" signed off in the previous class . I'm sure even the teachers would get pissed off with this. (I'd be interested in the opinions of the various teachers who contribute to Scotsnet)
One thing I would recommend is getting him to practice both the spoken and listening elements of the French exam. I had a day to work with ds on his spoken assessment: made massive progress in that day, but I could have done sooooooo much more and he wouldn't let me work with him on the listening element
Interesting to see your perspective Wankers as my DDs' friends attend same school as your DSs (same year as your DS2) and they (and their parents) all feel that the girls are outnumbered and undervalued. They feel so much is aimed at the boys and encouraging their success that girls might as well be invisible. Sighs all round when assemblies begin with "in a boy heavy year group like this...".
But with 4 DDs I often hear how tired they get of school life being geared towards boys. Their school is more .. eh "diverse" so it might be more about managing behaviour 
Where would you get that info from if you're not a parent at the school? Did the school publish it? Not that I want to wind up DDs' pals or anything, not me 
Also have friends with DSs at the other schools which use the praise card system and they believe, perhaps not anecdotally, that boys have a much smaller chance of being awarded one.
Just looked out the programme for ds' Awards Ceremony. It's difficult to quantify as it's done by form class, with some kids getting lots of awards. In ds' year, there are a few boys who got almost all the subject awards (only reason he didn't get the Nat 5 Maths award was because he got the Maths Higher Award!)
The school recognises all sorts of things: from representing the school in the Glasgow Schools' Adventure Race to Scottish Swimming Triallists, to Saltire Awards for volunteering to the Edinburgh Nook Festival Graphic Lyrics Project to DoE Bronze/Silver/Gold Awards to Achievements & Contributions to Rugby (one of ds' awards ) to Maths Challenges Awards to Gymnastics & Dance Awards to Young Enterprise Scotland.....and so on
There are 11 A4 pages of Awards at 1.5 line spacing ! The Awards Ceremony takes a long time, even though they've streamlined it by giving each individual all their certificates at once (that's why they do it by form class).
There do seem to be a higher proportion of girls getting recognition, at least in S4 and S5 but in S6 there seemed to be more boys getting awards. But I don't know the split of boys v girls in the respective years - and also the difference that a couple of clever kids who win everything can make.
FWIW, both the Dux and the Proxime Accessit were boys.
Ttlshiwwya (hope that's right) you just made my day, "DS and his pals don't give a fuck" . So spot on, and not negative, just honest. Awards and merits mean something to some and nothing to others. Lots of the award winners at my DDs' ceremony didn't go and many at the school I teach in preferred to just get theirs at a school assembly "cos it's boring pish too many folk talking for ages". I went as DDs won subject awards wouldn't get those hours of my life back for an effort one. They know how much importance I place on effort thanks to my mortifying request for DD2 to get an effort booklet when she failed to get a praise card in S2. That was a great motivator 
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